Lonely, slightly depressed, and struggling to move on from a short relationship

sheepeasy

I used to be a serial dating app user and I met a girl around last Christmas on a dating app, we went on a few dates I felt we really clicked, I felt she was out of my league really so the whole experience was great, a lot better than all the other dates I had been on. She was good craic, friendly, fit, outgoing, receptive. I met her friends and vice versa and two of our friends actually started a relationship themselves. So things were going better for me than ever before.

Anyway after 3 months she decided to end it as she is entitled to do, which was perfectly fine. It was a sore one to take but she felt things weren’t right and I was fairly gutted but happy to accept her decision. Then she started to string me along for about 3 weeks while I was working abroad, saying she might have ended it too soon and maybe would have liked to continue dating which had my hopes up greatly until eventually she just stopped replying before I even made it home.

Since then (about 5 months ago) , I’ve been really down. We haven't spoken since, and I went on 3 other dates which all were nice but none resulted in a second date. It has truly knocked my confidence and self-esteem and I've become extremely self-conscious. I would have recovered fine except my friend is still going strong with her best friend and that link means I awkwardly see her sometime and I just can’t get her out of my head. the whole thing is really difficult to move on from.

Outside of this, all my other friends have found relationships (or sometimes multiple relationships) in the past years and because of this I spend a lot more time lately on my own. In the evenings I'm bored and lonely, while everyone I know is coupled up out in the sunshine. Friday evenings are no longer the best time of the week because I know the weekend will be long and lonely. I have never really been in a solid relationship

I'm trying my best to keep exercising and make new friends but it doesn’t quite fill the hole, I'm finding it hard to concentrate in work, the whole situation is on my mind when I'm trying to sleep, I’ve lost motivation to progress my career, I've gone off socializing at the weekend because seeing everyone else enjoying themselves combined with a few drinks just puts me down even more. I feel like I’ve nobody to travel or holiday with anymore, I can’t face going on any more dates because they feel like a waste of time and its pointless even trying
I was always introverted, never hugely confident but lately this seems to really had an effect on me.

I shouldn’t be feeling this way at 28 years old but I can’t thing what else to do

milli milli

OP I’m sorry things didn’t work out with this girl. It’s tough when you like someone but please know at 28 there are lots of girls out there.

It’s also tough when friends start to pair off and you’re left on your own, but this is part of life. If you can see this as an opportunity to expand your horizons and meet other people and do other things, then it can be a blessing.

You say you are bored in the evenings. Can you start a hobby, join a sports club, make a list of all the things you want to do (like a bucket list - you can even find websites online where you can record your bucket list ideas and tick them off!) Start surfing, sailing, parachuting, writing, dancing, learn a language, get really good at something, volunteer, start a project that you’re passionate about and that fills your time. The list is endless really.

It can be a great opportunity to spend time with yourself and really get to know yourself. Plus by doing lots of things and being engaged with life, it makes you an attractive prospect for women.
You also have the opportunity to meet lots of different people and start new friendships. All of this can help with the old self-esteem.

Squall Leonhart

At 28 I felt quite similar at times to you, failed dates, promising leads that only ended up dashing hopes and leading to sadness and low confidence.

Then at late 28 I met a woman... Fast forward some years, we got married last year and have a baby on the way now.

I know it's hard to not let it get to you, but you've a lot of opportunities ahead, try believe that

Emme

OP you say you used to be a serial dating app user so some of the women you met must have felt the same way you feel now when you moved on from them. Consider this a learning experience, you will get over it but hopefully you will have more awareness of the feelings of others if you become a serial dating app user again.

ManOfMystery

Emme wrote: »

OP you say you used to be a serial dating app user so some of the women you met must have felt the same way you feel now when you moved on from them. Consider this a learning experience, you will get over it but hopefully you will have more awareness of the feelings of others if you become a serial dating app user again.

This is complete speculation and also not at all helpful to the issue the OP has actually posted?