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access to baby after marriage split

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  • 16-07-2019 1:31pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    hi

    A family member has recently split up after a short marriage. They have tried counseling in the past and unfortunately, it seems to have gone toxic of late and no way back. The most important thing is they have a very young baby.

    I have advised them to go down the mediation route asap instead of the legal route which they have started.

    The first and big thing there have to work out is the access for the father. Does anyone have any advice on this? Not looking for legal advice but practical ideas on access suggestions for the first few weeks.

    There seem to be different examples online - for example, full weekend every 2 weeks/midweek visit and weekend visit rotated / full weekend every weekend. There is travel difference involved now (after move out) between 2 parties also which makes things more complicated.

    Thanks for any advice or help.


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    #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    mindstorm16 wrote: »

    There seem to be different examples online - for example, full weekend every 2 weeks/midweek visit and weekend visit rotated / full weekend every weekend. There is travel difference involved now (after move out) between 2 parties also which makes things more complicated.

    When you say young how young are we talking? Overnights can be difficult depending on the age of the child. If they are very young and being breastfeed then it requires a lot more then just dropping a child off. Yes the mother can express milk but thats not as easy as it sounds. Is the mother still on maternity leave or is the child going to child care?

    At this age I would be looking for as much access as is reasonable for both parties. When the child is older and in a routine it's easier to set up an agreed, every weekend/other weekend set up. You say the relationship has gone toxic, is that just their relationship together? ie is the mother likely to be difficult in mediation for access? it would best for everyone if they can agree something together and stick to it but get everything in writing as they should be ready to go to court if things go south. As they were married when they had the child legally they have far more rights then unmarried fathers.


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