Personalized wedding reflection

furtherstudy

I was asked to do personalized wedding reflection after the church ceremony for friends. I’m really uncertain where to go with this. Should it be religious/humorous/about the couple or the bride or groom alone. So lost and don’t want to let the couple down. Would appreciate if people could suggest possible areas to go with it or even post a personalized wedding reflection that they did or have heard. Thanks in advance.

jlm29

furtherstudy wrote: »

I was asked to do personalized wedding reflection after the church ceremony for friends. I’m really uncertain where to go with this. Should it be religious/humorous/about the couple or the bride or groom alone. So lost and don’t want to let the couple down. Would appreciate if people could suggest possible areas to go with it or even post a personalized wedding reflection that they did or have heard. Thanks in advance.

Do they actually want you to write a reflection, or do they want you to go off and find a reflection that someone else has written that you feel would be meaningful to them and relevant to them?

I presume it’s the former, but that’s a bit much, I’ve never come across it. It’s always some lovely verse that the bride and groom pick out of somewhere and print in the ceremony booklet. I can see why you’re a bit lost! Could you ask the bride and groom for some direction?

L'prof

Just find a verse from The Velveteen Rabbit. We used it for our wedding. Really nice

Addle

Heaney’s Scaffolding is definitely the most popular I’ve heard over the years.

Personalized reads like they want you to compose something original to me.

SirChenjin

I think you need to have a chat with them, find out are they expecting you to write something or do they have a reflection picked and just want you to read it.

lazygal

Ask the priest what he would recommend. Most of these are cringy though, do they really want it?

woodchuck

Am I the only one who didn't know what a wedding reflecton was and had to google it

SirChenjin wrote: »

I think you need to have a chat with them, find out are they expecting you to write something or do they have a reflection picked and just want you to read it.

This. They could be coming up with a personalised one themselves that they just want you to read it out. Ask for clarification though. No point worrying until there's something to worry about.

splinter65

lazygal wrote: »

Ask the priest what he would recommend. Most of these are cringy though, do they really want it?

The priest is just responsible for the religious element and the civil bit.
Any “add ons” the bride and groom want like music and flowers, decorations and “reflections” are to be OK’d by him as a courtesy but I doubt if he’d have any suggestions apart from a catholic prayer or reading.
OP if you are someone who is known to the bride and groom as a poet or creative writer of some kind who knows them and the history of their relationship very well, then I would understand them asking you to sit down and write something original about how you feel about them as a couple, and your ponderences on their nuptials and impending life together as a married couple.
You don’t appear to be that type of person though, and I don’t blame you for being concerned about this because very few of us would be comfortable about getting up in front of all the wedding guests and reading out our personal thoughts.
So go back to the bride and groom and ask them which piece exactly they want you to recite.
Personalized to me means something that has deep significance to them, so if they don’t have any suggestions then all they are doing is “check boxing” their wedding.
By that I mean that they have a list of chores that they think they need to complete in order to have a successful wedding day, they are working through the list and you have been assigned to the “no. 46. have someone read poem or something about marriage when mass is over” chore on the checklist.
I was on Facebook the other day and came across a newlywed sharing her terrifying itinerary from her recent wedding day.
She had planned the day starting at 5 am for a 12 noon ceremony with military precision including the groom and party arriving at the church at 25 past 11 exactly!
What did strike me a little sad was her planning to be photographed reading the surprise love note she had already organized (and no doubt already written herself) that the groom was to have had delivered to her before she left home.

Faith

Splinter65, I have deleted your last post as it was completely unrelated to the thread at hand, and also contained a tremendous amount of identifying information about people who presumably didn’t consent to you sharing it with random strangers on the internet.

splinter65

Faith wrote: »

Splinter65, I have deleted your last post as it was completely unrelated to the thread at hand, and also contained a tremendous amount of identifying information about people who presumably didn’t consent to you sharing it with random strangers on the internet.

I didn’t think it would matter as she shared it publicly on Facebook but I should have asked you first and for that I apologize.

Neyite

splinter65 wrote: »

I was on Facebook the other day and came across a newlywed sharing her terrifying itinerary from her recent wedding day.
She had planned the day starting at 5 am for a 12 noon ceremony with military precision including the groom and party arriving at the church at 25 past 11 exactly!
What did strike me a little sad was her planning to be photographed reading the surprise love note she had already organized (and no doubt already written herself) that the groom was to have had delivered to her before she left home.

I'm in that group and saw that too. To be honest if I was a nervous bride that would have terrified me with all the things on a long list to check off.

OP, I think you need to check with the couple. It sounds like they've either got the reflection for you already to just read off or that it's a thing on a list that they think they need to do. More and more people are unfamiliar with church ceremonies in general so fire in all the things that they think are applicable to a wedding mass and draws it out for guests when there's no need for half of it. But since it's not your wedding, not much you can do there other than check with them what exactly they are looking for.

If they do want you to come up with something then I personally would aim for sincerity over humour as it's still part of the mass.

furtherstudy

Appreciate all the advice boards