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I might have been recorded by this guy I met from a dating website

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  • 03-07-2019 3:12pm
    #1
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭


    I am not sure it happened, but K and me we started talking some time ago and he was very sweet online, we exchanged numbers and began messaging. It quickly turned into sexual talk, mostly where he kept saying he wanted to make me his sex slave but yeah just dirty talking, he wanted me to be his slut. We talked on the phone, we met, we had sex and he was nice, we message each other during the day and also at night when the topic usually turns dirty. I told him I’m his slut. I tell him when I touch myself. But I saw his phone once when he was in the bathroom and there was a whatsapp saying “did you get a video of this one too?” From some weird Arab name, he is also not Irish. I was too scared to even ask what that was about, since I shoud’t be checking hisphone anyways. What should I do?


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    #2
    antix80
    Registered Users Posts: 2,419 ✭✭✭antix80


    What is it with checking people's phones?

    Look, you don't trust this guy and it sounds like he's up to no good. Trust your gut and don't meet him again. No one knows if he "recorded" you. Hopefully he didn't and that will be the end of the matter.


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    #3
    Telly
    Registered Users Posts: 520 ✭✭✭Telly


    He's not going to admit it now if you ask him and will turn it back on you. Time to walk away.


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    #4
    tony1kenobi
    Registered Users Posts: 3,748 ✭✭✭tony1kenobi


    Why wouldn’t they be messaging in Arabic? I don’t think you have anything to be concerned about.


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    #5
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    tony1kenobi wrote: »
    Why wouldn’t they be messaging in Arabic? I don’t think you have anything to be concerned about.

    I’m not sure if the other guy is Arab, it was fast but his name also looked Middle Eastern.


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    #6
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    antix80 wrote: »
    What is it with checking people's phones?

    Look, you don't trust this guy and it sounds like he's up to no good. Trust your gut and don't meet him again. No one knows if he "recorded" you. Hopefully he didn't and that will be the end of the matter.

    I was wondering if anyone else had experienced a similar situation.


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    #7
    SusieBlue
    Registered Users Posts: 8,029 ✭✭✭SusieBlue


    He sounds like bad news. I would cut contact with him.


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    #8
    zapper55
    Registered Users Posts: 684 ✭✭✭zapper55


    It must be incredibly stressful.thinking that's someone else potentially has a video of you. Many of the posters above have been quite dismissive of this worry.

    Hopefully he doesn't.

    But before you cut contact, if it was me I'd send a text and say I hear you take video's of girl's you've slept with. This is illegal and can land you in prison.

    If he didn't he has nothing to fear, if he has it'll make him think twice about circulating it.


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    #9
    Irishphotodesk
    Registered Users Posts: 1,896 ✭✭✭Irishphotodesk


    zapper55 wrote: »
    It must be incredibly stressful.thinking that's someone else potentially has a video of you. The posters above have been quite dismissive of this worry.

    Hopefully he doesn't.

    But before you cut contact, if it was me I'd send a text and say I hear you take video's of girl's you've slept with. This is illegal and can land you in prison.

    If he didn't he has nothing to fear, if he has it'll make him think twice about circulating it.

    Sorry, I have to correct you here, the type of person who secretly records sex acts usually isn't frightened by a threat of being brought to court until it actually happens.

    OP, if this guy has recorded you ... There isn't a whole lot you can do, unless it is put online and you discover it.

    There are plenty of sites to find doms/subs - but it's entirely possible that any potential partner could try to record video of you both, it seems to be common enough these days, I would suggest that if you are up for it , you allow your phone to be used to record it, so you have control over what happens to the file afterwards.

    With the Dom you met, it's possible he may not have recorded you, but it's also possible that he did, so .... Taking control of the situation is difficult for a submissive but it can be empowering.


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    #10
    never_mind
    Registered Users Posts: 915 ✭✭✭never_mind


    Irishphotodesk wrote: »
    Sorry, I have to correct you here, the type of person who secretly records sex acts usually isn't frightened by a threat of being brought to court until it actually happens.

    OP, if this guy has recorded you ... There isn't a whole lot you can do, unless it is put online and you discover it.

    There are plenty of sites to find doms/subs - but it's entirely possible that any potential partner could try to record video of you both, it seems to be common enough these days, I would suggest that if you are up for it , you allow your phone to be used to record it, so you have control over what happens to the file afterwards.

    With the Dom you met, it's possible he may not have recorded you, but it's also possible that he did, so .... Taking control of the situation is difficult for a submissive but it can be empowering.

    Sorry... but what?

    OP, draw a line under it. The internet is FULL of porn - chances are if it did get uploaded that it would just be a tiny speck in the internet universe. Don't contact him again and just forget about it.


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    #11
    wiggle16
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 3,022 Mod ✭✭✭✭wiggle16


    Mod note:

    Irishphotodesk, the OP is asking for advice because they believe someone may have recorded them without their knowledge during sex. The OP is not asking for advice about BDSM. I have also deleted your last post as it offered no advice to the OP.

    Posters are reminded to stay on topic and have advice for the OP when they post.

    Thanks.


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    #12
    bilbot79
    Registered Users Posts: 1,989 ✭✭✭bilbot79


    Check his phone for the video


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    #13
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    As per all the advice, the reality is you are going to cut contact with him now.

    And for that reason you have little to lose. I would literally doorstep him, tell him you know he took a video and that you spoke about it to your garda friend who advised you he would be arrested if you report it. Don't give him any time to think, tell him you want to see it deleted from his phone and the cloud in front of your eyes that second.

    Actually, tell him to hand his phone over or cops are coming. Nothing to lose.


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    #14
    antix80
    Registered Users Posts: 2,419 ✭✭✭antix80


    [Deleted User] wrote: »
    Actually, tell him to hand his phone over or cops are coming. Nothing to lose.

    Except a few teeth.

    Probably the worst advice I saw on here in a while.


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    #15
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    antix80 wrote: »
    Except a few teeth.

    Probably the worst advice I saw on here in a while.

    Oh come on, losing teeth is probably the last thing that would happen. He's done wrong, knows he's done wrong and is on the backfoot, a movie might suggest he would lash out but the reality is he will be terrified and will want to make it go away

    And if the goal is to ensure it doesn't get on the internet then you let him know that it will come back on him hard if it does. Sometimes you have to be assertive and threaten the base instinct of survival and freedom


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