Age to leave kids on their own overnight

joe40

As the title says I'm interested in peoples opinion on what age you would leave two children (teenagers) on their own overnight.
They are mature and trustworthy (I know every parent thinks that) and we would be within an hour driving distance.

Any thoughts?

Eireog1

It depends on their location. Rural or Urban? I think 16 is acceptable in a rural area as they cant get up to much trouble. Urban I'm not sure but I suppose 17 as they are nearly adults at that stage anyway

seamus

If you were going to be out late (e.g. back at 1am), would you trust them on the house in their own? I guess that's the main measure, right?

Seeing as you're only an hour away, and if you have someone close by that they can call if they get into trouble (like a neighbour or a relative), then I think 15 or 16 should be fine for an overnight.

You have to go by what you know yourself of their cop on. A guy I know was left with a free gaff at 15 once and decided to tell everyone in his school to come over. End result is that a couple of local heads got wind that there was a free gaff filled with 15 year olds, pushed their way in, stole everything of value and made sh1t of the house. Eventually the son called someone who managed to clear the house out, but only when the damage had been done.

But that guy had a long record of bad judgement and poor cop on, so it was his parents' fault for trusting him tbh.

One eyed Jack

joe40 wrote: »

Any thoughts?

Depends on how comfortable you are with the idea yourself really. I personally wouldn’t be comfortable with it. I know my child is mature enough for his age and trustworthy insofar as I know he would make sure the place wasn’t wrecked if he had friends over, but at the same time it wouldn’t really be him or his friends I’d be conscious of, but rather the idea of if anything unforeseen did happen and I wasn’t there at the time.

beertons

I was 17 when my parents started going abroad on holidays, or away down the country. Had the family business to look after too.

Thoie

On average I'd say 16, provided there's a friendly neighbour or someone close by for emergencies. I managed to set the chimney on fire once, and my parents were only gone out for an hour or so.

joe40

Thanks for all the answers. The kids are girl 15 and boy 13. I have left them plenty of times for nights out where we are back 1 to 2 am with no bother.

They are good kid, even if I do say so myself, I 100% know there would be no friends around. House is in the countryside.

Not sure yet but might chance it this summer.

red petal

joe40 wrote: »

Thanks for all the answers. The kids are girl 15 and boy 13. I have left them plenty of times for nights out where we are back 1 to 2 am with no bother.

They are good kid, even if I do say so myself, I 100% know there would be no friends around. House is in the countryside.

Not sure yet but might chance it this summer.

At that age I personally would not leave them alone for the night. There's more to think about than their behaviour. What if there was an accident, a break in or just that they were a little scared?

Each to their own but it wouldn't be me!

is_that_so

joe40 wrote: »

Thanks for all the answers. The kids are girl 15 and boy 13. I have left them plenty of times for nights out where we are back 1 to 2 am with no bother.

They are good kid, even if I do say so myself, I 100% know there would be no friends around. House is in the countryside.

Not sure yet but might chance it this summer.

Probably a little bit young but ultimately your call on how it work for you. Was left at home at 15 but in different safer times.

joe40

red petal wrote: »

At that age I personally would not leave them alone for the night. There's more to think about than their behaviour. What if there was an accident, a break in or just that they were a little scared?

Each to their own but it wouldn't be me!

That would be my concern too. I'm totally confident on behaviour issues it is other things that may crop up, especially accident of fire. Thanks

Anne_cordelia

joe40 wrote: »

Thanks for all the answers. The kids are girl 15 and boy 13. I have left them plenty of times for nights out where we are back 1 to 2 am with no bother.

They are good kid, even if I do say so myself, I 100% know there would be no friends around. House is in the countryside.

Not sure yet but might chance it this summer.

Too young IMO. It’s a big responsibility and not fair on the kids yet.

shesty

Iffy on the 15 year old, no on the 13 year old.
Your 15 year old may not like being left alone for a night either in the middle of the country....I would probably give it another year at least.

happywithlife

No 15 & 13 too young imo
I was left in charge of 3 younger siblings - one specical needs - and a dairy farm at that age and it was fairly ****ty parenting imo
Remember my sister staying in the house one night on her own in her very late teens / early 20's and there was a break in. Only that the door to the room they broke into was locked I shudder to think what could have happened.
13 is very young to leave alone overnight and I don't think its fair to put the burden on a 15 year old. Its the what if? If anything did happen?

GarIT

18

happywithlife

Is there an older cousin of theirs maybe that could stay over as a compromise

GarIT

is_that_so wrote: »

Was left at home at 15 but in different safer times.

There has never been a safer time than now. Crime can go up or down year to year but it is safer now than it was 10 years ago, 10 years ago was safer than 10 years before that etc. Crime reporting is up, reports of children being harmed is massively up in the media but actual incidents are down.

I'd also feel much safer with them in an urban area compared to rural like most people here seem to think. Neighbours around to see smoke, hear an alarm, notice someone breaking in a window. Gardaí 3-4 minutes away. Vs rural where the Gardaí are an hour away and there aren't any neighbours to see or hear anything. Obviously there is an inbetween somewhere.

lazygal

I was left at home for a weekend when I was 16. I had a summer job and was delighted to have the place to myself. I was a boring teenager, the height of my social life that weekend was having a friend over for a pizza one evening. Difference was we lived in Dublin and were close to neighbours and I would have been able to dash into at least four families I knew within a minute. I also wasn't responsible for a sibling. Wouldn't have been left in an isolated setting with a 13 year old by any stretch.
Agree the world is very safe and things would probably be fine but there's always that chance they won't be.

harr

I was 15 when my parents left me on my own, i had a younger brother who was left with grandparents. I had a good head on my shoulders mind. I think some teenagers these days are mollycoddled and probably would not be capable of looking after themselves.
So I think 13 is to young and 15 is fine once you know they can be responsible.

JustAThought

I'd kinda say not. Is there someone that can sleep over or can they sleep over elsewhere? Its not just the risk snd responsibility but what a 15 yo can access on the internet or get up to at that age. 12 or 18 hours is a long time for things to wind and ramp up and that can escallate quickly with teenagers. I still remember the free-gaff frenzy & pretend innocence & maturity!Eberyone in the school would know the house was 'empty'. I'd roll in the granny /overnighter or see if there was a recripocal family who might need an overnight themselves & do a swapsie sleepover/mind!

GalwayGrrrrrl

It’s the 15 year old being responsible for the 13 year old that worries me. I’d leave them for a few hours but not overnight- it just seems a little too young.

shesty

This is it.I think the 15 year old would be ok and even better if there were very close neighbours around.But being responsible for the 13 year old and in a rural setting could be very stressful for them both, never mind the what ifs about everything that might happen.It's more that for me too.

id have been 11 or 12 when left with younger siblings and thats obv far too young (then and now)

i think 15 in charge of 13 is strictly ok but the what-ifs are the thing.

another year, with a few trial runs of leaving them a few late nights to themselves maybe?

killanena

I stayed home alone for 3 days when I was 15 as my parents had a wedding to attend over in the UK. Live in a decent sized town. But I had neighbours on both sides that called in a few times daily to see how I was or if I needed anything.

Only mischief I got up to was on the first night I drank 3 cans of my father's cider in the fridge and got smashed lol.

joe40

Thanks for all the responses, much appreciated and there seems to be a fairly definite consensus here.
(I may have to get advice elsewhere maybe after hours...lol)

I take everyone point that they are still a bit young, my wife was inclined to feel the same but open to discussion. I'm just not sure.
The kids themselves are happy enough with the idea.

The one aspect where I would differ from a lot of posters is the idea of leaving both kids as opposed to just the older child. I would not leave the 15 year old on her own without her brother (aged 13). Together they are company for each other, as opposed to feeling responsible for her brother she would prefer that he is there.

They already have experience of been left alone for a few hours at night time, the 15 year old has actually done babysitting for younger cousins.

Thanks again for the advice.

I do feel they would be ok but the unknowns are the problem.

bladespin

It really depends on the kids themselves not their age so much (though 13 would be too young IMO), heads screwed on, careful etc.

AndrewJRenko

GarIT wrote: »

T

I'd also feel much safer with them in an urban area compared to rural like most people here seem to think. Neighbours around to see smoke, hear an alarm, notice someone breaking in a window. Gardaí 3-4 minutes away. Vs rural where the Gardaí are an hour away and there aren't any neighbours to see or hear anything. Obviously there is an inbetween somewhere.

Unless you're talking about a house already under observation for a gang fued, Gardai will be an awful lot more than four minutes away.

GarIT

AndrewJRenko wrote: »

Unless you're talking about a house already under observation for a gang fued, Gardai will be an awful lot more than four minutes away.

That's been my experience but others may vary

happywithlife

Everybody is focusing on the kids & something happening to them. The other side is something happening to the parents. No-one plans an accident but imagine the 2 children at home and the parents are involved in a fatal / life altering accident? Doesn't bear thinking about either

harr

happywithlife wrote: »

Everybody is focusing on the kids & something happening to them. The other side is something happening to the parents. No-one plans an accident but imagine the 2 children at home and the parents are involved in a fatal / life altering accident? Doesn't bear thinking about either

If we were all to think that way we wouldn’t leave the house as a couple at all. Yes it does happen unfortunately but we cannot put our lives on hold because of what ifs ...

happywithlife

harr wrote: »

happywithlife wrote: »

Everybody is focusing on the kids & something happening to them. The other side is something happening to the parents. No-one plans an accident but imagine the 2 children at home and the parents are involved in a fatal / life altering accident? Doesn't bear thinking about either

If we were all to think that way we wouldn’t leave the house as a couple at all. Yes it does happen unfortunately but we cannot put our lives on hold because of what ifs ...

No I agree with you in principle but it IS another consideration for this particular conversation - or at least it would be for me.
Maybe I'm morbid like that. I'm that kind of person who made a will in their 20's & took out life assurance (when we'd our first child) I've a living will with my wishes stated (for what its worth) and I've had the 'donate any/all organs' discussion with my hubby & sister. I'm happier that they're done, I can park the issue & get on with life. I'm not worried about the what it's but have thought them

Dr Turk Turkelton

happywithlife wrote: »

No I agree with you in principle but it IS another consideration for this particular conversation - or at least it would be for me.
Maybe I'm morbid like that. I'm that kind of person who made a will in their 20's & took out life assurance (when we'd our first child) I've a living will with my wishes stated (for what its worth) and I've had the 'donate any/all organs' discussion with my hubby & sister. I'm happier that they're done, I can park the issue & get on with life. I'm not worried about the what it's but have thought them

Username checks out [x]

seamus

I'm 37 with two kids and we still haven't gotten around to making a will. :E

Realistically if anything were to happen to the parents, the Gardai will ascertain their identity and then seek out an address and/or next-of-kin. So the kids wouldn't be at home forgotten about, some poor Garda would have to knock on the door in the middle of the night and break the news to them.