Breaking news to someone that their history is a lie.

OU812

OP has asked me to delete this but I think the conversation generated is very interesting, so to move it to a more hypothetical position.
Almost every week now we hear of some family secret uncovered by a DNA test. Some of it is devastating, some of it a relief.

Does uncovering a secret from DNA have to be shared with the relevant people or should it be kept?

Hermy

That's a tough one.

All I can think of is would it be possible to bring up the subject of DNA generally and see where that goes. Maybe there are examples from blogs you've read that you could tell him about. That general conversation might give you a sense of how he feels on the matter but also provide you with an avenue to discussing your own situation.

Johnboy1951

Why would you tell him?

You seem to be concentrating on reasons NOT to tell him, what are your reasons TO tell him?

Based on what you have posted it is likely he would not believe it and then you and he have a problem for whatever time he has left.

pinkypinky

Good advice from Hermy there.

But as moderator, I want to point out that none of us are (openly) therapists and we can't give qualified advice here.

You know the man.
Think about what he will gain or lose from it.

OU812

pinkypinky wrote: »

Good advice from Hermy there.

But as moderator, I want to point out that none of us are (openly) therapists and we can't give qualified advice here.

You know the man.
Think about what he will gain or lose from it.

Well the reason to tell him and what he’ll gain from it is he can perhaps let the grudge go and be more at peace with himself.

Of course there’s always the likelihood that it will cause a bigger issue for him.

Ok thanks folks.

Could someone delete this thread please?

banie01

Content snipped to protect the OP's original query.

The summary of Banie01's helpful post was "don't open the can of worms, discuss it later when the most relevant person is dead".

mrslancaster

Content also snipped here for the same reason as above.

If the DNA revelation brings up a very close relative, does that make it more important to reveal the news?