Dating a guy who uses drugs recreationally

LegacyUser

I've started dating a guy who I'm starting to really like. It's very early stages (two weeks), but I haven't clicked with someone like this in a very long time.

I think we've very different personalities, but in a good way. I come across as conservative and less of a risk taker, I plan everything to a T. He, on the other hand, is quite adventurous - very casual approach to life in general (I like routine), has tattoos (I have none and never would) and more importantly he takes drugs casually (I never have).

All of these things sound like we shouldn't be a match, but it feels like the saying "opposites attract" holds true here. The only real concern I have is the drug using. He told me very casually about it, that when he was out with mates he was offered a variety of drugs which he then took. The fact that he was so open about it makes me think that it really is just occasional usage, but in the back of my mind I'm thinking whether he is the right guy for me.

I don't do drugs, and none of my friends do either so this is all alien to me. Drug usage seems quite prevalent these days, so this may not be as big an issue as my mind is making out. Should I have reasons to be concerned or am I overthinking things, as I tend to do?

Dial Hard

Only you can answer that question but any type of drug use at all is a hard no from me. The fact that it seems to be a range of drugs would also be more concerning to me than occasional use of, say,weed only.

But you'll get other people in saying it's nothing to worry about and they've been doing it for years with no issues and that alcohol is as bad but nobody thinks of it that way cause it's legal but, again, really the only opinion that matters here is your own.

splinter65

I think you want someone to guarantee you that his drug use will not escalate and cause damage to your relationship.
No one can do that for you.
Also, “Casual” “recreational” drug use causes as much misery and violence and death in the background before that line of coke reaches your boyfriend as serious heroin or meth addiction.
Every single person who dabbled in drugs last night contributed to the pain and the poverty and suffering.

AulWan

I think that the fact that you are here asking about it, means that it bothers you more then you are probably willing to admit to yourself precisely because you haven't liked someone so much in so long. So you're questioning whether you can make an exception in his case.

You only know him two weeks, but if it bothers you already I can only see it becoming a major bone of contention further down the line.

zapper55

I've dated guys that said they did drugs, a bit of weed here and there. But it normally escalates to harder drugs on holidays and big nights outs.

Even if it remains casual they have to meet with drug dealers to acquire the stuff. Not the kind of people I'd want to be in the company of.

splinter65

zapper55 wrote: »

I've dated guys that said they did drugs, a bit of weed here and there. But it normally escalates to harder drugs on holidays and big nights outs.

Even if it remains casual they have to meet with drug dealers to acquire the stuff. Not the kind of people I'd want to be in the company of.

They also inevitably start having to borrow money, usually along the lines of “can you loan me €150 for the rent? The service on the Audi wiped me out...I’ll give it back to you on Friday when I get paid”.

LegacyUser

Dial Hard wrote: »

Only you can answer that question but any type of drug use at all is a hard no from me. The fact that it seems to be a range of drugs would also be more concerning to me than occasional use of, say,weed only.

But you'll get other people in saying it's nothing to worry about and they've been doing it for years with no issues and that alcohol is as bad but nobody thinks of it that way cause it's legal but, again, really the only opinion that matters here is your own.

Thanks, I understand what you're saying. I was taken aback when he said it, but really because I'm not in those kinds of circles. I've been to certain nightclubs where everyone was going around with glasses of water and long cues to the toilets where everyone was taking drugs, so I'm aware how common it is. I think if I knew people who actually took drugs I would have a greater understanding of what I'm dealing with.

He told me he never buys drugs directly, but if he was at a party and someone offered him some he might take it. I'm not concerned that he has a crippling problem, but more of the risks associated with taking them like getting a bad batch or whatever.

I'm one of the few people who have never even touched a drug so I'm not in the best position to judge anyone else. I do take alcohol and I wouldn't expect any teetotallers to judge me for it.

LegacyUser

There are loads of funny, intelligent, good men who don't take drugs so why on earth would you sell yourself short by continuing with this type of person?

Likewise with any of the many men with alcohol, gambling or anger problems; move on, and save yourself misery down the road.

blairbear

OP, I dated a guy who "did drugs recreationally". We are both doctors (he was more junior than I am) so when I found out a couple of months into the relationship, my concerns ranged from personal, for his own well being, clinical as I knew exactly how much damage drugs like weed and cocaine can do, and professional (did I have an obligation to tell our employer about his drug use?)

It caused big problems for us. He was amazing at rationalizing his consumption of drugs. "We give patients far more potentially harmful drugs every day.... I know it take X amount of hours to leave your system so I will never take it too soon before work... Alcohol is a far worse drug etc". I always ended up being pegged as the "dry sh*te", worrying hugely about him when he was on nights out, and feeling like his mother rather than his girlfriend.

It culminated in having to report him at work as I knew for a fact he was under some sort of influence and utterly unfit to do his job. Our whole relationship had been punctuated by his lies and excuses, and this was a man who "just" used drugs on a Friday/Saturday night.

This is NOT the norm. Don't accept it. It is a dealbreaker for me (as is excessive drinking). Set personal boundaries and standards and don't compromise on issues like this, because it's a big one.

RhubarbCrumble

It would be a no no for me if I'm honest.

Dial Hard

notadruguser wrote: »

I'm one of the few people who have never even touched a drug so I'm not in the best position to judge anyone else. I do take alcohol and I wouldn't expect any teetotallers to judge me for it.

I think you're far more in the norm than you realise. Apart from one toke on a spliff when I was in secondary school (that made me sick as a dog), I have never taken a drug. All of my family are the same, as are my friends, bar one who went through a coke phase in our early 20s and whom I chose not to see during that time as it turned her into such a dickhead.

I think the kind of drug use this guy participates in is actually far less common than recreational drug users think. They tend to think "Everyone does it" because everyone in *their* circle does, but in my experience, it's nowhere near as commonplace as they seem to think.

bad2dabone

I wouldn't be interested in carrying on that relationship personally. I'm of the opinion that once you reach adulthood you put the recreational drug taking days behind you.

blairbear

Just to add, OP, I have had to call the parents of "recreational drug users" to tell them their child is dead after "just taking drugs at a party". (I know that plenty would think I am overplaying the dangers of occasional illicit drug use, but that does not bother me.)

punisher5112

Why anyone would get involved knowing someone that's a drug user is beyond me¿¿¿


Drugs ruin so many lives and anyone with anything to do with them should be ashamed.

punisher5112

Seen in the news there 2 young fellas died recently a few days or so apart after taking drugs.

Collie D

bad2dabone wrote: »

I wouldn't be interested in carrying on that relationship personally. I'm of the opinion that once you reach adulthood you put the recreational drug taking days behind you.

Would probably go along with this. How old is he, OP?

As someone said already only you can decide whether you’re all right with it. The fact you’re asking here makes me think you’re not.

Mecrab

I wonder how many people saying they wouldn't have anything to do with someone who takes drugs goes out and drinks alcohol (a drug) every weekend.

AulWan

Dial Hard wrote: »

I think you're far more in the norm than you realise. Apart from one toke on a spliff when I was in secondary school (that made me sick as a dog), I have never taken a drug.

Likewise.

Lotus Flower

This would be a no from me also, I don't like being around people who are on something, not to mention the disastrous consequences drugs can have on mental and physical health

Dial Hard

blairbear wrote: »

Just to add, OP, I have had to call the parents of "recreational drug users" to tell them their child is dead after "just taking drugs at a party". (I know that plenty would think I am overplaying the dangers of occasional illicit drug use, but that does not bother me.)

Sure just look at the news over the past week or so.

strandroad

I find it quite interesting that he tells you about his drug use in the first two weeks you're dating. Seeing how the majority of people do not use drugs, and you specifically seem more straight laced than most, it's quite an unusual topic to bring up in just a handful of dates when dating couples are typically just learning about their names, jobs and food tastes. Can you even believe that his drug use is as occasional as he claims?

strandroad

strandroad wrote: »

I find it quite interesting that he tells you about his drug use in the first two weeks you're dating. Seeing how the majority of people do not use drugs, and you specifically seem more straight laced than most, it's quite an unusual topic to bring up in just a handful of dates when dating couples are typically just learning about their names, jobs and food tastes. Can you even believe that his drug use is as occasional as he claims?

Or maybe it’s just a fairly innocuous thing the odd time so he thought he’d mention it.

You’d swear the lad was main-lining heroin directly into his eyeballs the way some are talking here.

Sonny noggs

strandroad wrote: »

and you specifically seem more straight laced than most

Not sure about that, I think this is the norm rather than the exception.

babynice

When I started going out with my ex he told me that he occasionally smoked weed. I thought that was no big deal loads of people do it. As time went on I discovered that he took more than weed. On nights out he would cocaine, MDMA and god knows what else.

He convinced me that it was no big deal and it was just recreational on nights out. More than once it happened that the drugs didn’t agree with him. He would literally lose his mind, and his temper. It also happened more than once that he got physical with me. He never actually hit me but he pushed me against the wall, held me down caught me by the throat.

Apart from this he had temper but was generally a nice guy. We broke up for other reasons but it’s something to think about.

fishy_fishy

Mecrab wrote: »

I wonder how many people saying they wouldn't have anything to do with someone who takes drugs goes out and drinks alcohol (a drug) every weekend.

Alcohol is legal and quality controlled. Its effects are known, its strength is known, and there's no need to buy it illegally off dealers. So having a few drinks is a completely different ball game to a line of coke, or a joint, or a pill.

OP, opposites don't work long term. This is lust. This will pass and you'll be stuck with a lazy and immature guy who blows his cash on having a good weekend and will make you out to be a nag or dry or whatever you like for wanting him to act like a responsible adult.

LegacyUser

bogaraghaidh wrote: »

There are loads of funny, intelligent, good men who don't take drugs so why on earth would you sell yourself short by continuing with this type of person?

I struggle with dating and find it very difficult to find a guy who I really connect with. I've been single for years. He is a funny, intelligent and good man, but happens to have, what many would say, flaw.

blairbear wrote: »

It culminated in having to report him at work as I knew for a fact he was under some sort of influence and utterly unfit to do his job. Our whole relationship had been punctuated by his lies and excuses, and this was a man who "just" used drugs on a Friday/Saturday night.

Lying is never acceptable, but I'm under no impression that he is lying about anything at the moment, especially after being so open about his drug usage. Your scenario is definitely a severe case where it was affecting his work, but this guy mentioned taking some drugs at a party a couple of months ago, not daily where it's his job is at risk. If he told me that he drank alcohol, no one would immediately assume he has an addiction and is going into work under the influence.

Collie D wrote: »

Would probably go along with this. How old is he, OP?

As someone said already only you can decide whether you’re all right with it. The fact you’re asking here makes me think you’re not.

He is 34. I'd prefer if he didn't do drugs, but I can't say it's a deal breaker because I don't know much about recreational drug taking. I only ever hear the extreme cases which end up in the news. If I was to base my judgements like that on every activity, I would never drink alcohol again!

strandroad wrote: »

I find it quite interesting that he tells you about his drug use in the first two weeks you're dating. Seeing how the majority of people do not use drugs, and you specifically seem more straight laced than most, it's quite an unusual topic to bring up in just a handful of dates when dating couples are typically just learning about their names, jobs and food tastes. Can you even believe that his drug use is as occasional as he claims?

That's why I think it's true. If he regularly did drugs, I don't think he'd mention it at all.

Batrachotox wrote: »

Or maybe it’s just a fairly innocuous thing the odd time so he thought he’d mention it.

You’d swear the lad was main-lining heroin directly into his eyeballs the way some are talking here.

That's what I thought. I think he grew up with it around him and probably knows of people who have drug problems, but sees taking drugs once a month, or less, not as an issue. Maybe that's a bad thing, I don't know!

babynice wrote: »

He convinced me that it was no big deal and it was just recreational on nights out. More than once it happened that the drugs didn’t agree with him. He would literally lose his mind, and his temper. It also happened more than once that he got physical with me. He never actually hit me but he pushed me against the wall, held me down caught me by the throat.

Sorry, but if anything like that happened I'd be gone very quickly. But that can happen with anyone, drugs or no drugs. Maybe they increased his temper, but I've seen it with alcohol too.

fishy_fishy wrote: »

OP, opposites don't work long term. This is lust. This will pass and you'll be stuck with a lazy and immature guy who blows his cash on having a good weekend and will make you out to be a nag or dry or whatever you like for wanting him to act like a responsible adult.

You are making a lot of assumptions here. He's not lazy (actually hard working), he's not immature (unless you think going to a party as immature) and isn't blowing his cash (as far as I'm aware, but neither of us can know that now!).

I don't know why you think opposites don't work when I can tell you of many relationships where it does work! Maybe it hasn't worked for you, but that doesn't mean it doesn't work for everyone.

I'm not trying to defend any drug taking, but going at it with an objective standpoint. It's hard to get a true picture of the situation without really knowing him. One of you could be his close friend and would vouch for him for all I know!

If you had a friend / relative who occasionally took drugs at parties, would you advise any potential girlfriends to stay away?

Strabanimal

People who don't live in cities and/or are in the lets say 'older' age bracket will have a much different opinion on this than the opposite.

LegacyUser

For me, OP, it would be a hard no. Drugs of any kind, casual or otherwise, I have no interest in having someone like that in my life. Ditto for heavy drinking/partying every weekend/gambling/rage issues etc.

I don't know, maybe it's because I'm pushing on in age, but drama or potential drama of any kind is of no interest to me. Someone not on my wavelength is of no interest to me. Personally, I'd be looking for someone who felt as I did about the above issues.

I don't think anyone can really advise you here as it's different for everyone. Only you know what is or isn't acceptable for you. If you're okay with the drugs then continue to see him, if you're not then pull the plug.

LegacyUser

At the end of the day you're never going to want to be around someone who is high on something while you're not.

Being around people on drugs is a right pain when you're not doing them.

Dial Hard

You're making an imperial sh!t-tonne of excuses for someone you don't even know. But hey, if you're that ok with it, why are you even posting here? He's cool, you're cool, everything's cool, right?

notadruguser wrote: »

If you had a friend / relative who occasionally took drugs at parties, would you advise any potential girlfriends to stay away?

100%. Boyfriends or girlfriends.

Ursus Horribilis

Either you are cool with it or you're trying to convince yourself that you're cool with it. I'm not sure why you looked for advice because when people said they'd not want to date a drugs user, you rushed to defend him. If you want to date him, that's fine. It's not going to make any difference to our lives whether you go out with him or not. I guess all you can do is continue to see him and decide for yourself whether his drugs usage is acceptable to you.

LegacyUser

Dial Hard wrote: »

You're making an imperial sh!t-tonne of excuses for someone you don't even know. But hey, if you're that ok with it, why are you even posting here? He's cool, you're cool, everything's cool, right?



100%. Boyfriends or girlfriends.

Ursus Horribilis wrote: »

Either you are cool with it or you're trying to convince yourself that you're cool with it. I'm not sure why you looked for advice because when people said they'd not want to date a drugs user, you rushed to defend him. If you want to date him, that's fine. It's not going to make any difference to our lives whether you go out with him or not. I guess all you can do is continue to see him and decide for yourself whether his drugs usage is acceptable to you.

I encounter this every time I ask for advice here and it's really frustrating. Could what I'm saying be wrong? Totally. But if I don't raise these points and have people help me decide one way or the other, I'll just go on thinking them without any sound logic behind it.

Not that this is an argument, or anything of the sort, but have you ever been on a debating team? You have to bring all points to the table to be able to take an objective view of something. If I just accepted everything you said without tabling the other side, what's the point?

In all honesty, if you told me that I should continue dating him and see no issue with it, I would be trying to raise the points you've made in an effort to get my head around all the possibilities and what I'm truly dealing with here.

I'm like this in real life as well. I could be totally against something, but would argue points for it to get a fair view of both sides. Maybe it's annoying, but it's just the way my mind works.

I can see that the majority of people see an issue with his drug taking, which I understand and am taking all the comments on board. I just don't want to jump to a rash decision until I've talked it through... Sorry.

Ursus Horribilis

It's the vehemence with which you leapt to his defence is what struck myself (I can't speak for Dial Hard). Good old written word, eh? The thing is, there is no right or wrong answer for you. I would consider dating a drugs user to be a compromise on my principles and I'd be put right off. I have a very real problem with people putting money into the hands of scumbags and helping to keep the Hutches and Kinahans of this world in business. I can't see why they aren't just happy having a few drinks instead of playing Russian roulette with what pills/powders they're taking. But not everyone has the same moral compass as I do. I don't care if I'm uncool or a torch-bearing yokel.

If you want to date him, go right ahead. You're not going to get your answers here anyway. When you get to know him better you'll find out how "occasional" this drug use is. You'll find out if he really is as wonderful as you think he is just now. Maybe you'll discover that the sun shines out of his arse. Maybe you'll discover that he's a functioning junkie. Who knows? We can't tell you.

simongurnick

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

Drug usage is not high never has been. Drug addiction however is at an all time high.

Nobody uses drugs. They are addicts.

Everyone that uses drugs is an addict? Really?

Op. Give the lad a chance. Most drugs are less harmful than alcohol

ILoveYourVibes

He doesn't deserve the benefit of the doubt. He chooses to do this. If its not an addiction its a lifestyle choice. A really immoral one that gets poor people killed.

It shows a lack of conscience and empathy on his part.

If its not a lifestyle choice and its an addiction then he is an addict.

He doesn't seem to value the lives of other human beings or himself.

Alcohol comes from a brewery not a drug war in a poor country.

Its perfectly natural to be wary when we feel we might be letting something into our lives that can hurt us. Drugs can do that.

If he is in your life. Drugs are also in your life op.

wiggle16

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

It shows a lack of conscience and empathy on his part.
If its not a lifestyle choice and its an addiction then he is an addict.
He doesn't seem to value the lives of other human beings or himself.
Alcohol comes from a brewery not a drug war in a poor country.

Mod note:

Enough soapboxing, it's over the top and not of any use to the OP.

Lackey

Batrachotox wrote: »

Or maybe it’s just a fairly innocuous thing the odd time so he thought he’d mention it.

You’d swear the lad was main-lining heroin directly into his eyeballs the way some are talking here.

The young people that died over the summer weren’t ‘ main-lining heroin directly into their eyeballs ‘ either
But that ‘innocuous thing’ doesn’t make them any less dead.

OP it would be a hard no from me too.

Just the fact that he’s funding scum would be enough for me ...never even mind the drug use itself.

fishy_fishy

I'll go against the grain here...

fishy_fishy wrote: »

Alcohol is legal and quality controlled. Its effects are known, its strength is known, and there's no need to buy it illegally off dealers. So having a few drinks is a completely different ball game to a line of coke, or a joint, or a pill.

This is why they need to be legalised and taxed. The likes of pillreports.net is pretty accurate though in my experience.

<snipped>

Doing drugs obviously is not against my moral code as long as it doesn't get out of hand. You need to ask yourself; is he taking drugs responsibly and in moderation? Or is he like a drunk, who can't get enough and its affecting his ability to function on a daily basis?

Fusitive

Honestly, some of the air of superiority been shown here is way over the top and even spilling into political nonsense, I fail to see any constructiveness from talking about the kinahans and sitting on high horse of superiority as if she is dating Christy Kinahan or whatever. Isn't personal issues supposed to be about giving impartial advice to better HELP the OP make a decision and understand HER stance, not a place to try and enforce your politics on others?

Or is this an after hours sub-forum?

AulWan

There is no such thing as "taking drugs responsibly".

If you pop a pill given to you by someone who is not your doctor or pharmacist, or buy a substance from a dealer in a club or at a street corner you do not know wtf you are actually taking so its actually the opposite of responsible.

ILoveYourVibes

OP you are afraid.

There are few paths.


You become desensitized and this will allow you to be with him and its a good choice..or its a bad one.

You remain sensitive to your instinct and choose not to pursue him.

Ask yourself what you need to know to make this choice. And then find it out.

Lotus Flower

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I'll go against the grain here... <snip>

Without turning this into a drink vs drugs debate, I also wouldn't want to date someone who was a heavy drinker and was polluting themselves with drink on a regular basis. As this is a thread about taking drugs, people have given their opinions based on that

wiggle16

Mod warning:

Ladies & gents, PI is not a discussion forum. When you post, you're supposed to have constructive advice directed at the OP. The back and forth around the ethics, availability, safety, etc of drugs is distracting from the OP's issue because none of this helps her decide if this is someone she can have a relationship with.

A number of posts have been deleted because they offered the OP no advice.

Please stay on topic and have advice for the OP when you post.

Thanks

AulWan

<snipped>

But there is a reason why most people STOP using drugs. They grow up and cop on and realise its a fools game.

OP, I wish you good luck with your decision. Personally, I stand by my first post on the thread. I believe if you continue to see this guy, it may be all good for a while, even great, but given how you describe yourself I believe its a basic incompatibility between you and my guess is before very long you'll find the difference between you and your type of friends, and he and his type of friends, will cause friction.

Just look what happens on a thread when strangers can't agree on it?

Arrival

<SNIPPED>

fmpisces

OP, as you already know only you can make the decision whether to get out now or stay with him, but I feel your feelings of loneliness are clouding your rational judgement right now. I think deep down you know you're best to end things now because if his drug use, no matter how infrequent or not, is bothering you now, that's hardly going to change in the future. Don't settle for less than you deserve. Put yourself and your health first, in reality you don't know what this guy may or may not have (especially if he has or is using needles or being careless sexually when under the influence).

Take it from someone who had a very near miss (can't say any more than that as it's way too personal for Boards).

Augme

I've taken lots of drugs so I'll give.my opinion on it. While people who have never taken drugs are also happy to give their opinion they simply have no experience so it's not always ideal.

I would give it a go with him. As I said, I took an good amount of drugs. I've turned out fine and drugs never caused me any major issues, nothing worse than drinking.

Lots of people take drugs, more than you realise. They just don't hang out with you or your gang. When I was in my drug taking phase I was out Friday and Saturday night dropping pills and partying while my non drug taking peers where out Friday and Saturday nights getting hammered and going to coppers etc. I never saw any difference between the activities myself.

Also I'm perfectly well adjusted and functioning human. Despite what most people on this thread seem to think.

punisher5112

Augme wrote: »

I've taken lots of drugs so I'll give.my opinion on it. While people who have never taken drugs are also happy to give their opinion they simply have no experience so it's not always ideal.

I would give it a go with him. As I said, I took an good amount of drugs. I've turned out fine and drugs never caused me any major issues, nothing worse than drinking.

Lots of people take drugs, more than you realise. They just don't hang out with you or your gang. When I was in my drug taking phase I was out Friday and Saturday night dropping pills and partying while my non drug taking peers where out Friday and Saturday nights getting hammered and going to coppers etc. I never saw any difference between the activities myself.

Also I'm perfectly well adjusted and functioning human. Despite what most people on this thread seem to think it is.

I hope you don't use this in schools... What such terrible advice....

Were the drugs regulated that you took, do you know where they were coming from such as up the back passage of another human or any other disgusting type of transportation of any method that would work.

Were the drugs tested to prove it was actually what you intended to take????

I actually can't believe what I read.

tara73

Sorry if it was mentioned before, I couldn't manage to read into all the replies in detail this time.

What I find most remarkable is you only know him two weeks and he mentioned taking drugs, but just when somebody offers it to him? Do you notice something??

I think your gut is telling you the right thing here, as always. Why does he mention it after knowing you for just two weeks if it's such a minor thing as taking occasionally a 'bit of drugs' just when somebody offers it to him?

Sorry, big, big red flag here. He's trying to downplay his drug use (more possible: addiction) to you imo. Anf if there are concerns arising from your side he could say 'I told you in the beginnning', thinking he's on the safe and 'right' side here. And he will always do it 'just occasionally', no matter what.

Gregk961

Also a drug user so I'll weigh in for a bit of balance.

I've been taking recreational drugs to varying degrees since I was 15/16. I've had 3 long term relationships (3 years+) in that time. I've always been open about my drug use with friends, family and even co-workers to some extent. I have never lied to new partners about drug use but at the same time I would never mention it in the first few weeks unless I was asked directly about it.

Overall I don't think it's been the defining factor in any relationship I've been in but it certainly hasn't made things any easier either(especially in cases when the girl I was seeing did not use drugs) It would be my opinion that there will be a lot of bigger tests to come, should you choose to continue dating this man. Amount of time spent together, activities, money, family, career moves-these are that things that define a relationship. Drug use can make some or all of these things more of a problem.

As for drug users being immoral, lazy etc I'm not sure that's fair. I would say the amount of immoral, lazy drug users is pretty proportionate to the number or immoral lazy non drug users. I've never had any issues with missing work or performing poorly in my job, problems with money, domestic abuse and I've never been arrested. I know plenty of non drug users who have had these problems as well as lots of drug users who have had these problems.

wiggle16

Apologies OP, but I'm afraid I had to close this thread after deleting over 20 posts. A number of posters were more interested in defending their views about drug use than addressing your issue.

In that, I would say it is kind of telling that those posters who were interested only in defending the/their use of drugs ignored requests to give you advice and were not interested in your concerns or helping you. You can take from that what you will in relation to your own situation.

Best of luck, whatever you decide to do.

Thread locked