Celebrities and their stool, whose would you like to analyse?

Former Observer

I've been reading a little about celebrities and their diets, and I've got to wondering what type of feces they discharge.

Johnny Depp and Mickey Rourke's fecal matter will not be the same as Kate Middleton's. Different diets, different shaped hoops, with different histories of substance abuse/sexual intercourse etc.

So, of all the celebrities throughout history, whose stool would you love to analyse?

This would involve Q Tips, magnifying glasses, clothes hangers. No tasting or any weird stuff.

This thread is a load of shyte.

Annasopra

Deleted User wrote: »

This thread is a load of shyte.

Its the sh1ttiest thread ever on boards

Timberrrrrrrr

Celebs poo? Analyse?

Oh matron!

razorblunt

I would say Piers Morgan but thankfully his comes out his mouth for all to see.

Tell me how

I seems we're heading for a place where there is nearly a demand for a dedicated forum threads dedicated to fecal conversations.

Given the news about Alan Turing today, I'd say if he knew what computing power would be used for 50 years after his death, he mightn't have bothered.

Yer Da sells Avon

On the Bristol Stool Chart, this thread is a 7.

branie2

This stinks!

B.A._Baracus

This is weird.
You're weird op.

Former Observer

Seems no one is prepared to get down and dirty.

Ok lemme begin:

Venus Williams- Muscular woman who follows a raw vegan diet. I want to get my nose right down in that. I want to check the elasticity. I wanna stab it a few times with a Q-Tip and see how the turf fastens to the cotton bud. I've a feeling she's pumping out large, healthy, mainly odorless logs.

Steven Van Zandt - Thick, child-rearing hips and a robust gluteus maximus combined with a diet rich in red meat, carbohydrates and wine, makes me think this guy is pushing out substantial, slimy brown sausages with light marbling. A little crumbly as they hit the porcelain and slide back into the basin. Rich smell of caffeine as Steven travels a lot and is known as a coffee drinker. I'd be mashing this up with the back end of a spoon to check the texture of the core.

Pete Doherty - Anorexic, drug user with a life lacking in discipline and routine. I'd say this fellah is birthing a little nest of baby eels once or twice a week. Lots of watery liquid one day followed by hard dark pellets the next day. Smell of Kimchi and rotted flesh.

Baggly

Mod

Yeah; no thanks.

Thread closed.