Over Hearing Bad Mouthing !!

jungatheart

I live on a small street and the woman around corner in next street is very pass remarkable on everyone else’s house - to a crazy level, some of it is comical but this evening I was in my car sorting out some papers and she passed by my house with her husband and said “oh look she’s half mad, thsnk god she doesn’t live next door to us.” My madness is a bright red door, a wind chime, a gecko ornament and two window boxes which are full to brine with nastariums at the moment. I don’t have much money but I’ve done some work since I moved in to make it my own - I’ve just gotten divorced from a really abusive person so having my own space means a huge amount to me. So I will be honest, the rational part of me goes she’s just a nasty busy body but I got really upset and sat crying in the car. I don’t know if I should say something when I see her, she will probably deny it. She saw me in the car just as she passed by this evening. Why are people such mean busy bodies and how to get over the urge to ask her why she said what she said or just play it cool with her from now on and let her realise herself over time if she has any self awareness.

kippy

You cannot control her or her opinions. Indeed what does her opinion matter to you.
Don't engage. Don't rise to it. Just be civil.

The Bishop Basher

Her behavior is a reflection on her, not you.

It sounds like you’ve made some incredible progress in your life and you have every reason to stand tall and proud.

Some people will always find something nasty to say. Don’t give them any of your energy.

They just aren’t worth it.

Panthro

Take a step back and think "the local lip has an opinion of me, big whoop!"
Its not worth your time fretting over it.
There's plenty of other things in your life deserving of your time, this ain't one of them.
Chin up, onward and upward!

Kidchameleon

Why do you care? No really, its a non issue so stop worrying.

Ursus Horribilis

I wouldn't give the old trout the satisfaction of knowing her words made an impact. If she's as pass remarkable as you say she is, then there are going to be plenty of people who dread the sight of her. They probably don't even bother listening to what she's on about half the time. She probably barely remembers what she said about you either. People like her lack self-awareness so she's not going to figure out you overheard her. I suppose if you feel you have to say something, it'd be better to incorporate that "half mad" comment into some sort of sarcastic sentence to let her know you know. Whether she'd twig it or even feel shame is another matter.

You can't control what she says or does. But you can work on yourself to help you rebuild your life. Well done on having the courage to leave your ex and start a new life. That is something much more impressive than being the local commentator. I bet she doesn't have much good to say about anybody. What this wagon said is a small setback. It does not define you. Youre much much more than a red door and a window box

irishlady29

You are rebuilding your life after you abusive relationship, try not let the likes of that unpleasant person upset you. Be proud of what you have achieved. I have a similar neighbour. I have mastered the "hello walking away fast" to a fine art. She is the local "sky news".
Keep focusing on you. Forget about her.

dellas1979

Ah-life always giving us lessons.

If you were in a good head space, you wouldnt react to this. At most you might think "what an ejit", have a snigger (that someone would actually say something like that, to me, is hilarious, and shows me who they are/where their head is) and let it go immediately.

Youre reaction I think is coming from a place of vulnerability and finding your feet. Maybe a lack of confidence (in who you are).

They are all things to refind!

Always Tired

She sounds awful. But I think the recent events have you feeling more sensitive which is understandable.

Find a company online that sends out free catalogs for sex toys or something like that and send a few to her address.

Hannibal_Smith

Could be worse OP, you could be living next door to her.

Some people are very pass- remarkable. Generally the mouthier they the more insecure they are themselves. Let it wash over you. I wouldn't say anything to her. Just be aware that that's what she's like so be careful with her.

sashafierce

I read something earlier that made me think it was "what other people think of us is non of our business"

It's difficult and you'd wanna just shout at her and ask her why she said that but it won't resolve anything.

messy tessy

Kidchameleon wrote: »

Why do you care? No really, its a non issue so stop worrying.

Exactly! I read something before that went like 'don't take criticism from someone you wouldn't go to for advice!'

MissShihTzu

The old bag has no life. That's why she feels she can comment on everyone else's...

Ignore her. If she's bright enough to say something to your face (she won't) say something like - 'I didn't do my house up to please you!' Or sarcastically say 'I'm so glad you like it. Great minds think alike!'

bertsmom

Don't mind the auld weapon, people who pass such remarks generally have such tiny lives themselves that they notice EVERYTHING around them.
I think these people normally don't have a true friend as they are so negative and energy zapping. Chances are everyone avoids her or takes no notice of any of the nonsense she spouts.
Your house front sounds lovely by the way it's the differences in all our houses that makes each one OUR home.

wiggle16

Pay her no mind OP. You know yourself no matter what your house looked like she would be making a comment about it. I feel very sorry for her husband - he has to live with her, never mind next door to her or a street over.

I love nasturtiums, so I'm sure your house looks great! Don't mind her

ManOfMystery

Don't be upset OP. In fact, take it as a compliment. It's much more fun being "half-mad" as she puts it, than a boring self-righteous old busybody like her.

You like to make your own mark on things, inevitably someone somewhere will not agree with your choices but you need to let this wash over you like water off a duck's back. Their disapproval means that you stand out from the crowd - so embrace the fact that you aren't invisible.

Fakediamond

I don’t know how old you are, jungatheart, but I am of an age now where I’d be delighted to be described as half-mad for being quirkily different. The outside of your house (to me) reflects a creativity that I wish I had more of.

Don’t mind that woman, some people really need to put others down to feel better about themselves. She has her own problems, you don’t need to be drawing her on you by saying anything to her.

zapper55

She actually sounds a bit jealous, that she doesn't have the bravery or imagination to do her house up nicely, that's maybe a bit different.

Like a previous poster I'd be quite delighted to be described as half mad by the local gossipy biddy, shows you are doing something right!

Rubberchikken

always ignore people like that.
jealousy shows in many ways. pay no notice to her and her bile.