Timid Cat

Mollyb60

Ok so we rescued our second cat about 2 weeks ago now. A beautiful ginger female about 5 years old. The rescue centre told us she was a stray and was very timid and shy. We're happy to be patient about letting her get used to us in her own time but I wonder if more experienced cat owners could give us a direction?

She's set up in our box room with all her stuff and seems to be quite happy in there. She'll come out from behind the couch when we're not in the room and happily plays with the toys we've left her (we have a webcam we use to spy on her). She's eating and using the litter no problem. But she scarpers behind the couch anytime we come into the room and will not come out until we leave. We don't try to pet her or invade her safe space behind the couch, we've been sitting on the floor beside the couch reading to her to get her used to our voices and scents. This has been going on for 2 weeks now with no discernible progress.

We're free feeding her at the moment because when we first brought her home we were more concerned with her eating at all than eating at set meal times. I'm wondering if we should move to the set meal times though where the bowl is left for an hour or 30 minutes and then removed if she doesn't eat it. It might force her out when we're in the room to eat but I don't want to force her if she's gonna be really uncomfortable. Any thoughts?

Second concern - we have a cat already so we've been leaving the new cat in the box room. How long do we keep her in there before we try to introduce her to the resident cat? Do we wait till she's comfortable with us before trying? We have to keep her confined then and it seems cruel keeping her in this little room for ages. My husband was thinking that we should try leaving the room door open and see if she comes out. If we did this we'd have to confine the resident cat in the kitchen to allow new cat to explore the house on her own. I'd be afraid she'd just go to another room and would hide there and not come out at all.

It's so hard not to think that it's just not gonna work at all with her and she'll never feel comfortable with us. Patience is hard work!

Choc Chip

Morning Molly!

Cat people will likely be along but I just wanted to say that 2 weeks is nothing. My dog took 18 months to come out of her shell and I've a totally different dog now after 4 years than I did then.

I know it's hard to be patient, and I'm sure you'll get some advice, but don't worry. You can't rush time, more pressure is likely to be counterproductive, and reading to her sounds lovely.

Graces7

Choc Chip wrote: »

Morning Molly!

Cat people will likely be along but I just wanted to say that 2 weeks is nothing. My dog took 18 months to come out of her shell and I've a totally different dog now after 4 years than I did then.

I know it's hard to be patient, and I'm sure you'll get some advice, but don't worry. You can't rush time, more pressure is likely to be counterproductive, and reading to her sounds lovely.

Agree totally re time frame. It is a huge "ask" especially of a five year old. Just do as you are doing and her set the pace.; breakthroughs will come when you least expect them.

I took in 3 young rescues last October and it took literally months. Still making progress. One had been abused and was terrified of doors. She is grand re doors now and talks to me all the time, but that took many months.

I would strongly advise against changing feeding routines, It will add stress and set things back

ACCEPT her as she is? I did that with these three and it works slowly but permanently. Just accept her and let her emerge as she decides. trust me it is worth the wait. Scaredy cat here now attaches to my wrist and purrs for long whiles. Her choice.

Mollyb60

Thanks guys. But do we just leave her confined in the room forever then? I actually think that's the crux of my worry, that she's cooped up in that tiny room on her own all day. I just think it's cruel.

Choc Chip

How big is the box room molls?

And is there any way you could split the house, as in one cat gets a few rooms and the other a few rooms to make it a bit more even for a while?

Do you have a cat tree or anything that you could pop into the boxroom so she could get a bit of height?

I'll reiterate - I'm not a cat person so I'm just throwing out ideas. I love 'em but I'm allergic.

Mollyb60

It's a fairly standard sized box room so I don't actually think it's unreasonable. It's just length of time stuck there that worries me. She likes to sit on the windowsill a lot and snoozes on the couch and we have 2 different sized bookcases in the room which I'm fairly sure she could get up on if she wanted but she hasn't yet. I made her a little cat house in a cardboard box but she wasn't interested in that either.

I don't know how we would get around splitting the house between the 2 of them. Apart from using a baby gate which I don't actually think would stop a cat at all.

Graces7

Mollyb60 wrote: »

Thanks guys. But do we just leave her confined in the room forever then? I actually think that's the crux of my worry, that she's cooped up in that tiny room on her own all day. I just think it's cruel.

She is where she feels safe and happy FOR NOW. Two weeks is no time at all. Trust that!. Wait and let her make the decisions. It would be cruel to force her out when she is not ready.

No "forever" about it..

When I was selling Siamese kittens I would give an info sheet and say clearly.. "Provide a safe warm bolt hole and access to food and water and let the cat come to you."

That is kindness. And will bear rich fruit.

Graces7

Mollyb60 wrote: »

It's a fairly standard sized box room so I don't actually think it's unreasonable. It's just length of time stuck there that worries me. She likes to sit on the windowsill a lot and snoozes on the couch and we have 2 different sized bookcases in the room which I'm fairly sure she could get up on if she wanted but she hasn't yet. I made her a little cat house in a cardboard box but she wasn't interested in that either.

I don't know how we would get around splitting the house between the 2 of them. Apart from using a baby gate which I don't actually think would stop a cat at all.

PS there is your answer.. She is still acclimatising and is happy with what she has. You are doing so well; just let her make the pace now? She knows best

mymo

Give her some time, can you close all other doors and allow her out into the hall? Put a saucer of food just outside the open door, do it for a few days and see does she venture out, keep up what you're doing. It could take some time, gradually open one room, then another, she'll smell your cat and yours will smell her.
Weirdly our very nervous girl is terrified of people but loves the dogs and cats. We get a cuddle when she feels like it.

Choc Chip

When you're sitting on the floor reading to her, does she have to come out past you to get out from behind the couch?

If so, she might feel trapped there. You could try sitting on the couch or across the room? And if you get bored of reading out loud just read or use your phone or watch a video - being normal and just letting her observe you?

If she does pop her head out just ignore her completely and carry on doing what you're doing. You can work up from there.

I might pop some toys in the room or hide treats in the box bed you made her for her to find while you're out, but I don't think I'd worry about the size of the room just yet - when we were looking at getting ferals we were advised to keep them in a stable for 6 - 8 weeks before releasing and that's smaller than your box room.

Mollyb60

mymo wrote: »

Give her some time, can you close all other doors and allow her out into the hall? Put a saucer of food just outside the open door, do it for a few days and see does she venture out, keep up what you're doing. It could take some time, gradually open one room, then another, she'll smell your cat and yours will smell her.
Weirdly our very nervous girl is terrified of people but loves the dogs and cats. We get a cuddle when she feels like it.

This is what my husband had suggested. Trying to entice her out of the room a little at a time while we stay at the other end of the hallway. But I'm just not sure that's any use if she won't even come out from behind the couch when we're there!

Thanks for the advice guys. I think I just needed a bit of reassurance!
There are 2 open ends to the couch so she's not trapped in any way. She always has a route of escape. I've tried putting treats at the end of the couch for her to eat with no success and she can't see us on the couch if she's hiding behind it which is why I've taken to sitting on the floor. At least when I'm there she can see me ignoring her. Usually she has a snooze when I start reading which at least gives me an indication that she's a bit comfortable with my presence. And she has some toys in the room that she has been playing with. She's a really sprightly cat actually when she's playing. Nothing like the resident cat who is completely lazy. :rolleyes:

aonb

OP I was in your position with my two cats
One arrived as an approx 4 year old half dead skeleton feral, the other was a little feral kitten, all of whose siblings were dead.

The kitten was wild, and we had 2 terriers. It took about 6 weeks before we could let the kitten out of the workshop she was kept in. Like you I would sit every evening on the floor, throwing balls, playing with toys, trying to entice her to be handled etc. She was fed, had a litter tray, and lived in the workroom for approx 8 weeks. Once we could handle her, we brought her into the rest of the house. Getting the terriers to accept her was our next hurdle, but they were always on leash, given treats (and threats!!! ) and eventually they realized she was not to be eaten (although ALL of her toys were fair game) As long as she was in an open room, with places she could leap up onto to escape, we were happy with her safety. After approx 3 months, we had her neutered, then she could go outdoors. She is mostly indoors but spends a few hours in outside every evening, then indoors overnight to bed. Shes the prettiest longhaired tuxedo cat

The second cat, took approx 6 months to be 'tamed' - she was feral and I sat beside her on a wall under a tree (!) twice a day with a huge bowl of food for about 4 months, talking quietly to her. I always called her name when I went out with her food, she started to come on being called. Slowly she allowed me to stroke her. Finally because she had so many health issues, once she had put weight on I trapped her and took her to the vet for various surgeries/repairs and neutering. When she came home, I put her into the workshop for a week to recover - and again, sitting on the floor feeding her 3 times/day, talking to her and rolling a ball on the floor, swishing a feather on a stick etc to entice her to come closer. Lots of tiny bits of cooked chicken (her favourite treat) on the floor to get her to come closer. It was a very long slow process, but she is now the fattest little lump of happiness. She has the loudest purr Ive heard in a cat. She spends all day in the house, and goes out to the workshop overnight with another meal, and a cosy basket. She will probably stay inside overnight when the weather gets cold again - she has a problem with her pelvis, and her jaw is wonky, so we're spoiling her rotten. Shes currently lying on my top of my husband on the sofa

Keep doing what your doing, but maybe in a week or some, I would leave the room door open to see what she does - close all other doors in the house except the kitchen or whatever. See if shes ready to come out to explore - if not, try again another day. Make no fuss and stay very calm when she does venture out.

Get a little feather on a stick type toy - not sure what they're called - to swish near her while shes benind the sofa - and put a few bits of treats on the floor around where you're sitting too.

Good luck - hope your other cat is a welcoming one - thats the next bridge to cross

Graces7

My "scaredy cat", the most fearful of the three street cats I gained last October, this morning curled up in my arm when I was on the phone... That is new... she is the one who hid for a week, then was so terrified of doors it took me an hour to get her in. Now she races in.

She is very talkative. Natters at me the whole while!

It is worth all the waiting, it really is.

I had already two older cats and still sleep and feed them separately. Five cats on my bed would be too much!

karenalot

I have fostered countless ferals and the easiest way to get them used to you is by keeping them in the same rooms that you socialise in, so kitchen,
living area etc. I used to put them in the spare room or bathroom thinking they would feel safe there and they always took twice as long to tame. They need to get used to voices, noises, smells etc and see it as normal.

Crates are excellent for this, get them used to sleeping in one at night and then move to where you hang out. Always have a blanket over so they feel safe and hidden.

They all eventually come around given the right living conditions.

Graces7

karenalot wrote: »

I have fostered countless ferals and the easiest way to get them used to you is by keeping them in the same rooms that you socialise in, so kitchen,
living area etc. I used to put them in the spare room or bathroom thinking they would feel safe there and they always took twice as long to tame. They need to get used to voices, noises, smells etc and see it as normal.

Crates are excellent for this, get them used to sleeping in one at night and then move to where you hang out. Always have a blanket over so they feel safe and hidden.

They all eventually come around given the right living conditions.

My one real failure was a feral girl I did just this with. Many months later she was as wild as ever.

The three new ones though I did keep crated in the kitchen then let them sleep in there but they were not feral as such.

My awareness is that they need to be apart to take stock and to emerge in their own time as individuals. Of the three, each was different in every way . The scaredy cat was the last to come through. The bumptious boy the first and he is the most devoted and follows me everywhere.
NB my accommodation has always been small so cats are never isolated.