What to help but I’m not supposed to know about it

LazySamaritan

Does anyone have advice how to help people when you aren’t supposed there is something going on?

What the issue is is irrelevant - just looking to know what you folks would do.

Peanut2011

Personally my advice would be to stay out of their business. If the person wanted you to know about their issues and wanted your help, they would have come to you.

Shelli2

The issue is most definitely relevant here, it's impossible to give advice on the unknown.

It could be anything from getting someone involved in a domestic abuse situation out safely, to telling a friend her other half was flirting with a waitress.

LazySamaritan

Peanut2011 wrote: »

Personally my advice would be to stay out of their business. If the person wanted you to know about their issues and wanted your help, they would have come to you.

Because someone has not spoken about something does mean they want or need help.

That is pretty terrible advice.

LazySamaritan

Shelli2 wrote: »

The issue is most definitely relevant here, it's impossible to give advice on the unknown.

It could be anything from getting someone involved in a domestic abuse situation out safely, to telling a friend her other half was flirting with a waitress.

No the issue causing the problem is not relevant but I could I have explained other aspects which might have allowed people to better give advice.

However in the meantime I was been able to think more on it and I think I know what I can do.

Starting the thread - as bare bones as it was - gave my mind some relief and I was able to think better.

Thanks for the time anyway

Mr. Incognito

how to help people when you aren’t supposed

You answered your own question.

leggo

People typically hate unsolicited 'help', it's a fantastic way to lose friends.

If it's cheating or the likes, I could probably count on one hand the people in my life whose relationship I'd interfere in if I had irrefutable evidence, and I'd hope for the same from them. But 99.99999999% of the time I'm staying out of it. There's an extremely good chance you won't get thanked, will just lose a friend and won't change the situation whatsoever.

If it's someone suffering from depression or some kind of mental health issues, generally asking if they're okay and letting them know that they can talk to you in a safe, confidential space is the limit of what you can do. And that's true of most issues: the best thing you can do is be available if needed, then just let whatever happens happen if you're not. Though some people have to learn this lesson the hard way and will try nonetheless.

Up Donegal

LazySamaritan wrote: »

Does anyone have advice how to help people when you aren’t supposed there is something going on?

What the issue is is irrelevant - just looking to know what you folks would do.

There's and old Irish saying - 'Is binn beál ina thost'.

(The silent mouth is sweet)

http://www.daltai.com/proverbs/quiet-talkative/is-binn-beal-ina-thost/

wiggle16

Up Donegal wrote: »

There's an old Irish saying - 'Is binn beál ina thost'.

Díreach é.

As you appear to have decided what you are going to do, I am going to close this thread.

Thread locked