Bad teacher

sallyanne12

I have a 4 year old daughter due to start school in September. I have her name down and was accepted in 2 schools and had pretty much decided on the school. However i recently found out that a woman I was in school with is now a teacher in that school. This woman was horrible and really brought me down. She was in my group of friends at the time but she just turned everybody against everybody- she loved people hating each other. To the persons face she would act like their best friend and be really cruel behind their back. I am no longer friends with this girl as I felt bad in her company because she was always negative. But now that I hear she's teaching in the school I was going to send my daughter to, it's completely turned me off the school. I just want opinions on if I'm being silly or should I choose a different school for this reason. I can't imagine how awkward parent teacher meetings would be and not sure if she would be good to have teaching my daughter. Opinions please?

_blaaz

Could you not ask other parents,how good/what kind of teacher she is




She could be complete different person nowadays and matured?

rainbowtrout

Your thread title is inaccurate. She wasn't nice to you when you were about 16. You have no idea of her teaching ability. If you want to know what she is like as a teacher you should probably ask other parents who send their kids to that school.

Shop40

I can understand your hesitation OP. Just wondering, if your child has this teacher would it only be for one year? If so, I would suggest going forward with your original plan. Parent/ teacher meeting aside, a lot of communication seems to be via text/email - well in my child’s school anyway. Collecting her from school, I just say a quick hello to the teacher and run!
She might be a good teacher so I’d say go for it.

antix80

Get impartial feedback from other parents.
Primary education in my view is bonkers. You have all these impressionable kids sitting in front of one female, mother-substitute who likely has no experience outside school or college. I know a few primary school teachers and they all have a very similar attitude and demeanour. Often quite know-it-all and exhibit black-and-white thinking.
That being said, it really comes down to how well they can teach. That's what you should judge your former friend on.

leggo

I was a little dope in school. Fortunately I copped on and grew into, I like to think, a well-rounded person. One metric I look at that I’m doing alright and treating people well is that, in every job I’ve been in, I always end up being the person people go to when they’re struggling and need support.

It can and does happen. Are you the same person you were when you were 16 OP? Or do you look back and cringe a little at some of the stuff you used to do/say/think? Is there an option to reach out and chat to this person, even by way of chatting about the school, and gauging if she’s grown up to ease your mind a bit? It does seem a small and perhaps totally unnecessary thing to either deny your child an otherwise good school over, or riddle yourself with anxiety about.

Ursus Horribilis

I wouldn't like to judge anyone by what they were like at 16 either. One of the biggest brats in my class in school is now one of the soundest fellas you could meet.
Back when I was that age, I was one of a few kids who used to enjoy winding up a girl in our class for the craic. Or at least that's how I saw it at the time. Now that I am an adult, I know it was bullying and I am ashamed about the part I played in this "hilarity". Not that it's an excuse but teenagers are callous at times.

As the others have said, try to find out what this teacher is like. Maybe like many of us, she grew up and isn't the person you remember her as.

LegacyUser

Why had you decided on that school before you found out this person teaches there? You must have heard positive things about it to make your final choice so why change? Just because you didn't get on with this person as teenagers doesn't mean they aren't a good teacher.

Redser87

As others have said, judging somebody by their 16 year old self is unlikely to be accurate. Unless it's a tiny 2-teacher school I really wouldn't worry about it. Also, she may not be permanent, or she could take a career break or maternity leave in a year... no teacher wants a class full of the type of drama you describe from your teenage years, so even if she is still like this in her personal life, her work persona is probably not wildly different to that of any other primary teacher.

LegacyUser

antix80 wrote: »

Get impartial feedback from other parents.
Primary education in my view is bonkers. You have all these impressionable kids sitting in front of one female, mother-substitute who likely has no experience outside school or college. I know a few primary school teachers and they all have a very similar attitude and demeanour. Often quite know-it-all and exhibit black-and-white thinking.
That being said, it really comes down to how well they can teach. That's what you should judge your former friend on.

This is so ignorant. Primary School Teachers are highly skilled. I actually think you could ruin this teachers career over bad feeling from your school days. Very unfair of you, OP.

antix80

Almonds wrote: »

This is so ignorant. Primary School Teachers are highly skilled.

Well, they have formal education and some work experience. Highly skilled is subjective.

sallyanne12

rainbowtrout wrote: »

Your thread title is inaccurate. She wasn't nice to you when you were about 16. You have no idea of her teaching ability. If you want to know what she is like as a teacher you should probably ask other parents who send their kids to that school.

I should have explained better. This girl was in my group of friends in school and still is. I stayed in touch with her for many years after school (so she wasn't just 16)
She's always been nasty and tried to get everybody in the group hating each other. I had enough so I pulled back from the group and now am friends with 2 of the girls but have no contact with the others. These girls tell me she hasn't changed and is stil a nasty piece of work ...

Hercule Poirot

Plenty of people were twats as teenagers, myself included, but the majority of them grow up eventually and become decent citizens - maybe find out what she's like now and as others said see if you can get info on what she's actually like as a teacher, she may well have matured into a very nice person

rainbowtrout

sallyanne12 wrote: »

I should have explained better. This girl was in my group of friends in school and still is. I stayed in touch with her for many years after school (so she wasn't just 16)
She's always been nasty and tried to get everybody in the group hating each other. I had enough so I pulled back from the group and now am friends with 2 of the girls but have no contact with the others. These girls tell me she hasn't changed and is stil a nasty piece of work ...

Whatever she is like outside school, I can't imagine she is bringing that drama to a classroom of four year olds who are learning to spell and write.

wirelessdude01

Teacher persona can be very different to real life persona. It's like being an actor.

Vince135792003

wirelessdude01 wrote: »

Teacher persona can be very different to real life persona. It's like being an actor.

This is very true. I am a teacher and there are people on the staff who I'd be not not overly fond of but I can see they are very good teachers and vice versa. Plus if you have made an informed decision in choosing that school, you should go with it. This time next year your child will be preparing for Senior Infants with a new teacher. Time flies.

leggo

Yeah no I think you’re too close to the situation to be judging it fairly OP. It’s incredibly unlikely, even if this girl is still a bit of a twat, that she’s turning to 4-year olds like “Ooohh John did you hear what Mary said about you??”

Maybe when you’re getting intel do some research into what she’s like as a teacher rather than down the pub.

ILoveYourVibes

Just ask if she can be put into the other class?

cazzer22

antix80 wrote: »

Well, they have formal education and some work experience. Highly skilled is subjective.

Fancy a week in my classroom?

antix80

cazzer22 wrote: »

Fancy a week in my classroom?

You're on your summer holidays for god's sake!

cazzer22

antix80 wrote: »

You're on your summer holidays for god's sake!

I'll pencil you in for first week of September. Should be a walk in the park seeing as we aren't highly skilled :-)

JustAThought

sallyanne12 wrote: »

I should have explained better. This girl was in my group of friends in school and still is. I stayed in touch with her for many years after school (so she wasn't just 16)


She's always been nasty and tried to get everybody in the group hating each other. I had enough so I pulled back from the group and now am friends with 2 of the girls but have no contact with the others. These girls tell me she hasn't changed and is stil a nasty piece of work ...

If you are lucky,or unlucky,enough to have long term personal experience of this person and know her to e all the negative things you say, then would you want the most innocent and cherished posession you have to be left in her pastoral care and leave her to be brought up and influenced by someone with these values and behaviours. The teacher is the most important part of rhe jigsaw in a school and regardless of facilities or proximity she will be the person rearing your child or being kind or cruel to her.

Go with your gut. You are lucky you have a second choice.

Regarding plan B you could ask not to have her as her teacher - but what will you do in a few years of she rotates into her ' care ' ? Toxic teaches and school bullies are some of the harshest and bitterest lesons a child had to endure. Why take that risk with your beautiful little daughter whn you have another option.

Leopards don't change their spots.

sallyanne12

JustAThought wrote: »

would you want the most innocent and cherished posession you have to be left in her pastoral care

Thank you so so much justathought. Very very well put! Thanks for making my mind up