Fussy eating toddler

Brego888

Hi look

Looking for some advice to help with feeding a fussy 15 month old girl.
She gets a bottle (milk or formula) first thing in the morning and just before bed.
Always eats her breakfast which is Weerabix or porridge.


It's the rest of the day which is the problem. She is so fussy when it comes to her lunch and dinner. This problem developed from about 11 months. Up until that she ate everything. We offer her salt free versions of our own dinners, different organic fresh pre prepared baby foods and everything in between that her mother cooks for her.
Inevitably it's a fight to get her to eat though. She turns up her nose, pushes the food away and crys. We then have 2 options - give her an alternative that we know she likes (fruit, bread etc.) or give her nothing. Both options are unappealing for different reasons obviously. Giving her alternatives isn't helping the issue. Giving her nothing means she eats nothing. She will never return to that meal. We tried nearly a week of giving her nothing after a refusal but we couldn't continue as she was having so little to eat then throughout the day. We have also tried to limit her snaps so she is hungry for meals.

We had successfully been doing the baby lead weaning up until this issue started. If left with food now it all goes on the floor unless it's some of her favourites. She will sometimes use a spoon herself again if it's her favourites.

She is a great baby otherwise. Sleeps well, energetic, good with people and generally very happy.
She is on the small side though for her age and our worry is she isn't taking enough in. She generally has 2 dirty nappies a day and 3-4 wet.

It's all a bit of a vicious cycle and we are making little progress. We have obviously googled advice to death but nothing is really working. It seems like normal defiant/finding her own independence behaviour but we just need to know is there something else we could be doing. And she is in the bottom 10-20 percentile for weight and height and we just don't want to stunt her development.

Will she eventually just snap out of it?
Anything else we could try?

shesty

I have found with all of mine that there is a period between about 12-14 months where they start this.My own lad is 15 months and he is a good enough eater but there are still meals he will fling mainly on the floor rather than eating.Food throwing is definitely a phase and the bigger a reaction they get from.you, the more they will do it (it's a major issue in our house at the moment)I am never sure if it is teeth or an independence phase or what.We have switched his morning milk now....breakfast comes first and then he takes what he wants from the bottle afterwards.Outside of that I just try to make sure he is good and hungry.If she isn't eating I would just stop after about 15 mins and go back to her about an hour later.And being a toddler if she knows you are getting stressed about it, she will keep doing it.....so you need to act like you just don't care!!

Honestly food is a complete pain for a lot (not all) kids up til they are about three/four and often a lot of the problem is our reactions as parents and how we deal with it.(and I hold my own hands up too on this one).But none of them starve.

Sono

We have a 17 month old and I noticed that she hated us feeding her a few months ago, she would much rather feed herself however messy it is!

I would suggest putting the bowl of food in front of her and see how she gets on, not saying it will work but it may be a case that she wants to feed herself.

Our daughter would rather go without food than let one of us feed her.

Best of luck.

goose06

Brego888 wrote: »

Hi look

Looking for some advice to help with feeding a fussy 15 month old girl.
She gets a bottle (milk or formula) first thing in the morning and just before bed.
Always eats her breakfast which is Weerabix or porridge.


It's the rest of the day which is the problem. She is so fussy when it comes to her lunch and dinner. This problem developed from about 11 months. Up until that she ate everything. We offer her salt free versions of our own dinners, different organic fresh pre prepared baby foods and everything in between that her mother cooks for her.
Inevitably it's a fight to get her to eat though. She turns up her nose, pushes the food away and crys. We then have 2 options - give her an alternative that we know she likes (fruit, bread etc.) or give her nothing. Both options are unappealing for different reasons obviously. Giving her alternatives isn't helping the issue. Giving her nothing means she eats nothing. She will never return to that meal. We tried nearly a week of giving her nothing after a refusal but we couldn't continue as she was having so little to eat then throughout the day. We have also tried to limit her snaps so she is hungry for meals.

We had successfully been doing the baby lead weaning up until this issue started. If left with food now it all goes on the floor unless it's some of her favourites. She will sometimes use a spoon herself again if it's her favourites.

She is a great baby otherwise. Sleeps well, energetic, good with people and generally very happy.
She is on the small side though for her age and our worry is she isn't taking enough in. She generally has 2 dirty nappies a day and 3-4 wet.

It's all a bit of a vicious cycle and we are making little progress. We have obviously googled advice to death but nothing is really working. It seems like normal defiant/finding her own independence behaviour but we just need to know is there something else we could be doing. And she is in the bottom 10-20 percentile for weight and height and we just don't want to stunt her development.

Will she eventually just snap out of it?
Anything else we could try?

Main thing is to avoid stressing her. Our second is 16 months and can be an absolute mule she is so stubborn, feeding time can be pretty miserable unless it's pancakes which she'll slaughter. If shes pooing twice a day & drinking enough then she's getting enough to get by, remember people come in all sizes and some of us are just smaller so don't need as much. The toddler so far is measuring bigger than her 4 year older brother at 6 months & a year old, we joke she's his big sister.
They all have their problem areas, ours has never taken a bottle in creche do she used to wake for extra bottles every night as she wasn't drinking enough during the day.
It'll end eventually and meal times will become slightly less of a drudge but they'll never become a postcard moment. Last night the 4 year old was refusing to eat his vegetables because the peas were touching the carrots, this has never been a problem before, solution peas & carrots on separate plates. Will I regret this, most definitely but dinner was finished and that's all I care about.

shesty

Goose, they are all the same!!!!!

brokensoul

My 3 year old girl was a nightmare to feed at that age. I went to a class for dealing with fussy eaters and I found it great. The woman's name was Caroline O Connor and her facebook page is "Solid Start". She gives loads of great free advice on fb about dealing with fussy toddlers.

http://www.solidstart.ie/ is her website if you want to engage with her, but unless you are in or near Cork that may not be of any help.

The most important things I learned from her are that if your child is eating some things and weeing/pooing then they are doing ok, that the child will no starve, that forcing food on a child doesn't work and that this too shall pass!

Milly33

Had a big reply typed out but more or less our little one is the same. As most have said it must just be a phase..

She was a dinger with meals, ate all and I make her dinners so i know what she likes and doesnt like but nope. She has been like this for around a month or so. I have tried all dinner at lunch time, eating later earlier.. Just down not to making sure she gets at least one big meal or substantial meal.. With all her pickiness she is loveing homemade tinned salmon fish cakes odd but it works.. I had to tell myself not to get annoyed about it just let her be...

One thing I found is actually leaving her at it, when she starts giving out I just leave her with the food go about my own business and sometimes it does work and she will eat it eventually..

She is 20mths now and this has happened twice over the last year...Best of luck and remember you are not alone haha

Bunnyslippers

Mine went through a picky phase too, we just left him at it at meal times, we sit down and eat together and chat away and let him feed himself, if he eats he eats if he doesn't he doesn't and isn't going to starve. I'd ditch the morning bottle though, at this age its not needed and the calcium and dairy can come from cereal with milk, cheese, yoghurt etc or just some milk in a cup, plus you're giving a bottle at bed time so the morning one will fill her up. If its formula which is not needed after one despite what all the milk companies pedal, cows milk is just fine, formula sits in their stomach a good while making them feel full.

What ever you do don't make an issue out of it as if its attention seeking, which it nearly always is at this stubborn age, then they are getting what they want, but watching you eat and ignore the tantrums will definitely help, they do snap out of it eventually!!

I found also helping mix things or chop up things even a small bit of spud or something with a plastic knife involves them in the whole cooking experience which they are so chuffed with, they are then far more likely to eat the results!:rolleyes:

Brego888

Update on this 5 months later.

We are still struggling.
Breakfast in the morning (Weetabix or porridge) and bottle of milk late in the evening are the only things she will regularly take.
The rest of the day is a battle. Tried leaving food available for her, not making a fuss, not giving alternatives, involving her etc. Nothing working. She'd happily starve for the day.

The frustrating thing is she eats well for the childminder who has her 2 days a week. Just won't eat for us or other regular family members.
We are at a loss

goose06

mine's improved somewhat in that now I can threaten to take things away from her if she doesn't eat. I'll often play music she likes while she's eating and say I'll turn it off if she doesn't eat her food but you've got to follow through with the threat though and put up with the tantrum that comes with this, so reward or bribes might work with her or put her in the naughty step, corner etc

Brego888 wrote: »

Update on this 5 months later.

We are still struggling.
Breakfast in the morning (Weetabix or porridge) and bottle of milk late in the evening are the only things she will regularly take.
The rest of the day is a battle. Tried leaving food available for her, not making a fuss, not giving alternatives, involving her etc. Nothing working. She'd happily starve for the day.

The frustrating thing is she eats well for the childminder who has her 2 days a week. Just won't eat for us or other regular family members.
We are at a loss

naem80

Brego888 wrote: »

Update on this 5 months later.

We are still struggling.
Breakfast in the morning (Weetabix or porridge) and bottle of milk late in the evening are the only things she will regularly take.
The rest of the day is a battle. Tried leaving food available for her, not making a fuss, not giving alternatives, involving her etc. Nothing working. She'd happily starve for the day.

The frustrating thing is she eats well for the childminder who has her 2 days a week. Just won't eat for us or other regular family members.
We are at a loss

Hi Brego888
I came on here looking for help too and you might as well be describing my daughter. Shes 16 months and has been a nightmare feeder for months. She really resisted transitioning to texture, and at the moment every meal her arms/hands are up at her mouth blocking the food, she just seems to have no interest. She takes her bottles which
I'm weary to stop as I figure at least that's giving her some nutrition. Ive tried distraction, no distraction, letting her feed herself (morsels go in), all to no avail. I know this is a short window of parenting but it feels like its going on forever! And I feel an awful failure when I see other children happily devouring family meals at her age. Going to see a paediatric dietitian in a couple of weeks so hopefully she will be able to offer some advice. Other than that shes an energetic, happy joy of a girl so hoping she will get enough to sustain her till this phase (god I hope its a phase!) passes

jlm29

naem80 wrote: »

Hi Brego888
I came on here looking for help too and you might as well be describing my daughter. Shes 16 months and has been a nightmare feeder for months. She really resisted transitioning to texture, and at the moment every meal her arms/hands are up at her mouth blocking the food, she just seems to have no interest. She takes her bottles which
I'm weary to stop as I figure at least that's giving her some nutrition. Ive tried distraction, no distraction, letting her feed herself (morsels go in), all to no avail. I know this is a short window of parenting but it feels like its going on forever! And I feel an awful failure when I see other children happily devouring family meals at her age. Going to see a paediatric dietitian in a couple of weeks so hopefully she will be able to offer some advice. Other than that shes an energetic, happy joy of a girl so hoping she will get enough to sustain her till this phase (god I hope its a phase!) passes

At 16 months I’d probably cut down the bottles tbh. You don’t say how many she’s getting, but they could be filling her up so she’s not eating.
Otherwise, I don’t stress about these things, they don’t starve themselves, and it does pass.

Anne_cordelia

The bottles can be part of a vicious cycle where the child is full on milk. I’d cut them down.

shesty

100%.Cut way down on bottles, I would only offer one at nap and bedtime.Maybe in the morning, but only after breakfast is finished.The dietician will most likely tell you the same thing, although it is good to go to one.

I have a book called "Feed your Child Well" written by Temple St dieticians.Covers pretty much all aspects of feeding, it might be worth buying.It's not recipes, it's information and advice on feeding from Birth to 10 years, including fussy eaters, and other issues with reflux, constipation and the like.

naem80

Sorry I should have said, she's on 3 bottles a day, taking around 500mls total, so not excessive, but you are all confirming the niggle in my brain that I need to cut out the afternoon one to hopefully give her more of an appetite come dinner time. Thanks so much for your comments, I must pick up that Temple Street book for sure. Thanks again

jlm29

3 bottles might not seem like much, but 500ml of milk is very filling. There’s lots of protein in it, it’s no wonder she’s not hungry. Nutritionally she doesn’t need bottles after 12mo, once she has a good diet, so definitely cut them right back!

shesty

I think 400-600ml milk a day is the requirement at the 9 month check-up.So while 500ml doesn't seem like much, when you think about it, it is almost as much as they should be getting in a day at 9 mths, when milk should be their primary source of food.

I think my 20month old gets maybe 200ml in a day, that's an absolute maximum, and that is a bottle at naptime and bedtime, which is for comfort only.

She mightn't take to the food straight away, but it will come with time as she gets hungry in the day.Let her be hungry, she won't starve.

jlm29

If it’s hard to break the habit of the bottles you could water them down for a while to make them less lovely