Marriage over- soon to be homeless

LegacyUser

Hi,

I need a little advice from anybody who was in a similar situation as myself.

Unfortunately my marriage has come to an end and I have moved out. For the meantime I'm staying with friends and family but I won't be able to do this for very long. I can't afford a place of my own as I'm still paying my bills at home (circa 80% of my monthly salary) so as my wife and kids don't end up homeless. My wife is a stay at home mam and I'm on a relatively low salary.

I'm in quite a pickle. I can't house share as I need space to have my kids whenever I can but at the moment I'm barely scrapping by as it is. I fear I'm going to end up on the streets and then lose my job and then it'll all snowball from there.

I realise I'm in an emotional state and I can't think as rationally as I would normally do so I can't see any solutions. I could apply for social housing but I'll be on the bottom of a list for years as I'm sure there are families worse off than me. HAP would only give me €500 per month and I wouldn't be able to make up the rest the way rental prices are let alone a deposit.

Any and all help/advice would be greatly appreciated

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Soon2Bhomeless wrote: »

Hi,

I need a little advice from anybody who was in a similar situation as myself.

Unfortunately my marriage has come to an end and I have moved out. For the meantime I'm staying with friends and family but I won't be able to do this for very long. I can't afford a place of my own as I'm still paying my bills at home (circa 80% of my monthly salary) so as my wife and kids don't end up homeless. My wife is a stay at home mam and I'm on a relatively low salary.

I'm in quite a pickle. I can't house share as I need space to have my kids whenever I can but at the moment I'm barely scrapping by as it is. I fear I'm going to end up on the streets and then lose my job and then it'll all snowball from there.

I realise I'm in an emotional state and I can't think as rationally as I would normally do so I can't see any solutions. I could apply for social housing but I'll be on the bottom of a list for years as I'm sure there are families worse off than me. HAP would only give me €500 per month and I wouldn't be able to make up the rest the way rental prices are let alone a deposit.

Any and all help/advice would be greatly appreciated

Stop paying your wife's bills and get yourself a place, if she can't afford accommodation then take full custody and have the children live with you.

Rubberchikken

talk to a professional.
i dont know if you have to continue paying your wifes bills but your children need to be looked after.

i realise your head must be swimming with all your concerns at the moment but you need to get honest facts from someone who knows.

BDI

Get a houseshare. You can’t have your kids stay over. You can still spend quality time with them.

Quality time is the important part not that they sleep in the same house as you. Things can change in the future for the better.

IndigoStar

Really sorry this has happened to you. You want to keep a roof over their heads but your wife needs to start contributing financially. She's a single parent now and will need an income for herself.

mcgucc22

Why do you have to move out?

XsApollo

I was gonna post the same thing.
Why are you moving out.
Sleep in a different room.
You can be seperated and stay in the same house.
Stay there till you get yourself sorted.

lawred2

Your wife needs to get a job.

Don't think she can enjoy being a 'stay at home' Mum much longer.

Why are you making yourself homeless?

Why don't you spend your time with the kids in your home house?
Maybe your wife could spend a night or two somewhere else?
Then you can get a houseshare, pay for everything & spend time with your kids.

Spanish Eyes

As others have said, why did you move out given that you had no means of securing alternative accommodation for yourself?

Get back in to the house and sleep on the sofa or something. There is no rule that says you have to live separately to be separated.

I understand there may be other reasons. But honestly, paying 80% of the bills in the family home with nothing for yourself is just not on.

FLAC will help if you cannot afford your own private legal advice.

tony1980

Can’t a judge make a Property adjustment order if she applies for it if she doesn’t want him living there though?

It makes sense to stay there though, especially if you can’t afford somewhere that the kids can stay over in.

Markcheese

First try to look afteryourself, at the moment you need somewhere to live, if it's going to have to be a house share to start so be it...
How old are the kids? That's going to affect Wether your ex can get out to work, (although she could work evenings, depending on your shifts)..
Family mediation is a good start to thrash out the basics..
Good luck