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Are long term relationships realistic?

Undividual · 2019-08-02 14:36:59

I've been going through what could be described as a mid life crisis following the birth of my first child. Myself and my partner went through a sexless period prior to the birth and in the subsequent months. I have a decent job and am not awful looking. I've gotten attention from a couple of women over the past few years…

02-08-2019 2:36pm

#1

Undividual

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 495 ✭✭

Join Date: March 2018

Posts: 484

I've been going through what could be described as a mid life crisis following the birth of my first child. Myself and my partner went through a sexless period prior to the birth and in the subsequent months.

I have a decent job and am not awful looking. I've gotten attention from a couple of women over the past few years (never got a 2nd look in my 20s, or at least I didn't notice if I did).

Now I just have this relentless, sinking feeling that I'm missing out. I never really had a wild period in my youth and the mundanity of my life is crushing. I love my girlfriend and she's a brilliant mother, but I don't know if I want to be sexually exclusive with her til death. I don't want to cheat and I wouldn't ask her to put up with me stepping out. The thing of it is, she's my best friend and I don't want to meet anyone else for a relationship. I can't imagine being with someone who is better. If I had a magic wand, I would love to stay with her and for us to raise our child, stay as close friends and support each other, but for neither of us to be sexually committed to each other. If she met someone and wanted to move on, I'd deal with it.

I remember telling a friend that he didn't love his girlfriend after he cheated on her. He got very annoyed at me and we didn't speak for a few years. I was very naïve at the time. I believe (and overly generalize) that men can love without attraction. I also think that in my experience familiarity diminishes desire. Men are willing to jump into bed instantly with an attractive stranger. For women, I think they are relatively happier in long term, monogamous relationships.

I guess I will receive flak for this thread but I feel stuck and friends/family I've spoken to have basically told me to swallow my feelings and muddle through. Curious as to whether anyone has felt the same.

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