Motivate and life

LegacyUser

Hi

so this is a funny one and I'm wondering has anyone found themselves in this situation and what they to get them selves out of a funk.

Basically, I'm mid thirties and bored, unmotivated and to be honest lazy!

I have a incredibly boring job that I've been trying to get out of for a number of years, I've upskilled and applying but where I live there is limited amont of job out there, I will without a doubt have to commute which I've come to terms with but yet can't seem to get my foot in the door - I've sent CVs out on spec too.

I have no love life, as in non existent. I've tried dating apps, numerous ones and blind dates, speed dating etc. I have no problem approaching guys of my own back but I seem to meet assholes or guys that aren't interested in me. I tend to get on with everyone so I chat away no problem with males and females. I really want to meet someone but everytime I put myself out there I get knocked back, its emotionally draining.

I have worked so hard on myself over the years, built up my confidence and am finally happy and in such a good place even though my life feels like its at a standstill.

I do Reiki and meditation. I used to be really into the gym and would joining anything to volunteer or get out there. However, over the last 2 years, I've started pilling on the weight and have lost all interest in doing stuff, I do think a lot of it comes down to how boring my job is.

Anyone else have advice? I just feel I work so hard on myself and am a good, nice person but thing just don't work out for me like they do for others and I don't know how to change it around. I would generally be a positive person but very realistic and observant which sometimes I think it's be easier if I wasn't.

Anyways sorry for the long post. Any advice would be massively appreciated.

jcorr

goingroundincircles wrote: »

Hi

so this is a funny one and I'm wondering has anyone found themselves in this situation and what they to get them selves out of a funk.

Basically, I'm mid thirties and bored, unmotivated and to be honest lazy!

I have a incredibly boring job that I've been trying to get out of for a number of years, I've upskilled and applying but where I live there is limited amont of job out there, I will without a doubt have to commute which I've come to terms with but yet can't seem to get my foot in the door - I've sent CVs out on spec too.

I have no love life, as in non existent. I've tried dating apps, numerous ones and blind dates, speed dating etc. I have no problem approaching guys of my own back but I seem to meet assholes or guys that aren't interested in me. I tend to get on with everyone so I chat away no problem with males and females. I really want to meet someone but everytime I put myself out there I get knocked back, its emotionally draining.

I have worked so hard on myself over the years, built up my confidence and am finally happy and in such a good place even though my life feels like its at a standstill.

I do Reiki and meditation. I used to be really into the gym and would joining anything to volunteer or get out there. However, over the last 2 years, I've started pilling on the weight and have lost all interest in doing stuff, I do think a lot of it comes down to how boring my job is.

Anyone else have advice? I just feel I work so hard on myself and am a good, nice person but thing just don't work out for me like they do for others and I don't know how to change it around. I would generally be a positive person but very realistic and observant which sometimes I think it's be easier if I wasn't.

Anyways sorry for the long post. Any advice would be massively appreciated.

I'd say get back on the aul exercise if you can at all. If you find it difficult to do it by yourself try to find a running buddy or someone who can be like a motivator.

Maybe on the job front, if it's an option, move city? I know it's difficult to pick up and leave but maybe you will feel more energy for it if your doing the above.

antix80

Op, i could have written your post. I attempted the commute loads of times but never liked a job enough to warrant leaving the house at 7 and not getting home til 7pm. I'm single and not in a relationship. I have a house (a blessing and a curse) and my parents, siblings and their families live nearby. I've good friends and have been good gym-wise this past 9 months.

For me, i think the solution will eventually be to leave. Move to another city, probably abroad, with more opportunities and less ties.

Graces7

Are you trying too hard?

When I was at uni and we were all seeking jobs, the mantra was that you either found fulfilment in your job, or used the job to keep you fed etc and lived for the hours you were not working.

Maybe join something outside work? I gather weightwatchers can be great?

Or volunteer?

LegacyUser

My dad was like this in his mid 40s - boring job with long ass commute that left him with no social life. He put off doing anything for years as 'he had a family to support' eventual told him we wanted him happy regardless of the impact on the family so he ended up doing aid work overseas for over a decade and he was never happier. Try and think outside the conventional roles for the skills you have. You'd be surprise what you can turn your hand to if you only think about it. My dad had civil service job so he was able to move to the UN civil service.

Maybe speak to a life coach or similar - think of the positives your young, fit and unattached so could go do anything really.