Bad time to break up

GRACKEA

I know there's never a good time, but my relationship hasn't been the happiest place lately. My partner tends to take his stress out on me, and it's wearing my down.

I understand my role as confidante and comforter, but I've spoken up about this and he acknowledged and apologised.

I don't see changes at all so far and I find myself wanting to spend less and less time with him. I think my mind is made up.

To add to the dilemma, one of his relatives is quite sick possibly terminal. I feel guilty leaving him at all but even more so at such a tough time.

Is there a considerate way to do this, or should I wait it out?

Ursus Horribilis

Does your partner have anybody else who he can turn to? I can understand why you're hesitant but there'll always be something to stop you. It's too near his birthday/Christmas/Valentine's Day/our anniversary etc. etc. If you decide to wait around until this relative dies, how long afterwards will you continue with the relationship? Long enough to take the bad look off it? Long enough to make him think you only hung around because you felt guilty? If you've mentally checked out of this relationship and don't want to continue with it. it'd be better to end it soon. It'd not be fair on him either to be with someone who has one eye on the door.

str8talkingguy

Bite the bullet and do it right away,better for both of you.

GRACKEA

They're exactly the responses I was afraid of but I knew myself. My bubbling resentment would probably be doing more harm to him at this time than my staying would do good. Thanks guys.

leggo

I agree with the responses above. But just to add if all of this is solely down to stress: if you do break up, make sure you’re doing it forever and not just reactive. Like if you were to see him on social media six months from now happy and chilled and more of the guy you remember, would you miss him and start to get thinking?

Make sure you’re at peace that this is a forever move and you won’t go back, otherwise it does become cruel and like you checked out when things got tough. I once went through a family death when I was with someone, it put a strain on the relationship I was in and the ex would’ve checked in an out at her leisure, then later she came back cap in hand and I didn’t want to hear a word because I never forgot that treatment.

joeguevara

You will be damned if you do or dont. If you leave now you are labeled as so hearltless that you left your partner when they needed you most. If youvwait they realise that they were living a lie.

You are not responsible for anyone elses happiness. Maybe ensure they have a confidante but if you are sure its over then you owe it to yourself to leave.

Life is too short to waste it.

wiggle16

I left my ex on Valentines Day. I hadn't planned it like that but I can tell you it wouldn't have hurt him any less if I'd done it a week later.

As has been said, there will always be a reason not to break up at a particular time. You need to do it when it's right for you - it will never be right for him and he will never think to himself "well I'm so glad she didn't do it around Christmas/Valentines Day/so-and-so's funeral."

Do what's right for you.