Should I move out or stay longer

LegacyUser

I wanted to get advice here because I don't really have anyone impartial to to talk to about this. Any advice is welcome.

I'm 30 years old. From about age 19 to 27 I lived away from home. I shared flats, lived with a long term gf and even rented my own place for a year.
In 2015 I had a major nervous breakdown. I couldn't cope with my career anymore and felt trapped in it. It just really didn't suit me and in the end I started having panic attacks before going into work.
I packed it all in and moved home. I was suicidal for a while and have spent the last 4 years sorting myself out and trying to change career. While living with my parents.
I'm finally back on my feet and recently started a new job. The money isn't amazing but I feel much more positive about it and like it will work out long term.
Now more than ever though, living with my parents is driving me mad.
They offered me some land to build a house on. I'd like to but it would be at least a year before I could have enough money saved to build.
I'm torn. Because staying here and saving to build makes the most sense financially, I have no money left from my 20's and have sworn to myself that I would be more financially prudent in the future. Im looking at 1,000 a month for rent at a minimum. I make around 2,000 a month. I could move out right now but I might not be able to save up and build a place if I do that and it feels like I am taking instant gratification over long term solution.
I don't really know what the right thing to do is. I feel like a loser living at home in my 30's but I don't want to waste money either.
House sharing is not right for me either so I feel like stuck with two bad options.
I love my parents but the lack of privacy and feeling dependent is just coming to a head lately

hawley

I don't think that you can compare yourself to other people, in that you've come through a huge crisis point in your life. So saying that you feel like a loser is one thing you should avoid. If you want to build your own place, then stay with them for another year until you get the money together. The whole process will take a long time, so you could begin immediately. Maybe you could come up with a list of pros and cons to help decide where you'd like to live in future. It's not an easy decision to make. You also need to recognise the importance of a support network of family and friends.

Ursus Horribilis

If you think you can start building a house in a year or so, staying put sounds like a no-brainer to me. I doubt anybody apart from you thinks you're a loser because you're back home for now. Adult children living at home into their 30s isn't all that unusual any more, given the dysfunctional housing market we now have. Besides, comparing yourself to other people is never a good thing to do. You'll always come up short when you compare yourself to them.

The positives from your story are that you have got over your nervous breakdown, you've got a job you like, you're saving money and you have a medium-term plan. Unless living at home is utterly unbearable, you'd be mad to move out. Is there anything you can do to try and make life at home easier for you? Such as doing things in the evenings (volunteering, gym, a new hobby, meeting up with friends etc.) that'd keep you out of the house for a few extra hours. Or you could have a word with your parents if they are intruding too much. I can under5stand why you wouldn't love living at home with your parents but if you can see an end in sight to the arrangement, it has to help.

bertsmom

In the short term to give yourself a bit of headspace would buying a mobile home and putting it on the site your going to build on be an option?
Then you could sell it on after when your house is built so it wouldn't be the straight up financial loss of renting....

Redser87

Or put a residential log cabin on the land: http://www.timbercabins.ie/index2.html
Some are fairly inexpensive. You certainly aren't the only 30 year old who has had to move home, and you have made it to the other side of a tough time, so take it easy on yourself. Easier said than done I know, but recognising you needed help, getting back on track and now saving to build a home are not the hallmarks of a loser.