Alternative Ireland ....

gozunda

Looking up details on the Irish fruit sector and came across this

Strawberries Market overview in Ireland

Fair enough I say - I'll take a look at that

Until I read this bit in the Intro ...

The Republic of Ireland, a country in northwestern Europe, is the capital of Dublin,

The geographical diversity of the Republic of Ireland is characterized by rugged slopes, mountainous hills especially in the western part of the country, glaciers in the central plains, a mountain range and fumes in the southern part, along with rivers such as the Shannon River in the Central Plains, River in the Republic of Ireland, and there are many of the west coast and the water cisterns are of economic importance to the state, and the climate in which temperatures are up to -5 winter, and 26 summer, and the rainfall is very much, and abundant where the large quantities fall during the winter .

The Irish Republic has a population of about 4,470,700, most of whom are Irish-born Celtic, some of whom are English-speaking in the east and south of the country. The official language is Irish, with a majority of Catholics and 70,273 square kilometers. Ireland is famous for its Celtic culture, especially Irish music. Despite its small population, Irish culture has spread widely in Europe and the world, thanks to many Irish celebrities such as Bernadette Shaw and Oscar Wilde. There are famous pop singers such as The Cours, and Yoto

So we have glaciers, fumes(?), the Shannon has moved and some speak English in the East and South, wtf is Yoto and the Cours? And Bernadette Shaw????

There are even more if you would like some other humourous descriptions ....

Of interest this pdf report appears to have been compiled by the Export Development Authority - Green Trade Initiative of Egypt - and is not a pisstake...

https://www.google.ie/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://eda-gti.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/Strawberries-market-overview-in-Ireland.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwikqbPMkKXjAhXQPsAKHSrqANEQFjADegQIAxAB&usg=AOvVaw2FrvU9QJrb2nbU-Cvl6ojC

Or Google the title to go direct to the link

Are there any other fantastical descriptions anyone has come across in official sounding documents or is this fairly unique?

Outlaw Pete

Love a bit of Yoto, me and yes, everyone knows Bernadette (George's sister) was the real talent in the Shaw family.

kneemos

Swap.

Ipso

Outlaw Pete wrote: »

Love a bit of Yoto, me and yes, everyone knows Bernadette (George's sister) was the real talent in the Shaw family.

She was a fair lady, alright.

fergus1001

I really expected this thread to be about swingers

very disappointed OP

jimgoose

That sounds perfectly accurate to me.

Badly Drunk Boy

It looks like it was translated by Google Translate.

(Was your research inspired by the Wexford strawberry thread?)

Harry Palmr

I like this bit

PEST ANALYSIS
Political Environment
The Political System in Ireland
The Republic of Ireland, a country in northwestern Europe, is the capital of Dublin, where it shares the land borders of Northern Ireland. It was established as a free Irish country in 1922 under a British-Irish treaty and is one of the 25 richest countries in the world Common

:pac:

Gregor Samsa

Funnily enough, I was just in the middle of writing up a summary of Egypt for work...

Egypt is a country in North Africa, on the coast of the Dead Sea. It has a big dessert and the River Niall flows though it, which is the biggest river in the universe. It's very hot, with temperatures of over 25 degrees most of the time. Egyptian culture is famous for its cats. The official language is Egyptish which is written in hydrophonics. Most of the people live in pyramids. Famous Egyptians include Lawrence of Arabia and The Bangles.

fergus1001

phutyle wrote: »

Funnily enough, I was just in the middle of writing up a summary of Egypt for work...

How do you know its the biggest river in the universe ??

gozunda

Badly Drunk Boy wrote: »

It looks like it was translated by Google Translate.

(Was your research inspired by the Wexford strawberry thread?)

Yeah was looking something up and was reading away and thinking - Nope this is not right lol..

Also dont reckon they were using Google translate somehow - more like some new graduate in Egypt was told go write a report on Strawberries in Ireland. And "was like Ireland - wtf?"

I love the fact we have glaciers in the Central Plains now - I'm preparing the expedition as we speak...

Just having some issues with the Huskies eating the damn strawberries ...

gozunda

phutyle wrote: »

Funnily enough, I was just in the middle of writing up a summary of Egypt for work...

Egypt is a country in North Africa, on the coast of the Dead Sea. It has a big dessert and the River Niall flows though it, which is the biggest river in the universe. It's very hot, with temperatures of over 25 degrees most of the time. Egyptian culture is famous for its cats. The official language is Egyptish which is written in hydrophonics. Most of the people live in pyramids. Famous Egyptians include Lawrence of Arabia and The Bangles.

Brillant - I think you are fully qualified for a job there tbh.

To be fair the poor lads grasp of geography is not the greatest. Not only do we now have a one island nation (with extra strawberries) but "the Republic of Ireland ... is the capital of Dublin"

Gregor Samsa

fergus1001 wrote: »

How do you know its the biggest river in the universe ??

I thought it was common knowledge because of science. Is that not right? I'd hate to have any inaccuracies in my work report.

fergus1001

phutyle wrote: »

I thought it was common knowledge because of science. Is that not right? I'd hate to have any inaccuracies in my work report.

unless you have been to every other (if any) habitable world and know its the largest, then its the largest in the world

Gregor Samsa

gozunda wrote: »

Brillant - I think you are fully qualified for a job there tbh.

To be fair the poor lads grasp of geography is not the greatest. Not only do we now have a one island nation (with extra strawberries) but "the Republic of Ireland ... is the capital of Dublin"

Looking at their map, you can clearly see the big glacier in the middle of the country, divining the Irish and English speaking sections. Obviously everything we've been told about our country up to now is a lie.

Gregor Samsa

fergus1001 wrote: »

unless you have been to every other (if any) habitable world and know its the largest, then its the largest in the world

Oh, ok. I have to confess, I haven't been to many other planets. I'll re-write my report. Would you mind telling me if it's ok now?

Egypt is a country in North Africa, on the coast of the Dead Sea. It has a big dessert and the River Niall flows though it, which is definitely the biggest river in the world, and we don't know if it's the biggest river in the universe yet. It's very hot, with temperatures of over 25 degrees most of the time. Egyptian culture is famous for its cats. The official language is Egyptish which is written in hydrophonics. Most of the people live in pyramids. Famous Egyptians include Lawrence of Arabia and The Bangles.

riffmongous

gozunda wrote: »

Yeah was looking something up and was reading away and thinking - Nope this is not right lol..

Also dont reckon they were using Google translate somehow - more like some new graduate in Egypt was told go write a report on Strawberries in Ireland. And "was like Ireland - wtf?"

I love the fact we have glaciers in the Central Plains now - I'm preparing the expedition as we speak...

Just having some issues with the Huskies eating the damn strawberries ...

Must have been reading about drumlins and assumed the glaciers were still there. FUME is probably referring to a river, the Shandon I reckon

Cours is obviously the Corrs, but Yoto.. Bono maybe?

Wdit:ok fume is definitely not river, which was covered in the next sentence

gozunda

riffmongous wrote: »

Must have been reading about drumlins and assumed the glaciers were still there. FUME is probably referring to a river, the Shandon I reckon

Cours is obviously the Corrs, but Yoto.. Bono maybe?

Wdit:ok fume is definitely not river, which was covered in the next sentence

"Yoto" = U2 phonetically I think

A "flume"  is a human-made channel for water  but a 'fume'? - No idea tbh.

In a way the description reminds me of Jonathan Swift's fictional account of the geography of the land of the Houyhnhnms and the Yahoos ...

Badly Drunk Boy

riffmongous wrote: »

Must have been reading about drumlins and assumed the glaciers were still there. FUME is probably referring to a river, the Shandon I reckon

Cours is obviously the Corrs, but Yoto.. Bono maybe?

Wdit:ok fume is definitely not river, which was covered in the next sentence

Close. I'd say it's U2 (nearly, sorta phonetically).

riffmongous

Badly Drunk Boy wrote: »

Close. I'd say it's U2 (nearly, sorta phonetically).

Well spotted

riffmongous

gozunda wrote: »

"Yoto" = U2 phonetically I think

A "flume"  is a human-made channel for water  but a 'fume'? - No idea tbh.

In a way the description reminds me of Jonathan Swifts fictional account of the geography of the land of the Houyhnhnms and the Yahoos ...

Yep you're right!

It's also a word for river in Latin which is what I was thinking of, I would guess cliffs could be a possibility but I don't see any linguistic connection there

Gregor Samsa

Could "fumes" be clouds? I haven't looked out my window in a long time, but I seem to remember Ireland having a lot of clouds.

fergus1001

phutyle wrote:

Oh, ok. I have to confess, I haven't been to many other planets. I'll re-write my report. Would you mind telling me if it's ok now?

perfect baldrick

Gregor Samsa

fergus1001 wrote: »

perfect baldrick

Excellent, I've submitted it to my boss with your suggested amendments, and just before the deadline. I just hope the Minister agrees! Thanks again!

gozunda

phutyle wrote: »

Looking at their map, you can clearly see the big glacier in the middle of the country, divining the Irish and English speaking sections. Obviously everything we've been told about our country up to now is a lie.

It's so glaringly obvious once you pointed it out tbh. Tish - all those years and we never knew.

Though tbh I'm unsure how I feel about England, Scotland and Wales actually being strawberries - I mean can you live on a strawberry? And surely it should be Stexit no?

Poor Uncle Tom

fergus1001 wrote: »

How do you know its the biggest river in the universe ??

Now look who's in denial!

fergus1001

phutyle wrote:

Excellent, I've submitted it to my boss with your suggested amendments, and just before the deadline. I just hope the Minister agrees! Thanks again!

no problem hopefully he doesn't see the spelling of the Nile :pac:

Irish Guitarist

Ireland is divided into four major and major counties, which in turn are
divided into thirty-two districts. Leinster. Monster. Ulster.

Monster is a lovely county.

Gregor Samsa

fergus1001 wrote: »

no problem hopefully he doesn't see the spelling of the Nile :pac:

I can’t believe you found not one but TWO inaccuracies in my carefully researched report!

Standman

That sounds suspiciously AI generated. For the craic, I entered part of the first sentence into this OpenAI prose generator and here's what it spit out:

The Republic of Ireland, a country in northwestern Europe, is set to start building four new nuclear power reactors on its territory, according to a confidential document published by nuclear security and engineering firm Accenture.

The document, dated April 15 and released during New Year's Eve festivities, warns of the potential threat from nuclear weapons if the region does not increase its use of its natural gas resources.

The U.S. Nuclear Regulatory Commission has yet to issue a ruling on whether the Irish reactors should restart, according to the report in the London-based BusinessWeek magazine.

The report comes after an independent report released two weeks ago questioned the reliability and suitability of the latest generation of nuclear reactor designs, including a proposed 640-megawatt Unit 4 built in Japan.

At the time of Ireland's announcement, the island's electricity network had about 3.7 terawatt-hours of electricity capacity at night, the equivalent of over 50,000 homes, and over 50 miles (80 kilometers) of electricity, according to the report, which concluded that additional nuclear capacity "was needed. For Ireland, this means a large capacity reactor."

But the U.S. Nuclear Regulatory Commission, which regulates the U.S. market for nuclear power plants, has said it may take more than three years for regulators to fully evaluate the nuclear fuel cycle with regards

Has similar hallmarks, although if anything this AI slightly less nonsensical than what they might have used.

Squeeonline

My favourite bit


The whole thing reeks of being written by AI. No way any sane human from the West allowed this out.

gozunda

Its published online by the Export Development Authority - Green Trade Initiative of Egypt

If you go to the website - theres a load of other reports on different aspects of horticulture etc for other countries. A lot of the links appear to be broken- but if you Google the titles directly you can access them.

Graduate jobsworthy who couldn't be arsed with the job in hand and used an AI app or ?

amadangomor

gozunda wrote: »

Its published online by the Export Development Authority - Green Trade Initiative of Egypt

If you go to the website - theres a load of other reports on different aspects of horticulture etc for other countries. A lot of the links appear to be broken- but if you Google the titles directly you can access them.

Graduate jobsworthy who couldn't be arsed with the job in hand and used an AI app or ?

Or google translate or another translator doing a really crappy translation from the original Arabic which was probably copied and pasted from Wiki or some such