What helps (helped) get you through the Grief?

drunkmonkey

Has anything in particular helped you express/deal with the grief of a loss outside friends/family and time.
Maybe it's a song that nails the way you feel, got a little upset reading one of the threads here this morning had to go listen to a song or two off Mike Shinodas post traumatic album. I thought Ricky Gervais's show after life helped a bit as well, I could definitely see parts of me in it.
You can't post videos etc in this forum so just looking to hear if anything in particular might have helped you ease the grief/anger or made it a bit easier to look forward and smile as well as back.

Sardonicat

Something I found helpful if I was feeling overwhelmed was lighting a candle or an incense burner. It was a way of exteranalising my feelings of loss and love. Essentially I imagined the flame /aroma symbolised my enduring love and would represent that as I tried to go about my day. I'm not in anyway religious but found myself slipping into churches to light candles a lot and whisper 'this is for you'. The incense I used at home when I needed to free my mind to study or focus. The aroma/flame comforted me as I felt it was expressing my grief for me when I just had to engage with day to day stuff without falling apart every few minutes.

But eventually , you know, you've got to feel it. You can't avoid grief. It will find you if you run and it won't leave you till it's done. Sometimes the only thing to do is cry. Get your support where you can and try and manage your feelings but don't try to avoid them.

banie01

At the start, my grief was raw.
It all too often turned to rage, anger at not just losing my wife but at the loss of every single hope, wish, dream and plan I had for our future...
My grief was isolating, I became very siloed in my thinking and in avoiding people, because it was my pain!
How very dare anyone have the arrogance to try and tell me they understood.

Thing is, they do, they did and all they wanted to do was help.
My own selfish grief made me keep them at a distance for far too long.
Talking to my family, to my friends was the 1st step really allowing myself to get a handle on my grief.

To focus on the good times we shared together and to be grateful for those times.
It allowed me to talk about her and smile at the reminiscing, rather than cry at our loss.

Grief is learning to swim in strange waters, those waters are deep and often stormy.
Waves will crash over you, but with patience and with support from both those closest to you and from professionals if needed...

You will weather the storm, you will adjust.
Life will never be the same again, it will be different and there will always be something missing.
But it can and will be good again.

is_that_so

One day at a time as they say. There will be bad days, a lot of them at first but they will become less frequent. I think you seek out any little thing that can make you happy however brief they are. Let things come into your mind, be sad and then let them go for a time. Waves are a very good analogy but the tide does go out.