Thinking of asking my roommate out.

ILoveYourVibes

We've been sharing for nearly a year. She wasn't single when I first moved in and I met her girlfriend a few times. I still see her sometimes because they remained friends. But they broke up four months ago.

When she was in a couple we were just roommates but when her relationship started to go bad at the end we became closer friends. I would cook for her whereas before we cooked and ate separately. We started doing daytrips and even went on a weekend away together. She didn't break up because of anything to do with me though. We were still just friends at this stage.

When she broke up it actually made our relationship more platonic because she wasn't really looking for anything. I wasn't thinking about it then either.

We just became ride or dies. But then three weeks ago we kissed and were a bit intimate. She has previously said she would not have a serious relationship with a bi girl. I don't really take that seriously though.

Since we kissed we have seemed closer but i didn't expect anything.

I was thinking of asking her out on a serious date somewhere nice.I think she will say yes.

I am just worried she will think oh its too much after her last relationship to go into another one (she was with that girl for 8 yrs) and she will feel i expect something of her. I just want her to feel comfortable. I don't want her to feel awkward around the apartment etc.

If she says she wants to keep it casual i will still love her as my friend.

And thank you for all replies.

leggo

Read the title and thought, “Absolute disaster waiting to happen, nope.” Then read that you kissed and it probably would be the better move to just ask her out and get whatever feelings on the table, for better or worse. If you both like each other, stuff will just happen anyway and not addressing it leaves room for messiness. If it’s a no, then you can deal with it and not have to live in sexual tension and anxiety. Just say all the stuff you’ve said here if you need to.

Paddy Cow

“Absolute disaster waiting to happen, nope.” Sums it up nicely. She was in a relationship for 8 years. You don't get over that in 4 months. No way would I get myself entangled with someone just out of a LTR. Just because you kissed, don't mean she's over her ex. Keep her as a friend and give her time to let her emotions settle. The last thing you want is to be the rebound relationship and lose her friendship when it all goes pear shaped.

irishgirl19

I know 2 house mates who got married .
But it is risky. If feelings aren't reciprocated then it will be very uncomfortable living together I'd imagine after asking her out

WIZWEB

Hi OP,

I got out of a similar length relationship as your flatmate a few years ago. I needed a long time to heal before taking dating seriously again. She expresses a problem about you being bisexual which is possibly based on either a former experience or even just a polite excuse that she's not interested. Either way you have to respect her wishes.

One thing you both have is time and pushing things may cost you your friendship. Have the conversation if you need to but whatever response you get respect it.