Can we change language?

The Young Wan

I am Irish and live in Germany, my partner and his family are German. When we are at his mother's house (which is every/every second weekend), everyone speaks German.

I've been told my my partner, who is C2 certified in English, that his mother doesn't like to speak English around him as his level of English intimidates her. I've also been told she can speak relatively good English (around the same level as my German, which is B1. I often struggle to understand the family when we are together, but I get by.)

My partner's mother has English heritage (her father is from SE England) and we will go to see her family for a week soon. Here, she will have to speak English to them, as none of them have ay German. Woupd I be wrong for asking we speak English in our AirBnB as well, so I could understand more and to help get her out of her shell a little?

antix80

There's no problem at all discussing it with your husband to see what he thinks.

You wouldn't be wrong to ask, but wouldn't it be nice for his mum to get to slip back into German when she gets home?

The Undecided One

Try and talk her into using English for the next few weeks while you are around so she can get some practice before you all come over here?

never_mind

Why not just constantly reply in a English and they’d get the hint? Though to be honest if you’re in the minority I would usually think you should try and improve your German through interacting with them.

never_mind

Why not just constantly reply in a English and they’d get the hint? Though to be honest if you’re in the minority I would usually think you should try and improve your German through interacting with them.

Canard

Why not have her speak German to you and you reply in English? Sounds weird, but it can work. In a group of four friends a few years ago, two of us Irish and two Spanish, all learning the other language, we all felt a bit self-conscious and communicated by all speaking our own language and it worked fine. It's also great practice for both of you passively, you get to hear the language you're learning without stressing about making mistakes.

The Young Wan

never_mind wrote: »

Why not just constantly reply in a English and they’d get the hint? Though to be honest if you’re in the minority I would usually think you should try and improve your German through interacting with them.

In the UK, I will be in the majority group. Everyone around will be speaking English

The Young Wan

Canard wrote: »

Why not have her speak German to you and you reply in English? Sounds weird, but it can work. In a group of four friends a few years ago, two of us Irish and two Spanish, all learning the other language, we all felt a bit self-conscious and communicated by all speaking our own language and it worked fine. It's also great practice for both of you passively, you get to hear the language you're learning without stressing about making mistakes.

I really like this idea, I think I'll suggest it.

MartyMcFly84

I have found when you speak another language , whatever language you start the relationship in will be the natural language for your relationship going forward.

It tends to seem strange and forced if you start speaking in a second language you both can speak.

I am sure this can change over time, but it might be a bit difficult.

skallywag

I have actually experienced exactly the same with my own mother in law, she has a decent level of English but always speaks to me in German. When someone is around who speaks no German at all, then she will speak in English.

It is definitely a confidence thing, and she is embarrassed about making mistakes. German is a very hard nut to crack from the grammar perspective, and it can consequently make some German speaking people very conscientious about not making a mistake when they speak English.

On the other hand when I speak German myself I do not really care less that I am making loads of errors, otherwise I do not think that I would every open my mouth!

Are they at least speaking something close to 'HochDeutsch' are have they a hard dialect?