Holiday - cancel or not?

Hannaho

Hi! I wrote below re nephew. We are supposed to be going on holiday to Austria with my sister. My son broke his leg a while ago, and we're not sure whether to go or not, as he is still not completely recovered, but that's another issue. I wrote below re my nephew and my sister, and how he treats them (step dad also), shouting abuse, selling possessions etc. Now my sister says this evening that she does not want to go on holidays. It was just me and my 2 children, and she with her two children, no partners. Somehow, her son took money that's left in the cupboard for absolute emergencies, and spent 20 euros in 4 days on his leap card, as well as 20 euros credit, as well as talking pocket money that was meant for his sister. I know that the cap on leap card spending is 2.70 a day, so we suspect he is tapping other people on. He also now keeps making calls on a phone plan that is just really for text and data, and calls are very expensive on it. When she got on to him about it this evening, he just became really annoyed, shouting etc. There has been so many issues with him, recently, that my sister does not want to go on the holiday she booked. His sister doesn't mind if she goes or not. My sister will lose the flights, but can cancel accommodation. I am not sure what to say to her - we may not go for other reasons, but it seems a pity to let her son spoil the holiday.

punisher5112

I don't really see the question or how we can answer?

He should have the phone taken or block calls, leap card again can be cancelled or taken off him...

He needs to understand there are consequences for ones actions.

She probably needs the holiday so it may be best to get away and maybe she sit down and give him some time with just them for a chat and see if there is issues she can assist with etc....

He is most likely lashing out for some reason.

shesty

OP you have posted a number of times about your nephew now.To be honest, on reading this last one, I am beginning to think there is something going on here that he is not telling you.I don't know if it's drugs or a girl or what it is but either way, constantly taking money and selling things for money is not really normal behaviour.

Your sister is firefighting.She needs to get to the bottom of this.It is not the individual events of expensive phonecalls or taking small amounts of money, it's the whole lot together.What is he doing that seems to require a constant flow of cash?I would not be accepting reasons like spending it on games, the cinema etc, because if that is really all that it is, then why does he have to be so secretive about it?He has broken all manners of trust here.

I also do not know what is going on in the house, since I know you said there is a stepfather there.Clearly there are bigger issues at play here.I would strongly recommend your sister and her husband consider finding a family therapist to figure out how to deal with it-it may be that your nephew needs to go along, but she might be aswell to go herself or themselves first.She needs to figure this out because I feel it may just get worse before it gets better, and she needs to take a strong stance on it.This website may help.
www.familytherapyireland.com

charlietheminxx

I gave some genuine advice on your last thread but I don't think it was acknowledged. I also saw some very good advice from other people. Have you actually discussed any of that with your sister?

Some people also raised concerns about how much private information you are regularly posting about your family. You might want to consider that, if you keep posting so much it's only a matter of time before someone who knows one of you will see it and you've made everyone easily identifiable.

harr

How many threads now is it about your nephew?
Surely the same advice given before is Relevant To this new nephew dilemma ?
As mentioned it wouldn’t be to hard for someone to work out who you are from all the personal info you post/

jlm29

I think you should go on your own holiday with your own kids, and enjoy yourself. let your sister worry about her costs and her kids.
There’s so much drama with your sisters family that your holiday would be wrecked by them anyhow.

branie2

The best thing to do is just go with your family on holiday.

SirChenjin

charlietheminxx wrote: »

I gave some genuine advice on your last thread but I don't think it was acknowledged. I also saw some very good advice from other people. Have you actually discussed any of that with your sister?

Some people also raised concerns about how much private information you are regularly posting about your family. You might want to consider that, if you keep posting so much it's only a matter of time before someone who knows one of you will see it and you've made everyone easily identifiable.

I was one of those who raised a concern, OP, on some of your previous threads, in relation to the personal information you are posting.
Your own, that's your own choice, but tbh, I think it's unfair to be posting so much detail about others on a very widely read message board.
I'm sure your intention is to be helpful but I don't think it's fair to either your sister or your nephew.

As for your holiday, I suggest if your son is able for it and can take part in whatever activities you have planned, go ahead. I'm sure you have been looking forward to it.