Gift for a couple who live abroad

Faith

Curious about the thoughts of the hive mind on this one. I’m attending the wedding of a good friend this summer. The couple live in the Middle East, earning extremely good salaries and have made comments in passing that indicate they’re financially better off than the vast majority our age. The wedding is in Ireland and my husband and I live in the UK.

With the hen party included, that’s two lots of flights in and out of Ireland, along with all the various other costs associated with attending a wedding. A pricy endeavor, but worth it for my friend. My problem is, I have NO idea what to do about a gift. Given they’re wealthy, I’m reluctant to give cash. The city they live doesn’t allow alcohol, so that rules out champagne or anything alcohol-related gift. It’s such an expensive city that I doubt we could afford a gift voucher for their local McDonalds, never mind a fancy restaurant or hotel! They are forever going on holidays in exotic beautiful locations but I don’t think they have booked a honeymoon yet so I can’t get anything related to that. They presumably won’t want an actual gift as they’d have to transport it back and that would be more hassle than it’s worth.

All that together is leading me to think weshould just give them cash, but before I commit to that, I’m curious if anyone has outside-the-box ideas for a more thoughtful gift?

love_love

First of all, don't spend a lot of money on a gift just because it's the done thing, as you have already outlined how costly the travel will be for you. We had several friends who gave us cards only and we were delighted that they came.

In saying that, if you're looking for an actual suggestion, a gift basket of tea and crisps or something from home that that can't get over there would be a nice gesture. It might be a pain for them to bring back is the only thing. But something long those lines is always appreciated by people who live abroad (my sister in law brings loafs of Brennan's with her!).

wuffly

If you are traveling for the wedding, I doubt they'd expect any gift. I live in the ME also, we got married at home in Ireland.

We didn't say anything re gifts on our invite but to anyone that asked we said firstly please no gift, and if they insisted we said cash as we couldn't transport gifts back with us. We certainly wouldn't have expected anything from people paying for flights etc.
Not sure what your budget is but you could get them an experience or a meal voucher or some local ME art work? I'm guessing they aren't based in the UAE when you say alcohol is not allowed. If you want to mention the city I maybe able to advise some affordable options?

baby and crumble

Depending on the couple and how they feel you could do something like buy some charity gifts in their name - we recently bought a beehive 'for' our friends who are getting married in a few weeks but who aren't stuck for cash in the slightest and who are moving to the US (so can't really get them physical presents). We're putting together a little gift basket of honey/bee based 'bits' for them to have also (travel kit of burts bees stuff, the beeswax fabric wraps for food, that kind of thing). Now, they're the sort who are very involved in social justice issues so it'll go down well - obviously there's some who would be annoyed about that as a gift so you know them best.

Neyite

I think that I would probably sound out a sister/mammy for ideas. If they are coming home for the wedding you could maybe arrange as a gift something here for them - a nice restaurant voucher for example if they'll have time to use it.

woodchuck

They presumably won’t want an actual gift as they’d have to transport it back and that would be more hassle than it’s worth.

Have you thought about getting something delivered to their home before/after the wedding?

If they're as wealthy as you say, cash won't mean much to them. But I'm sure you (along with most people) would feel the sting in your pocket, especially as you'll already be spending so much money to attend also. So personally I wouldn't just give cash for the sake of it in this case.

I think this is one of those rare situations when an actual present would be better than cash. I don't mean wine glasses or a picture frame though! Something sentimental that they wouldn't think to buy for themselves. As for what that might be - well, unfortunately only you know the couple and what they would/wouldn't like.

Faith

Thanks for the replies so far! In terms of travel, while my wallet would dearly love to agree that the cost of travel means gifts are unnecessary, it’s only from the UK so I’d feel stingy if I didn’t give a gift as well . Plus she’s a lifelong friend, so I’d like to give a gift.

They are in UAE, but I was under the impression that alcohol is still very restricted and you’d need to be quite careful outside of having a few drinks at home or in a hotel. So I figured it would be safest to stay away from that. Similarly, because of the laws around unmarried people living together, they’ll be moving right after the wedding so I can’t arrange delivery. A voucher for something local is a possibility, but looking at menus of some of the better restaurants in their city, a 3-course meal without alcohol could set you back about €200, and I’d hate to get a voucher that they’d have to supplement with their own money!

But this has been really helpful actually, because I’m starting to get a few ideas. Maybe a kind of “Welcome to married life” hamper that’s filled with small transportable things, and possibly a few food items they wouldn’t be able to get over there? That feels thoughtful and personal to me... and I’ll shove cash in a card if that doesn’t work out

wuffly

Faith wrote: »

Thanks for the replies so far! In terms of travel, while my wallet would dearly love to agree that the cost of travel means gifts are unnecessary, it’s only from the UK so I’d feel stingy if I didn’t give a gift as well . Plus she’s a lifelong friend, so I’d like to give a gift.

They are in UAE, but I was under the impression that alcohol is still very restricted and you’d need to be quite careful outside of having a few drinks at home or in a hotel. So I figured it would be safest to stay away from that. Similarly, because of the laws around unmarried people living together, they’ll be moving right after the wedding so I can’t arrange delivery. A voucher for something local is a possibility, but looking at menus of some of the better restaurants in their city, a 3-course meal without alcohol could set you back about €200, and I’d hate to get a voucher that they’d have to supplement with their own money!

But this has been really helpful actually, because I’m starting to get a few ideas. Maybe a kind of “Welcome to married life” hamper that’s filled with small transportable things, and possibly a few food items they wouldn’t be able to get over there? That feels thoughtful and personal to me... and I’ll shove cash in a card if that doesn’t work out

Aw ok, booze is somewhat restricted but not certainly not to just a few drinks at home. If they are in Dubai they would need a licence which is easy to get and they probably have or else they are careful and don't have loud boozy parties at home. If they are living together unmarried its probably the latter. Its very common and as long as you are respectful there's rarely an issue. As far as I know you don't need a licence in Abu Dhabi. Pretty much all hotels have booze and have several bars, there are hundreds of hotels. Its just different to streets of bars at home. Google friday brunch dubai and you get an idea of how much drinking goes on here openly and legally. You could def pop a bottle of bubbles or what ever drink they fancy in a hamper. Re delivery there's no residential post here so if you are getting anything delivered it would be to one of their work addresses.

Feel free to ignore the below just some ideas.

When is the actual wedding? Just thinking if they are foodies, they might like the fine dining entertainer (Its 2for1 app but with all the high end restaurants) but would prob be best to get them the 2020 one, which would be available near the end of the year and when you buy it it would give you access for the end of the 2019 also. I know you said they are wealthy but even the wealthiest people i know here use the entertainer as its great value and you get to try restaurants that you might not normally. just a thought. I don't think vouchers etc.. are big at home but very common here.

Re nice restaurants you're right including wine dinner would be close to 200e, there are some nice places close to 120e so about 500aed. il Faro on the Palm has stunning views and lovely food and would come in around this.

You could also get them an Emaar voucher, they would use in any Emaar malls or restaurants. Marina Mall, Dubai Mall, Pier 7(restaurants & bars)... https://www.emaargiftcard.com/about/where-to-use

Regarding treats from home, you can buy barry's tea, kerry gold, taytos etc. here, not much that we can't get, but still lovely to get! People still bring me tea and taytos when they visit!!

https://littlemajlis.com some local craft/art

https://www.facebook.com/ThatPersonalTouchUAEandUK/ this company does some lovely word art. I do some stuff like this myself as wedding gifts when I am travelling to wedding and not doing a big gift.

https://www.facebook.com/thepartyuae/ these guys make lovely wooden bits

If you want to get them something Arabic, you could arrange an arabic name necklace/bracelet for the bride and some cufflinks for the groom. if you get them done in silver it should come in under 100e. Cara & Monli are both very good, both in the Gold & Diamond Park and would arrange delivery for you. You can arrange it via whatsapp. Not sure about payment but i would trust either of them with cc payment.

If you want to get them something Irish Anna Nielson prints from the Kilkenny shop are gorgeous, or Simone Walsh

Enjoy the wedding!

Addle

Agree with the Irish prints for their home.
I did something similar for ex pats.
https://homebird.ie/

wuffly

Addle wrote: »

Agree with the Irish prints for their home.
I did something similar for ex pats.
https://homebird.ie/

Aw these are brill! I may have to get the NOT CORK one

razorblunt

I'm always reluctant to buy prints/art for folk just because I've been given ****é before and felt obliged to hang them up but some of those are class.

Have you also thought about who they use to fly back from there and buy a gift voucher they can use on their next flights home?

petros1980

What about watches or the like. You could get them engraved to personalise; and no issues in terms of transport

MommaSarah

Hi Faith,

I'm just curious, have you found the perfect gift yet? I'm in a similar situation at the moment...