Five Questions for the Irish from foreign person living and working in ireland

Ecce No Homo

1. Why are macademia nuts so expensive here?


2. Why will men wear boxers or keyholes in the shower after sports? I joined a football club few years ago and all the lads are wearing boxers or keyholes. Eventually I have become self conscious and tucked away my johnson too.



3. Why do men sit on a barstool all day and stare blankly at far wall as they "nurse a pint of porter"?



4. Why I don't feel safe on the streets at night? I have travelled all of the greatest cities in the world and only in Ireland am I fearful of young men stalking the streets in tracksuits with very threatening stance, arms pushed out to make shoulders look bigger and more threatening. One of these guys made remark on my rucksack and punched me first week I was in country. Actually not just Ireland, also venezula and maybe a little in the states.


5. Why so many confectionary? First thing I see in shop is one thousand chocolate bars. How many varieties you need for satisfaction of irish complexion? Half of you are very pasty and white and need less of twix and mars and more of purple sprouting brocalli, hot smoked salmon, and actually to wear less clothes and be more relaxed and do the deed more often, you are very uptight people.



Lastly I want to say I love this country and am very appreciative to be here and I work and pay my taxes and rent to landlord and am not a drain on society and plan to return home in five years.

Leg End Reject

What nationality are you pretending to be?

Dublinandy2

3/10 for your trolling effort for this and other posts.

Must try harder!

bassy

a mars a day helps you work rest and play.

whisky_galore

1. We don't grow them. They're imported.

2. I haven't noticed that, then again I don't go staring at other guys' lunchpacks. It's not an area that interests me.

3. It's a form of meditation.

4. Try living somewhere other than Dublin.

5. Welcome to decadent capitalist West. Have nice day.

Roger Hassenforder

This thing with the jox again.
& wasnt he the chap offering "docking" sessions?

SuperSean11

Ecce No Homo wrote: »

1. Why are macademia nuts so expensive here?


2. Why will men wear boxers or keyholes in the shower after sports? I joined a football club few years ago and all the lads are wearing boxers or keyholes. Eventually I have become self conscious and tucked away my johnson too.



3. Why do men sit on a barstool all day and stare blankly at far wall as they "nurse a pint of porter"?



4. Why I don't feel safe on the streets at night? I have travelled all of the greatest cities in the world and only in Ireland am I fearful of young men stalking the streets in tracksuits with very threatening stance, arms pushed out to make shoulders look bigger and more threatening. One of these guys made remark on my rucksack and punched me first week I was in country. Actually not just Ireland, also venezula and maybe a little in the states.


5. Why so many confectionary? First thing I see in shop is one thousand chocolate bars. How many varieties you need for satisfaction of irish complexion? Half of you are very pasty and white and need less of twix and mars and more of purple sprouting brocalli, hot smoked salmon, and actually to wear less clothes and be more relaxed and do the deed more often, you are very uptight people.



Lastly I want to say I love this country and am very appreciative to be here and I work and pay my taxes and rent to landlord and am not a drain on society and plan to return home in five years.

1. Have to be imported

2. Small penises

3. Wondering when Sherger will come home.

4. Punch able face.

5. I prefer kinder buenos.

You’re most welcome here

ILoveYourVibes

Treason Season wrote: »

5. Everyone likes chocolate.

Not like here. 700 types of chocolate and all in the shops at once?

I am pretty sure its not that different.

Signore Fancy Pants

Dublinandy2 wrote: »

3/10 for your trolling effort for this and other posts.

Must try harder!

3?

Thats very generous. Id say 0/10.

MonkieSocks

Two Men, Four Feet walking down O'Connell Street

Shouting out "Pigs Feet, 2n6 a Pair

the_syco

Ecce No Homo wrote: »

2. Why will men wear boxers or keyholes in the shower after sports? I joined a football club few years ago and all the lads are wearing boxers or keyholes. Eventually I have become self conscious and tucked away my johnson too.

Catholic guilt.

Ecce No Homo wrote: »

3. Why do men sit on a barstool all day and stare blankly at far wall as they "nurse a pint of porter"?

Because drinking is a sin for catholics.

Ecce No Homo wrote: »

1. Why are macademia nuts so expensive here?

The catholic priets have a nut tax on them.

Ecce No Homo wrote: »

4. Why I don't feel safe on the streets at night? I have travelled all of the greatest cities in the world and only in Ireland am I fearful of young men stalking the streets in tracksuits with very threatening stance, arms pushed out to make shoulders look bigger and more threatening. One of these guys made remark on my rucksack and punched me first week I was in country. Actually not just Ireland, also venezula and maybe a little in the states.

It's because the catholics didn't beat the crap out of them when they were smaller.

Ecce No Homo wrote: »

5. Why so many confectionary?

The catholics used to forbid sweets. When they ban was lifted, everyone demanded that all shops stock at least 20 different types.

Ecce No Homo wrote: »

plan to return home in five years.

Everyone says that, but you'll stay here.

fatknacker

What are keyholes?

Roger Hassenforder

fatknacker wrote: »

What are keyholes?

Some kind of jox?
OP seems to have quite the penchant for them.

kneemos

whisky_galore wrote: »

1. We don't grow them. They're imported.

We don't grow peanuts,yet they're dirt cheap.
Macadamia's are up themselves I reackon.