Started a new job and panicking slightly

Shelga

So, I’ve left a job that was a bit meh, pay not great, to go to a place where I thought there’d be more opportunity to progress, and the pay is significantly better.

The thing is, I’ve just had my first week and I’m panicking a bit. Most people on my team are extremely young and I just worry I’ll be a bit isolated. I’m also not sure I’ll like the work that much. To be honest, my head was turned by the pay, pay it would take 2-3 years to reach in my old place, and I’m not sure I thought about the day-to-day tasks enough. My old job was more interesting on paper, but the team was highly chaotic and I felt like they didn’t value me at all and kinda treated me like a secretary. But the team was bigger and had far more people my age, and I’d just settled in at last.

I dunno, I’m just worried I rushed it. I don’t want to chop and change jobs constantly as I’ve done that a bit too much in the past few years. But I don’t want to feel like I’m staring down a 2 year sentence here before I can leave again.

Any advice?

ILoveYourVibes

You won't be isolated. Friendship and socializing doesn't have an age requirement.

Don't over think it.

Congrats on the new job!

ncmc

One week is way too soon to make a call on a new job. I think most people feel overwhelmed in the first couple of weeks in a new job, between meeting new people, learning new tasks etc. It can take weeks or months to settle in. Give yourself a couple of months before making any rash decisions. I wouldn’t worry about the others being younger, I’ve had great friends in work who were both a lot older and a lot younger. If you’re still really unhappy in a few months then you can consider your options. I wouldn’t stay somewhere you were very unhappy for two years just to improve how it looks on your CV. If you have a good track record of staying a long time in places, then one short stint shouldn’t set alarm bells off. You can always explain to future employers that the job wasn’t what you expected or wasn’t a good fit.

laradevire

I'm 23 and hate socializing with work.

I'm there for career purposes and money. I don't want any more friends. I'll talk and grab lunch with them, but I've no interest in being with them outside work.

Wanderer2010

laradevire wrote: »

I'm 23 and hate socializing with work.

I'm there for career purposes and money. I don't want any more friends. I'll talk and grab lunch with them, but I've no interest in being with them outside work.

+1.

Some people think its so odd not to socialize with your workmates or look at you like you are crazy if you don't attend the annual work party. My view on that is if you don't like the people you work with but have friends you like outside of work, its perfectly acceptable to just be professional to your workmates, have a bit of small talk to pass yourself and do your job but there is no requirement to be friends with them at all. A simple concept lost on so many people...

OP this is so, so normal that if a person *didn't* feel some element of it id question them

give yourself some time. not "wait out a period in misery" but actually and consciously allow yourself to be clueless and new and starting from scratch. ask all the stupid questions, try to do as much as you can while avoiding serious mistakes, learn it all without kicking yourself.

six months will fly, you wont know anything about how you're getting on til then whatever happens, so spend it wisely and not second-guessing yourself

friendship with new colleagues will come the same way- with time.

laradevire

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

+1.

Some people think its so odd not to socialize with your workmates or look at you like you are crazy if you don't attend the annual work party. My view on that is if you don't like the people you work with but have friends you like outside of work, its perfectly acceptable to just be professional to your workmates, have a bit of small talk to pass yourself and do your job but there is no requirement to be friends with them at all. A simple concept lost on so many people...

Yep, that's me. I have my friends outside work who I see quite often, I have no desire to make for friends. It's important everyone a team gets on, but you don't need to be involved in their lives.

banie01

It can take months to settle into a new role and new people.
Ideally you will be open and approachable, and your new workmates will reciprocate.
Ask for help on tasks you are not 100% on and chat!
If they lunch as a group, try and join them.
So many work place friendships start in the canteen..

Good luck in the new job

Ursus Horribilis

Sounds like you're panicking a bit because you've been taken out of your comfort zone and lost the support system you had. Going by what you told us about your old job. it wasn't all that great apart from the team you had around you. Unless there is something you're not telling us here, there's no reason why you can't settle in and build a rapport with your new colleagues. It might take a little bit longer to find common ground with these younger people but it's eminently doable. You're not used to working with people much younger than you are and they're probably in the same boat with older people. Maybe you're a bit set in your ways and having some younger people in your life could freshen things up a bit?

bertsmom

laradevire wrote:

Yep, that's me. I have my friends outside work who I see quite often, I have no desire to make for friends. It's important everyone a team gets on, but you don't need to be involved in their lives.

This 100%. Cannot understand why people want to be friends with people who they work with. I have plenty friends i love to see and would find it hard enough to make time to spend with them why would I want to spend even more of my time with colleagues.
I do see people at work though who seem to confuse being friendly towards them for us being friends so I make sure to not chop and change I just across the board do not socialise with work colleagues ie. weddings etc and get on grand with everyone and don't have to deal with work politics.

Shelga

Thanks for the advice, it has helped. It’s not that I need to be friends with my colleagues, I wasn’t ‘friends’ per se with any of them really in the last place. It’s more the age thing, and finding it easier to find common ground with people my age.

I’m feeling more positive about things now, I can use this role as a better-paid springboard while I figure out what I want in the next 3-5 years of my career. It doesn’t have to be my dream job, it’s good for now.

Ursus Horribilis

I don't get the "I'm just here to work" brigade either. I'm long enough working to know that work friendships rarely become lasting ones on the outside. Or indeed, believe that everyone should become best buddies and hang out once 5.00 comes. Still, I think having work friends (for want of a better description) is a good thing. We spend long enough in work so having people you can chat to or go for lunch with is nice. And if course it can be helpful for doing the job itself. Maybe learning to work with these younger people will turn out to be an invaluable skill for you.

Shelga

Ursus Horribilis wrote: »

I don't get the "I'm just here to work" brigade either. I'm long enough working to know that work friendships rarely become lasting ones on the outside. Or indeed, believe that everyone should become best buddies and hang out once 5.00 comes. Still, I think having work friends (for want of a better description) is a good thing. We spend long enough in work so having people you can chat to or go for lunch with is nice. And if course it can be helpful for doing the job itself. Maybe learning to work with these younger people will turn out to be an invaluable skill for you.

This is exactly what I think! I'm not someone who has a work 'persona', I'm the same person outside and inside work. I agree with you, I'm no longer naive enough to think I'll stay in touch with the vast majority of people I've worked with, but being able to have a chat about the news or go for lunch and make conversation easily makes things vastly easier for me, personally.

Yeah, I'm going to try look at the positives here, and probably use this as kind of a 'mentoring' role for me a bit.

bertsmom

Shelga wrote:

I’m feeling more positive about things now, I can use this role as a better-paid springboard while I figure out what I want in the next 3-5 years of my career. It doesn’t have to be my dream job, it’s good for now.

That's great Shelga, honestly I think once these new job nerves leave you things will be fine. I changed my shift last year and I'd say I'm only completely comfortable and familiar in the last month or two with the new set up.
A new job is a huge change don't underestimate it's effect but give it time. For what it's worth as well in our place the age ranges from early twenties interns to near retirement people and I no one has ever passed comment on anyone's age to my knowledge, it's just not really noticed.

Ursuls Horriblus I may have put my point across badly in my earlier post. I didn't mean to suggest being abrupt or unfriendly towards colleagues as in if we are walking to a meeting together we chat about weather or holidays or stuff in the news and are friendly but I mean not to have them as friends. I wouldn't tell them personal issues or make arrangements to meet outside of work, I do give to the usual births/weddings collections but I just don't make excuses for not attending work weddings, it's known I don't do that and that's perfectly fine.