When does it get weird

Rosepetals85

How long into a relationship did you meet your partners family.
Is 6 months unusual ??. She has mentioned that she needs to organize it but still never arranges anything, although she has met mine a few times.

Thanks

Caranica

Rosepetals85 wrote: »

How long into a relationship did you meet your partners family.
Is 6 months unusual ??. She has mentioned that she needs to organize it but still never arranges anything, although she has met mine a few times.

Thanks

It was over a year for me. Think we were engaged before I met them actually!

Pawwed Rig

Do they live down the road or does it take organising ie travel and flights.

wiggle16

I don't think 6 months is a long time myself, but then again I was two years into my last relationship before I met his family, and he only met mine once in the 3 years we were together. He never actually met my da.

It's not necessarily a lack of commitment, though, if that's what you're thinking. Introducing your partner to your family is one of the most awkward things imaginable for a lot of people. Your partner might be putting it off because of nerves, or maybe their family isn't very nice.

Have you actually said "I'd love to meet your family, let's organise it soon" or is it just something that's floating around there?

Rachiee

I don't think 6 months is a long time at all, particularly with internet and casual dating as it is, it would be nice to meet them somewhere between 8-12 months, maybe he doesn't like the idea of just having you over to a random Sunday lunch and wanted to wait for an event like a birthday or summer BBQ

ILoveYourVibes

I would wait until i was engaged or planning the wedding.


You want to make sure its serious this is the life partner.

Rosepetals85

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

Do they live down the road or does it take organising ie travel and flights.

They live 30 minutes from me.

Nikki Sixx

Is she from a lower income family? Maybe she doesn’t want you to see her family home? Her family could be embarrassing?

Rosepetals85

You want to make sure its serious this is the life partner.[/quote]

When I mention that I’m meeting my sibling for a drink they presumed they were invited, now I wouldn’t say no you can’t come but now I’m kinda thinking that they won’t be meeting them until I meet


No relationship is a guaranteed to go the mile.

Rosepetals85

Nikki Sixx wrote: »

Is she from a lower income family? Maybe she doesn’t want you to see her family home? Her family could be embarrassing?

Her family come from a well off area in Dublin. The father and siblings have said when are we going to meet them.

Rosepetals85

Thanks maybe because they have meet mine. In previous relationships I have met partners well before now.

Nikki Sixx

To be honest, I’d be slow to introduce my family to a new partner. With some families there are a lot of issues. With me, my parents are overbearing in many ways.

Rosepetals85

Nikki Sixx wrote: »

To be honest, I’d be slow to introduce my family to a new partner. With some families there are a lot of issues. With me, my parents are overbearing in many ways.

True, maybe I should not let them meet as much,

Dial Hard

Rosepetals85 wrote:

True, maybe I should not let them meet as much,

Why? Is there a specific issue with your family?

Every dynamic is different but if I was dating someone for 6 months for sure they would have met my family by then. We're very close and socialise together a lot, I would actually have to go out of my way to keep them separate.

Rosepetals85

Dial Hard wrote: »

Why? Is there a specific issue with your family?

Sorry, what I meant was that I will not let my partner see my family as much until I meet theirs.

woodchuck

OP there is no set timeframe for this. It just depends on what you're comfortable with as a couple.

Rosepetals85 wrote: »

Sorry, what I meant was that I will not let my partner see my family as much until I meet theirs.

I wouldn't do this. This is just playing games. Be honest with your partner. Tell them that you'd like to meet his family and suggest a date. Then follow up with him to see if he's arranged it. If it helps, maybe suggest just meeting up with siblings first if he has any.

If he has a good reason not to arrange it (e.g. poor relationship with his family) that's fair enough, but otherwise I don't think it's unreasonable to want to meet them at this stage. Tbh though, some people are just terrible at actually organising things, maybe that's all that's going on here!

LegacyUser

There is no rule OP. Everyone's family dynamic is different so what works for one person or one relationship may not suit the next. Some families are very close and involved in everyone's business while others are more stand offish, its not a comment on your relationship the if and whens you meet her family and you shouldn't start game playing but limiting time with your family. If you naturally spend time with them and include partners in those family meet ups then don't change just because her family doesn't do the same.

Rosepetals85

Thanks everyone, I’m just going go with the flow

GRACKEA

It's not necessarily a reflection on you or the strength of the relationship. Has your partner been in a good few relationships previously?

When I was living at home, I brought way more boyfriends home than my mam or dad would ever have had growing up because dating has changed now. Some were serious and some not as much.

Now that I live out of home, if my current relationship ever finished and I meet someone new, I'd actually be embarrassed to bring YET ANOTHER fella home for a long time.

Rosepetals85

Second or third relationship

MiliMe

I met my OH's parents after about 3 months, he was dropping something to them and i happened to be with him (awfully hungover and looking a state)
My sister is seeing a guy for almost 2 years now and we have not met him yet.
People are different and families have different dynamics. I'd rather not spend much time with my family, others never cut the apron strings then there's everything in between.
If it's a thing that you are interested in meeting their family then talk them that, don't play games.

SaltSweatSugar

Like most people have said, there's no set time frame. Everyone is different. The vastly different experiences people have shared here prove that. What is too soon for one person could be right for someone else.

I met my first boyfriends family about 3 months in. Our two families met about a year later when we graduated from University. We were together for about another 7 months after that before I broke it off.

I met another of my exes family after just under two months. He also met mine the same weekend. It felt like a natural progression and didn't scare me at all. It didn't feel like it was too soon, and it seemed like we were both on the same page. He broke up with me about a month later.

Did it make the breakup harder and more confusing? Of course it did. To me, meeting the family is a big deal, and I wouldn't introduce someone to my family if I didn't feel strongly about them. He told me he felt the same. With this guy, I was mad about him and thought we had serious potential. But it didn't work out. Such is life.

Would I introduce my future fella to my family as quickly next time? Maybe, maybe not. I got burned before but if it feels right, it feels right. It mightn't work out, but life is too short. I'm close to my family so I don't think I'd like to leave it too long. I certainly wouldn't like to wait until I'm engaged.

As others have also said, don't play games with your OH. If you want to meet their family, talk to them about it.

leggo

GRACKEA wrote: »

It's not necessarily a reflection on you or the strength of the relationship. Has your partner been in a good few relationships previously?

When I was living at home, I brought way more boyfriends home than my mam or dad would ever have had growing up because dating has changed now. Some were serious and some not as much.

Now that I live out of home, if my current relationship ever finished and I meet someone new, I'd actually be embarrassed to bring YET ANOTHER fella home for a long time.

Similar to this, anyone I bring home is going to be someone I'm definitely thinking about marrying, and for me even looking at it now 6 months isn't enough time to get that assuredness. You almost have to have problems with someone*, and see how you overcome them, before you can really fully assess them. Whereas in most relationships if you're having massive problems 6 months in, then that's even less of a sign they're the real deal. It can be tricky.

That's just one perspective though, and I'm not even saying it's the correct one and others are doing it the wrong way. But everyone has their own. Why not just gently ask him next time it comes up? "It's your business and not an issue, I'm just curious if there's any particular reason I haven't met your family yet?" If he feels safe and like it's not a trap question, he's likely to give you the honest answer, and it'll almost definitely be nothing to do with how he views the relationship (if everything else is going great) so at the very least you'll feel better.

*This isn't an invitation for people to say "Me and my partner have never had a fight" btw thanks.

qwerty13

I wouldn’t introduce someone to my parents unless it was quite serious. As in going the distance. And I’m not very young.

That’s not a slight on the person, or me holding them in little regard, or thinking that it won’t go the distance. Just that in my opinion, I’d need at least a year to judge that. As another poster said, enough time to see how dealing with conflict plays out.