Sabotaging Weigtloss Progress

LegacyUser

I am a woman with pretty low self esteem, a lot stemming from my body. I had lost nearly a stone over a few months period, and I was finally feeling somewhat confident. I knew I had maybe another half a stone to lose to have a body I wanted to be happy with. But then about 3 weeks ago I've started to sabotage my weight loss, horrendously, being worse and worse each day. I'm talking about eating a full box of cereal bars in a day, or 2 sharing bars of chocolate, or even more than that, on top of whatever else I ate during the day for my meals. I'm just digging myself further and further into a hole and I cant seem to stop. I wanted to be in shape fr a holiday at the start of August but I have done so much damage I've probably gained even more weight that what I was originally (I've been a little stressed mostly with work, and its only looking to get worse in the next few weeks-it probably doesnt help I've been working extremely long hours recently so I've been very tired, I arrive home after 7pm most days and turn into an eating machine). I don't know how to stop the ravaging monster in me. I feel so ashamed and helpless that I'm making things more difficult for me each day. How do I dig myself out of this mind set? It all seems so hopeless.

I'm moving soon I don't want to sign up to a gym plan. But the concern is more so over what I eat. I don't know whats happening to me, I just become unreasonable or lose all motivation to remain healthy. And as I said it started off bad, but its only got worse and worse with each day. I know people are just going to tell me not to eat the bad food, but if it was only that easy....I don't know as anyone else who may have been in this position before what help or tips did you use to snap yourself out of this way of existing???

Pablo_Flox

Don't have it in your house. Tell yourself before you go into the shop that you are not buying any chocolate or sweets, and then you only need to fight the temptation for the 15 minutes you are doing your shopping rather than fighting it for hours (an eventually giving in) if you know its in the cupboard.

Everyone has set back. Learn a lesson from it and start again.

zapper55

This is deeper than not having sweets in the house. What does being your ideal weight represent to you? Are you scared you'll fail? Do you think you'll get more attention than youll be comfortable with? Get a pen and paper and just put down everything that's in your head about it.

Also, half a stone is not a huge amount left to loose and not very noticeable to most. Are you afraid that if you reach your ideal weight that in reality it wont really change you (mentally, emotionally etc) the way you'd hoped?

antix80

Hi op
Don't keep snacks in your house.
I don't think a target weight based on dieting alone is particularly useful. It's boring and the rapid weightloss is soon replaced by slow (if any) progress, skinny-fat, tired, irritable and bored.
Join the gym and preferably get some personal training once or twice a week. You don't have to pay a full year upfront as most gyms offer monthly memberships after a joining fee.

LegacyUser

Hi all

Thanks for the replies so far. As for the no junk in the house. I can't avoid that. My house mates have sort of half moved out. They're not there but could show up at any time. They left junk food all over the house which I keep eating and then replacing, and end up in a horrible cylce of eat, buy replacement, eat replacement etc.

Even at that I managed to make myself junk without having it in the house. Things I would never think of normally, for example, I had some baking ingredients in the house as I baked for a charity bakesale during my initial weightloss. Even when I messed up one of the batches (the cookies fell apart as I was lifting them off the tray, I binned them and didn't try a single crumb) last week I seen I had most of the ingredients so I made a half assed dough mix and ate it. Raw. I didn't even have butter or milk in the house which is what required in the recipe so I used cooking oil instead.

I weighed myself this morning and I'm up over half a stone. I can see it in my body and feel it in my clothes. My body has always been an issue. Even since I was a kid. I feel like such a failure. I was somewhat happy with the weightloss. I fluctuated in weight before and there is a difference between how some people see you/treat you based on your appearence. I mean I even see it in myself, and it makes my self confidence just die a death.

As others have said, it's all about planning in advance.

Plan ahead what you're going to be eating, and do your best to meal prep on a Sunday (or whatever day suits you). Get a reasonable week's worth of food and don't leave yourself hungry. Don't buy any extras, and ignore value deals in the shop. I find with meal prepping, seeing all your food for the week in the fridge also preps you mentally, and helps you subconsciously track what you're eating, how much is left etc. It also reduces the chance that you'll get home late and opt out of cooking - because it's all already done!

When you do end up having a treat, it can be easy to say 'well I've ruined my good streak now, might as well go all-out'. I can end up buying every treat I've thought about for the last month. Don't do this! A treat can just be one treat, and you don't have to feel bad about it. You deserve a treat every now and then, and when you do, you can still practice moderation, and congratulate yourself for not going overboard.

Peatys

We avoid the junk isle in the supermarket.

Sesame

Chocolate is my weakness. After noticing the pounds creeping up very slowly, I have started to look at chocolate as a lump of lard and cocoa and sugar (which is pretty much all it is). If I visualise the lard and eating it, it usually turns me off. I can do the same with cake, cheese and cans of fuzzy drinks. It even turns me off when I se either people eating them. If you look past the ads, and the fancy wrapping and the elegantly described boxes of chocolates, it's really just lard and sugar in different combinations packaged nicely to get you to buy them.

I also gave up all drinks that are not coffee and water. No juice or anything.

Segotias

zapper55 wrote: »

This is deeper than not having sweets in the house. What does being your ideal weight represent to you? Are you scared you'll fail? Do you think you'll get more attention than youll be comfortable with? Get a pen and paper and just put down everything that's in your head about it.

Also, half a stone is not a huge amount left to loose and not very noticeable to most. Are you afraid that if you reach your ideal weight that in reality it wont really change you (mentally, emotionally etc) the way you'd hoped?

To be honest I think is closer to your problem than just having junk in the house.

Sabotage is a very strong word but I think very accurate. As someone who has had a constant battle with weight which continues and I can honestly say sometimes I have enough and then get back into the routine of trying to eat correctly and exercise.

My question for you would be why do you want to lose weight, do you think your weight is inhibiting you from doing something, meeting someone (if you're single) If you lose all the weight you want will it suddenly fix any issues you have. You may have to look at yourself in a slightly different way and ask why you are losing the weight are there other issues at hand that you need to address.

Don't get me wrong a big part of why I want to lose weight is because I don't like how I look so for you it could just be that too

LegacyUser

Yeah I understand.I haven't quite done that but I have the whole problem of losing and gaining pounds, can't seem to keep it off.It's all very well to say avoid the junk aisle/don't have it in the house etc but it is way, way more than that.Are you with any sort of slimming group or training group or anything?

Pablo_Flox

If its way more than just avoiding junk food and showing some willpower then book an appointment with your GP and get a referral to an eating disorder specialist.

Most people struggle with fighting temptation. Its hard! But if you think your problem is more serious go get professional help. A Slimming Group or Training Group isnt qualified to help you if your issues are as serious as you allude to.

wiggle16

Get rid of the junk food and don't replace it. Set a budget for what you spend in the supermarket that will cover what you need without junk and stick to it.

More importantly: DON'T SHOP HUNGRY. When you go shopping, do it on a full stomach.

Obviously these won't solve it but small changes are really important when it comes to your weight.

rustynutz

Have you tried hypnosis? It has worked for some people I know who have had an unhealthy relationship with food

ILoveYourVibes

Eat when you are hungry (as soon as you are hungry and whenever if its one in the morning and you are hungry EAT) stop when you are full.

Don't be too hard on yourself. Everyone eats crap sometimes.

Exercise will help you feel less tired.

Being healthy is going to feel amazing!

Good luck.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Something has changed and it's not having junk in the house. I don't think this is as simple as making sure to shop on a full stomach, I'd say zapper55 is closest to the mark, a talk with a specialist might well be in order. This seems like compulsive self-destructive behaviour and it's clear from your posts that you have a complicated relationship with food and your body and how those things factor into your sense of yourself.

Has this sequence of events played out like this before? Getting close to a target weight and then it all going to hell?

If I could give you one bit of more long term advice, forget about target weights. It just exacerbates this type of struggle. It's a number on a scale, not a route to happiness, not a magical point where your relationship with food will fix itself. Set different goals, like "I want to run a 5k" or even "I want to fit in these jeans".

Most immediately, go easy on yourself. Food issues are really really complex, you're not equipped to get to the bottom of this yourself. Go do something nice for yourself that doesn't involve food.

If you can, change up your evening routine. Even if it's meeting people for food you're less likely to binge like you can in private. Evenings are nice and long now, is there someone you could meet for a walk.

Most very very importantly if you're thinking of purging don't and if you are already get to a GP and get referred somewhere like, yesterday.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

And please stop that language about yourself. You're not a monster, or a failure. This behaviour is not a reflection of you as a person and your worth, ok, you having a problem controlling your relationship with food means you have a problem controlling your relationship with food. That's it. There is more to a person than that.

How is your self-talk? When you're going about your day what kind of language is going on in your head? Are there words like stupid, greedy, failure, monster? Remove those. Literally get in the habit of catching yourself and correcting. Come on, you wouldn't talk about someone else that way right?

This probably all seems beside the point but you are not going to have a healthy relationship with food without having a healthy relationship with yourself. And whether or not you feel shame is a justified emotion here, it's just not a productive one. Shame leads straight to cookie dough! No shame!

ILoveYourVibes

OPweightloss wrote: »

Hi all

Thanks for the replies so far. As for the no junk in the house. I can't avoid that. My house mates have sort of half moved out. They're not there but could show up at any time. They left junk food all over the house which I keep eating and then replacing, and end up in a horrible cylce of eat, buy replacement, eat replacement etc.

Even at that I managed to make myself junk without having it in the house. Things I would never think of normally, for example, I had some baking ingredients in the house as I baked for a charity bakesale during my initial weightloss. Even when I messed up one of the batches (the cookies fell apart as I was lifting them off the tray, I binned them and didn't try a single crumb) last week I seen I had most of the ingredients so I made a half assed dough mix and ate it. Raw. I didn't even have butter or milk in the house which is what required in the recipe so I used cooking oil instead.

I weighed myself this morning and I'm up over half a stone. I can see it in my body and feel it in my clothes. My body has always been an issue. Even since I was a kid. I feel like such a failure. I was somewhat happy with the weightloss. I fluctuated in weight before and there is a difference between how some people see you/treat you based on your appearence. I mean I even see it in myself, and it makes my self confidence just die a death.

You will be more mindless and think at a lower level in a negative state of mind generally.

People think at higher levels in positive moods. They also notice physical sensations more ...like fullness etc.

If your work has you mentally tired or ...frustrated? It can put you in a negative frame of mind.

Negative frames of mind can leave you vulnerable to a negative internal dialogue. You also don't think in as many steps as you usually do.

Even performing mental tasks of numeracy etc or decision making people perform poorer in a negative mindset.

I don't know how to cure it. You can't turn a switch and say listen to some hyphy music and be silly and turn your mood upside down.

But i just think the process of what is happening and why is very interesting.

But whatever it is. Its a phase ..it will pass

tara73

How about joining a group/organisation for people with weight problems/eating problems. It sounds like it's not that easy for you and doing it with the support of other peple in the same situation and a supervisor sounds ideal to me in your case.

I can't give you a recommendation which groups are best but maybe some other folks here know or do a search on the internet and get a feeling what's out there to help you.

GRACKEA

After a period of restriction it's really normal for your body and mind to crave "bad" foods and binge. I really restricted my food for months and developed orthorexia which spiralled into binge eating disorder.

What I found helped me, was not focusing on it. Let go of guilty feelings and negative emotions. After you felt you've over eaten, just let go of negativity and pick right back up eating normally and nourishing yourself.

Keeping junk out of your house is a good suggestion as long as you don't feel too restricted or hungry, that's what fuels the binge cycle. I'd suggest eating that junk food. Having your favourite treats and really enjoying them might satisfy you and you can spend the rest of your time eating well without that "diet" feeling.

Kidchameleon

You need therapy, you are eating for reasons none of us can help you with. Can you remember when you started to have body issues? Sort out the root of the problem. Dieting will only kick the can down the road. On a practical level, I see you are renting. So no financial commients like a mortgage? You need to quit your job or cut down on your hours. A stress free routine will really help you to eat better, give you more time to cook proper food. Put a note up in your house, a lighthearted one "lads/ladies please clean up your food, put it away - help me please!"

Again, your main source of help is therapy. Get to the source of the problem. Good luck

LegacyUser

OP I’m very like you. I will be good for ages and then destroy my progress with ridiculous binge eating and drinking. I don’t know what it is, it’s probably psychological. I kick myself afterwards.
I’m a skinny fat male, early forties, I have had a pot belly and man boobs for as long as I can remember as well as an unsightly double chin.

A few years ago is said to myself I am going to sort this out once and for all. I joined the local gym and got a personal trainer, I can now squat and bench crazy amounts vs where I started from and I am visibly stronger and more athletic looking. I also do a bit or running and cycling so I’m quite fit.

The belly, boobs and double chin are still there though, albeit a bit less noticeable. My diet is mostly excellent during the week but I am caught in a cycle of bingeing on crisps and other junk food and beer at the weekends. It’s probably a mix of boredom, loneliness and low self esteem. I am an introvert and I live a long way from my old friends who I hardly ever see any more. I find myself making up stories about my weekends on Monday to my colleagues which is really sad I know.

I don’t really have any advice for you except to say you are not alone. I know in my case there is something underlying that makes me behave the way I do and sabotage all the good work I have put in. I would probably be my ideal weight and have a fairly impressive physique if I could cut out the bingeing for a few months but I can’t.

If anybody has beaten this type of situation I’d love to hear how they did it. I’ve tried the not keeping junk in the house thing and it works to a point but then I will get up on Saturday evening and zip down to the shop and buy a box of Pringles and a slab of beer and I’m back to square one.

I know it would really help if I had other things to do on weekends but I don’t really have hobbies outside of fitness and nobody to do them with in any case. I live in a rural area with very limited social outlets outside the GAA and the pub.

antix80

Hi Skinny Fat Me.. Maybe you need your own thread.

But I reckon the majority of people have something about themselves they're not happy with. You've done well regarding realising a gym membership is worthless without a good trainer -which inevitably will lead to you doing squats and deadlifts, and actually building strength and improving your body, rather than wasting time on the threadmill or doing tricking about with crunches and bicep curls at the expense of heavy lifting. (Same goes for girls btw)
So your physical fitness is quite good.

The next step is to address the cycle you're caught in. Once again, I'd advise you to get a professional involved.

Time and money can be an issue for many people. Sounds like you've plenty of time at least. If you've got some disposable income, you should definitely invest in some counselling or therapy.

But my 2c on a couple of strategies.
1. Making up stories for your workmates is creating a gap between "where you are" and the ideal situation which would make you happy. Unfortunately you have no way to close the gap, as a result you're not happy.
So maybe get rid of the gap. Embrace the fact you like to pig out at the weekend and tell your workmates that you hit the gym then consume a dozen cans of heineken, a tube of pringles and a share bar. You're not doing yourself any favours by feeling shame for something you kind of like doing.
You could also do a few tweaks that the binge isn't as damaging. So heineken light instead of heineken. Sweet and salty popcorn instead of pringles.
2. Do something productive the weekend. It doesn't have to be every weekend (although it helps - try volunteering with SVP or something.) Why not visit two or three European cities at weekends between now and the end of the year. Whether you like history, geography, architecture, or maybe just a change of scenery, it might inject a bit of excitement in your life.

Graces7

Has to be some element of will power combined with common sense. There really does and that is very simple.

I am blessed in living where there are no shops and getting a delivery every two weeks. No impulse buying..

Sittingpretty

I could have written this post. Only I’m about 5 stone overweight.

I second the advice to talk to your GP, I’ve yet to build up the courage to do that myself. I think I probably have a binge eating disorder.

I buy food and eat it in secret, I do t even taste it, I do t even like it I just have to have it, ALL of it.

In my own experience weight loss groups will work temporarily but I ALWAYS revert to type, even when I’ve lost a decent amount of weight and I’m feeling so good in myself. Self sabotage always wins out in the end.

dublingirlx

MonsterEatEerything wrote: »

I am a woman with pretty low self esteem, a lot stemming from my body. I had lost nearly a stone over a few months period, and I was finally feeling somewhat confident. I knew I had maybe another half a stone to lose to have a body I wanted to be happy with. But then about 3 weeks ago I've started to sabotage my weight loss, horrendously, being worse and worse each day. I'm talking about eating a full box of cereal bars in a day, or 2 sharing bars of chocolate, or even more than that, on top of whatever else I ate during the day for my meals. I'm just digging myself further and further into a hole and I cant seem to stop. I wanted to be in shape fr a holiday at the start of August but I have done so much damage I've probably gained even more weight that what I was originally (I've been a little stressed mostly with work, and its only looking to get worse in the next few weeks-it probably doesnt help I've been working extremely long hours recently so I've been very tired, I arrive home after 7pm most days and turn into an eating machine). I don't know how to stop the ravaging monster in me. I feel so ashamed and helpless that I'm making things more difficult for me each day. How do I dig myself out of this mind set? It all seems so hopeless.

I'm moving soon I don't want to sign up to a gym plan. But the concern is more so over what I eat. I don't know whats happening to me, I just become unreasonable or lose all motivation to remain healthy. And as I said it started off bad, but its only got worse and worse with each day. I know people are just going to tell me not to eat the bad food, but if it was only that easy....I don't know as anyone else who may have been in this position before what help or tips did you use to snap yourself out of this way of existing???

It seems to me like you have a serious binge eating disorder and you need help from a professional. There is no shame involved and in my opinion is no difference than anorexia or bulemia. There is help out there. I think this runs deeper than just 'overeating' and is not something that is fixable with diet or gym long term. Seek help before you damage your health. The very best of luck x