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Did your husband/boyfriend give up alcohol when you were trying to conceive?

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  • 08-09-2019 6:13pm
    #1
    OMM 0000
    Registered Users Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭


    Hi all

    I'm not sure exactly where to post this, so I thought parenting in general might be suitable.

    I'm after reading a study which says alcohol damages men's sperm. After giving up alcohol for three months, the sperm returns to normal.

    Now I think we've all heard of the rule that women shouldn't drink while pregnant. Perhaps some of us have heard maybe women shouldn't drink while trying to conceive.

    But have any of you heard of men having to give up alcohol when trying to conceive? And specifically, did your partner do this?

    I'm wondering how common this is. I had never heard of it before.

    Thanks for your replies.


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    #2
    bee06
    Registered Users Posts: 4,514 ✭✭✭bee06


    No he didn’t. We were doing ovulation induction (due to PCOS on my side) so as part of the investigations he has a semen analysis done and there were no issues. He wouldn’t be a big drinker but would have a couple of pints or bottles of beer at the weekend.

    I did give up though mostly because if I’d was driving or just not drinking on a night out because I didn’t want to it used to kill me for someone to make a wisecrack about me being pregnant when we were having trouble conceiving.

    2nd pregnancy both of us were drinking but not regularly due to the toddler ruling our lives. Hangovers + children do not mix.


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    #3
    Reppohc
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 45 ✭Reppohc


    OMM 0000 wrote: »
    Hi all

    I'm not sure exactly where to post this, so I thought parenting in general might be suitable.

    I'm after reading a study which says alcohol damages men's sperm. After giving up alcohol for three months, the sperm returns to normal.

    Now I think we've all heard of the rule that women shouldn't drink while pregnant. Perhaps some of us have heard maybe women shouldn't drink while trying to conceive.

    But have any of you heard of men having to give up alcohol when trying to conceive? And specifically, did your partner do this?

    I'm wondering how common this is. I had never heard of it before.

    Thanks for your replies.

    I gave up alcohol and smoking six months before we conceived and stayed off until the child was born. Its a no brainier in my opinion and should be talked about.


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    #4
    OMM 0000
    Registered Users Posts: 3,733 ✭✭✭OMM 0000


    Reppohc wrote: »
    I gave up alcohol and smoking six months before we conceived and stayed off until the child was born. Its a no brainier in my opinion and should be talked about.

    I agree it should be talked about more.

    Can I ask:

    Was this normal amongst your male friends or do you think you are a bit rare for being so responsible?


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    #5
    3 the square
    Registered Users Posts: 695 ✭✭✭3 the square


    OMM 0000 wrote: »
    I agree it should be talked about more.

    Can I ask:

    Was this normal amongst your male friends or do you think you are a bit rare for being so responsible?

    Wouldn't think so few drinks would help people relax a bit.


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    #6
    drunkmonkey
    Registered Users Posts: 28,127 ✭✭✭✭drunkmonkey


    Which alcohol did this survey refer to? Coke is used as a contraceptive in some countries, could be something to watch out for. Straight whiskey and you'll be fine...go multiply.


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    #7
    bee06
    Registered Users Posts: 4,514 ✭✭✭bee06


    Can you provide a link to the study OP?


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    #8
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    No but fortunately it happened quite quickly. Maybe if it had been months we might have considered it.


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    #9
    Reppohc
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 45 ✭Reppohc


    OMM 0000 wrote: »
    I agree it should be talked about more.

    Can I ask:

    Was this normal amongst your male friends or do you think you are a bit rare for being so responsible?

    Oh I didn't talk to my male friends or my female friends about it. I assume the clever ones would want to maximise their kids potential and I wouldnt want to be seen as judging.


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    #10
    Reppohc
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 45 ✭Reppohc


    drunkmonkey wrote: »
    Which alcohol did this survey refer to? Coke is used as a contraceptive in some countries, could be something to watch out for. Straight whiskey and you'll be fine...go multiply.

    In my case I went very healthy and thinking back a friend with three kids advised going all salads and water for the six months before conceiving as a man, he said it couldn't hurt and the lady would appreciate that her efforts were being mirrored.


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    #11
    meeeeh
    Registered Users Posts: 11,624 ✭✭✭✭meeeeh


    Reppohc wrote: »
    Oh I didn't talk to my male friends or my female friends about it. I assume the clever ones would want to maximise their kids potential and I wouldnt want to be seen as judging.

    No. We decided that our genes already provide so much potential that maximizing it wouldn't be fair to other parents/kids.

    Anyway a lot of this stuff is designed just to make people more anxious about what they are doing wrong. Neither of us is a big drinker, so giving up alcohol would make very little difference. If someone is drinking too much they should be cutting alcohol consumption anyway.


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    #12
    bfa1509
    Registered Users Posts: 1,022 ✭✭✭bfa1509


    I would've credited alcohol to be the cause of most conceptions...


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    #13
    bilbot79
    Registered Users Posts: 1,989 ✭✭✭bilbot79


    I've read binge drinking increases the chance of miscarriage by 15%. I would say daily drinking would be worse though even if not binging.


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    #14
    Reppohc
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 45 ✭Reppohc


    meeeeh wrote: »
    No. We decided that our genes already provide so much potential that maximizing it wouldn't be fair to other parents/kids.

    Anyway a lot of this stuff is designed just to make people more anxious about what they are doing wrong. Neither of us is a big drinker, so giving up alcohol would make very little difference. If someone is drinking too much they should be cutting alcohol consumption anyway.


    Attitudes like this is why I've never talked to people about it in real life.
    Omn asked a question which I answered from my life experience .

    Your attitude is sarky and ignorant but I assume its attempting to assuage the guilt you would otherwise feel if you were to contemplate that your drinking pre conceptions had effected your issue. So I forgive you.


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    #15
    meeeeh
    Registered Users Posts: 11,624 ✭✭✭✭meeeeh


    bilbot79 wrote: »
    I've read binge drinking increases the chance of miscarriage by 15%. I would say daily drinking would be worse though even if not binging.

    Binge drinking by who? During pregnancy or by couple trying for a child?


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    #16
    bilbot79
    Registered Users Posts: 1,989 ✭✭✭bilbot79


    meeeeh wrote: »
    Binge drinking by who? During pregnancy or by couple trying for a child?

    Binge drinking by the male partner. I've been ttc and ivf for years and my samples were always superb but now I teetotal 3 months in advance. In all fairness it's unlikely my sperm are a problem but everyone has to contribute


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    #17
    Princess Calla
    Registered Users Posts: 5,842 ✭✭✭Princess Calla


    There was a programme on a few years ago, how old do you think you are, or something like that.... I'm too lazy to Google. Anyway it was kinda like operation transformation but focused on one person per week. They tested guys in early 20's that drank alot/binge drinking etc and their swimmers were showing signs of damage low motility etc. It was pretty frightening tbh.

    To answer the question though, no he didn't and he'd be a heavy enough drinker, back then anyway. We conceived on first try on both, my age was not exactly in our favour so the first was a shock, a planned shock but still a shock.I thought we would be trying for ages. I very rarely drink though.


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    #18
    meeeeh
    Registered Users Posts: 11,624 ✭✭✭✭meeeeh


    Reppohc wrote: »
    Attitudes like this is why I've never talked to people about it in real life.
    Omn asked a question which I answered from my life experience .

    Your attitude is sarky and ignorant but I assume its attempting to assuage the guilt you would otherwise feel if you were to contemplate that your drinking pre conceptions had effected your issue. So I forgive you.
    I responded to you because of your pompous attitude not because you were eating salad for six months.

    As for what affected my issues, well it wasn't drinking. My miscarriages happened when I was drinking very little before pregnancy and certainly less than before first pregnancy that went to term. Your jibes don't hurt me but there are people who are trying for children, doing nothing wrong and you are trying to make them feel guilty because they had a glass of wine with their lunch a month before.


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    #19
    simongurnick
    Registered Users Posts: 1,919 ✭✭✭simongurnick


    Reppohc wrote: »
    I gave up alcohol and smoking six months before we conceived and stayed off until the child was born. Its a no brainier in my opinion and should be talked about.

    You're the dad?


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    #20
    Reppohc
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 45 ✭Reppohc


    meeeeh wrote: »
    I responded to you because of your pompous attitude not because you were eating salad for six months.

    As for what affected my issues, well it wasn't drinking. My miscarriages happened when I was drinking very little before pregnancy and certainly less than before first pregnancy that went to term. Your jibes don't hurt me but there are people who are trying for children, doing nothing wrong and you are trying to make them feel guilty because they had a glass of wine with their lunch a month before.

    My pompous attitude ? Why because I didn't talk to my friends about being healthy before you conceive ? You wanna drink when pregnant you go ahead it don't affect me at all, I had no idea and could not care less about your personal circumstances but its is no harm for men to not drink before they conceive.


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    #21
    Reppohc
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 45 ✭Reppohc


    simongurnick wrote: »
    You're the dad?

    So I'm told.


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    #22
    meeeeh
    Registered Users Posts: 11,624 ✭✭✭✭meeeeh


    bilbot79 wrote: »
    Binge drinking by the male partner. I've been ttc and ivf for years and my samples were always superb but now I teetotal 3 months in advance. In all fairness it's unlikely my sperm are a problem but everyone has to contribute

    In case of men I would well believe that binge drinking is much more damaging than a drink daily. Still I'd like to see the study that came to the 15% finding. One binge a month will be different than a binge a week.


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    #23
    bilbot79
    Registered Users Posts: 1,989 ✭✭✭bilbot79


    Ah jays us peeps. Don't let this thread go the mutual jibes way


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    #24
    Reppohc
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 45 ✭Reppohc


    bilbot79 wrote: »
    Ah jays us peeps. Don't let this thread go the mutual jibes way

    I'm new here and was enjoying the candor of speaking to strangers as confidants but apparently I'm pompous.

    So I'm out.


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    #25
    The chan chan man
    Registered Users Posts: 824 ✭✭✭The chan chan man


    Reppohc wrote: »
    I'm new here and was enjoying the candor of speaking to strangers as confidants but apparently I'm pompous.

    So I'm out.

    Lol, christ almighty


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    #26
    meeeeh
    Registered Users Posts: 11,624 ✭✭✭✭meeeeh


    Reppohc wrote: »
    My pompous attitude ? Why because I didn't talk to my friends about being healthy before you conceive ? You wanna drink when pregnant you go ahead it don't affect me at all, I had no idea and could not care less about your personal circumstances but its is no harm for men to not drink before they conceive.

    You 'assume the clever ones would want to maximize their kids potential'. All you tell us with this sentence is that you consider yourself the clever one. A piece of advice, I don't think you mot drinking was the issue they wouldn't discuss it with you.

    As for having no idea, when you start making assumptions about others, having no idea doesn't cut it.


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    #27
    bilbot79
    Registered Users Posts: 1,989 ✭✭✭bilbot79


    Reppohc wrote: »
    I'm new here and was enjoying the candor of speaking to strangers as confidants but apparently I'm pompous.

    So I'm out.

    Come back.....!


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    #28
    the_syco
    Registered Users Posts: 37,297 ✭✭✭✭the_syco


    meeeeh wrote: »
    you are trying to make them feel guilty because they had a glass of wine with their lunch a month before.
    This sort of guilt sh|t pisses me off. Well done you!
    OMM 0000 wrote: »
    Was this normal amongst your male friends or do you think you are a bit rare for being so responsible?
    Most of the lads that I know, their drinking reduced when they moved in with their girlfriends. I think most of them stopped drinking after the 4 or 5 months of their wifes being pregnant, in case they needed to drive her to the hospital on short notice.


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    #29
    Akrasia
    Registered Users Posts: 22,348 ✭✭✭✭Akrasia


    Humans have been using alcohol as an aphrodisiac since before humans had anything remotely like the population explosion from the last 1k years.
    In that time we invented art, science, sport and basically everything else.

    I think it’s safe to assume that alcohol doesn’t harm human reproductive capacity


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    #30
    meeeeh
    Registered Users Posts: 11,624 ✭✭✭✭meeeeh


    Just to add, a bottle of wine is rarely finished in our house without being used for cooking a week later. Oh drinks only when going out and that's less than once per month. I drink a small glass of wine (about 125 cl) with dinner, a bit more if we go out for dinner. With that kind of consumption I wouldn't feel the need giving up anything nor do I believe it would make much difference.


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    #31
    Princess Calla
    Registered Users Posts: 5,842 ✭✭✭Princess Calla


    To be fair there are babies born that need to be weaned off heroin so in the scheme of things I don't think a few weekend pints are really an issue.

    I'm sure plenty of babies have been conceived at Christmas time, paddy's day etc.

    However if you are experiencing difficulties conceiving then maybe it's something to look at. That said I've never heard it being discussed in all my pregnancy stories where a couple admitted to going tee total before conception.

    I have heard girls saying they wouldn't let their partners drink after so many weeks encase they had to go in to hospital, which personally I thought was the equivalent of being a bridezilla but each to their own.


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