So what are you doing with yourself now?

Problem Of Motivation

I was at a month's mind recently and I was just after being fired from a job. I dreaded the inevitable questions such as "what are you doing with yourself now?" or the other "where are you now?"

For those who are closely related I don't think there's any point in trying soften the story or make excuses, as that can only make you look worse. It's best to just call a spade a spade. So when the uncle asked me how the new job was going, I looked him dead in the eye, kept my chin up, and answered "I've been sacked". With the way I said it, he thought I was joking! Then he realised that I wasn't.

There were a few others though who asked me throughout the evening who weren't that closely related to me. I'm usually smart about when and when not to lie, so seeing as I knew I'd be talking to lots of people throughout the evening, I didn't want there to be a contraction in my answers for when they'd all go talk to each other later. I decided to be honest with all.

But I'd like to know more about how to handle this question gracefully without having to lie, or without being the guy that everybody ends up feeling sorry for. I would've moved around the bar a bit more if I didn't anticipate this question being asked and over-heard. Having answered to a few, it's funny having to look at people and hear them say "ah look, do you know what, something else will show up" when you know they don't believe it. It's funny that it's only when you actually have a job that you have the confidence to ignore people asking about you, or to just make a joke.

I guess when a lot of people ask this question to folks in their 20s it's just because they can't think of anything else to say. But people should really try and ask other questions first as this one can make them look nosy. I remember a long time ago when I was once asked the question of "what are you doing with yourself" and I answered "as little as possible"! But at the moment that wouldn't be a joke!

Stevieluvsye

Did your sacking cause you to get wrinkles?

Purple Mountain

Answer them with: 'Nothing much, I've a fierce problem with motivation.'

OU812

I’m guessing you’re in your 20s.

Here’s the thing, as you get older, you care less about what people think about you. More people should be told that at a younger age.

Doesn’t matter if you got fired, sacked, etc. What matters is that you’re there to answer the question & Dave the next challenge.

I’ve been fired from so many jobs I can’t. Remember them all. Some were my fault, most were not.

Care less what people think.

Good luck with the job hunt. What’s for you won’t pass you.

Problem Of Motivation

Purple Mountain wrote: »

Answer them with: 'Nothing much, I've a fierce problem with motivation.'

Oh you're so funny.

gwalk

Tell them you struggle with smart phones

BDI

I just look them in the eye, then look down and sad and say “ I’m dirty.

If they act like they didn’t hear me, I just say “ durty yeah, what you up to yourself? Keeping busy?

Problem Of Motivation

OU812 wrote: »

Here’s the thing, as you get older, you care less about what people think about you. More people should be told that at a younger age.

It's not necessarily that I care what they think of me. You're reading into what I'm saying too much. It's that I want to be able to handle such a situation with grace... like an older person would!! You're avoiding the question.

Lewis_Benson

Drinking and watching YouTube videos.

Stevieluvsye

Problem Of Motivation wrote: »

It's not necessarily that I care what they think of me. You're reading into what I'm saying too much. It's that I want to be able to handle such a situation with grace... like an older person would!! You're avoiding the question.

You are pig ignorant to pretty much everyone who gives you advice here.

No wonder you were tin tacked

Bigbagofcans

"Keeping busy, enjoying life."
"Yourself?"

Problem Of Motivation

Stevieluvsye wrote: »

You are pig ignorant to pretty much everyone who gives you advice here.

No wonder you were tin tacked

That wasn't advice. Now get off your high horse.

gozunda

People can ask questions - doesn't mean you have to answer them. Tbh I have a strong dislike for those who attempt to extract someones life story or whatever by asking forty questions. That is an interogation and not a conversation. Some people dont seem to know the difference tbh.

Tell them you are writing a biography and you will put them at the top of the list for an advance fee copy ...

Problem Of Motivation

Bigbagofcans wrote: »

"Keeping busy, enjoying life."
"Yourself?"

Yes, and the chances are that they would know that that's your way of saying that you don't want to answer.

I bow down to you.

Greentopia

Hey look on the bright side. At least you don't have to deal with 8 different bosses and TPS reports any more.

auspicious

gozunda wrote: »

People can ask questions - doesn't mean you have to answer them. Tbh I have a strong dislike for those who attempt to extract someones life story or whatever by asking forty questions. That is an interogation and not a conversation. Some people dont seem to know the difference tbh.

Tell them you are writing a biography and you will put them at the top of the list for an advance fee copy ...

For once I agree with you. I cannot stand the question ' so what do you do?'. It's extremely one dimensional.


Tbh

candycock

I get asked the same question to, so I just tell them the truth, I get up whenever I feel i can, watch sky docs, eat ****e food, smoke weed n go to bed whenever,sad existent to some but pure bliss to me.

Tammy!

BDI wrote: »

I just look them in the eye, then look down and sad and say “ I’m dirty.

If they act like they didn’t hear me, I just say “ durty yeah, what you up to yourself? Keeping busy?

:pac: lol

Ah op

It's stupid to worry about things like that. Most people don't care or give a **** what you're doing and I don't mean that in a bad way but in general as it doesn't impact their life. It's just a conversation piece. You just say 'yep I'm doing grand' but obviously if you feel you need to chat with someone...then chat with someone you're close to or a family member.

Problem Of Motivation

Tammy! wrote: »

:pac: lol

Ah op

It's stupid to worry about things like that. Most people don't care or give a **** what you're doing and I don't mean that in a bad way but in general as it doesn't impact their life. It's just a conversation piece. You just say 'yep I'm doing grand' but obviously if you feel you need to chat with someone...then chat with someone you're close to or a family member.

That is a complete load of nonsense. When people think of you (whether it's for 5 seconds or 5 hours) they form their opinion of you.

Problem Of Motivation

candycock wrote: »

I get asked the same question to, so I just tell them the truth, I get up whenever I feel i can, watch sky docs, eat ****e food, smoke weed n go to bed whenever,sad existent to some but pure bliss to me.

No masturbating?

KilOit

*20's me OMG what will people think?*
*mid 30's me, couldn't give a *****

You won't learn this till you get older OP i'm afraid

Tammy!

Problem Of Motivation wrote: »

That is a complete load of nonsense. When people think of you (whether it's for 5 seconds or 5 hours) they form their opinion of you.

And? What has that got to do with what I said?

What I was saying if you read right was that peoples opinion means little as we all have our own things and they don't see you as the center of life and are really only asking questions to you at events or wherever as a normal social conversation piece??

One eyed Jack

Problem Of Motivation wrote: »

It's not necessarily that I care what they think of me. You're reading into what I'm saying too much. It's that I want to be able to handle such a situation with grace... like an older person would!! You're avoiding the question.

Why can you not just handle the question the way you see all these other people handling it then? Or is it that you imagine older people generally handle the question with grace in a way that you can’t, somehow?

Chances are I’ll be accused too of reading into your problem too much but honestly, IMO you’re reading into the question too much in the first place. Some people will genuinely ask out of interest, some people won’t actually care at all, you should be able to suss out which is which and answer accordingly. You don’t have to be smart about it or lie about it or anything else. People aren’t out to get you or anything, and many more people are supportive if they’re aware of someone going through a hard time, as opposed to gossiping about you behind your back.

You wouldn’t answer the question the same way I’d answer it for example, I’m usually just given to saying when asked what am I doing with myself, “fcukall really”. And that’s it. No drama or anything else. On one occasion when I was out drinking, a girl asked me what did I do for a living, and it wasn’t that I thought she was being nosy or anything but I just don’t like talking about work anyway, so I jokingly replied “I get paid silly amounts of money for doing fcukall”. If you didn’t know my form, it came off as way too smug I was told later by a friend. That wasn’t the way it was intended but people are going to interpret things differently, it’s not something you should dwell on too much.

Baron Kurtz

Hey, leave POM alone! He's alright.

Just tell them you're taking a bit of time out and have a few things in the pipeline. Don't worry about what they think, but get your s&€t in order as soon as you can, just for your own peace of mind. Those f**ks don't matter.

Tammy!

Honest to God, sometimes I read questions on here from ah'ers like this and wonder if they are serious about basic interactions in life!!!

I dont mean that as any kind of insult to you op, it's good to ask but for for me, this is a standard social interaction. There is no big deal and like I said earlier, most people don't really care as long as they've got bread on their own table! And that's not an insult to you op, and it doesn't mean those people are being selfish, people are just getting with things as you are!!!

El Weirdo

This thread is way less light-hearted than I thought it'd be when I opened it

Liamalone

I'm a working boss

ardinn

Always tell the truth - or at least dont lie.

In this case, the truth would be.. " it didnt work out in (insert co. name here) and Im considering a few options at the moment.

Sorted.

gozunda

ardinn wrote: »

Always tell the truth - or at least dont lie.

In this case, the truth would be.. " it didnt work out in (insert co. name here) and Im considering a few options at the moment.

Sorted.

Or politly tell them to fek off and mind their own business?

Nosey cnuts ...

Edgware

Nothing at the moment but your sister is an option I'm considering

Bobby Baccala

I thought this was a "where are you in life now" sort of thread, was looking forward to reading about people's different and interesting jobs. Was greeted by an opening post that looked like it was written by a 6 year old with Asperger's or something.

Grow up OP and get a grip, can't tell if you're a really poor troll or just a weirdo

Problem Of Motivation

Tammy! wrote: »

What I was saying if you read right was that peoples opinion means little as we all have our own things and they don't see you as the center of life and are really only asking questions to you at events or wherever as a normal social conversation piece??

Well I already knew that didn't I.

Problem Of Motivation

gozunda wrote: »

Or politly tell them to fek off and mind their own business?

How though? That's what the thread is all about!

riffmongous

gozunda wrote: »

People can ask questions - doesn't mean you have to answer them. Tbh I have a strong dislike for those who attempt to extract someones life story or whatever by asking forty questions. That is an interogation and not a conversation. Some people dont seem to know the difference tbh.

Tell them you are writing a biography and you will put them at the top of the list for an advance fee copy ...

Hm it depends.. I notice i do it sometimes but it's just for the sake of conversation because the other person doesn't ask back.. but yeah other people do it really as interrogation out of nosiness

riffmongous

Problem Of Motivation wrote: »

How though? That's what the thread is all about!

Just say ' ah you know yourself' and ask them back.. works for most situations when you don't want to say something

Hoboo

what are you doing with yourself now?"…

Everyones so hung up on identity being attached to their job, surely you have hobbies or interests that you would consider closer to your identity than your job? So tell them about what you've been getting up to, not what job you do. I'd have far more interest in hearing about someones visit to cobh than hearing about the world of logistics.

El_Duderino 09

Op, seems you want to tell the truth to answer the question, but you’ve just been fired/lost another job so your answer is embarrassing to you. From your answers you don’t want to lie, you don’t want to not care what people think of you,

So the solution seems simple. Get another job and when people ask what you’re working at, tell them about that. Or tell them about something interesting you’ve done or are planning to do.

It doesn’t have to be a deep and meaningful conversation. It’s more of an ice breaker question and establishing some basic facts about you to know more about you.

stratowide

If I'm having a cheerful and good day I usually just say "Oh this and that you know yourself".
While giving an exaggerated wink at the same time.
Usually shuts them up.

If on the other hand I'm not so cheerful it goes along the lines of "Yeah I'm great kids are fine too.Missus is all good too.Thanks for asking"
Usually shuts them up too.

Church on Tuesday

This is why I don't do family events. Can't be dealing with that kind of nonsense.

As long as everyone is fairly happy and healthy after that I don't give a toss.

Problem Of Motivation

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

This is why I don't do family events. Can't be dealing with that kind of nonsense.

As long as everyone is fairly happy and healthy after that I don't give a toss.

I really had a good mind to not bother going along that evening. I always have this idea that it's best in the long run not to chicken out. That mightn't always be true.

El_Duderino 09

Problem Of Motivation wrote: »

I really had a good mind to not bother going along that evening. I always have this idea that it's best in the long run not to chicken out. That mightn't always be true.

What do you actually want to know?

Redneck Reject

Problem Of Motivation wrote: »

How though? That's what the thread is all about!

You could always take on a facial expression of a cross between Bundy and Manson. And then say, "Well I'll tell ya, at the moment I'm running out of room to hide the bodies". Then end it with a short manic giggle, see how you get on,heh.