Friend and money

devlinio

So I have a good friend, but he always expects other people to buy him stuff. I and our group usually drink in our local pub, he's a delivery driver for a chipper right beside us. We text him to come in if he's free, and have a coke. He does but always expects someone to buy him the drink as he's not drinking.

He finishes at 11, so he'll tell us to wait in the pub, as he wants to chill out for a bit after work. We stay, but we generally stay past the last bus home, so he drives us home. He will drive us home but then decides he wants McDonald's, every time without fail, he goes whos buying it for me. The only reason we're getting a lift home is that he asked us to stay with him past our buses. Last time we were there I bought him his food and he picked a €9 meal. I freaked at him, and he said I'm dropping you home.

My train home costs 2 quid, the only reason I didn't get that is becuase he wanted to stay in the pub after work (not pints, but coke), yet I have to buy your food.

Am I being mean here?

zoobizoo

Leave the pub when you want to not when he wants you to. That's your choice.

Tell him that you can be home by X time - whether it's by train or a lift from him.

If he wants to stay and chill at work he can do that and miss you guys (and miss out on his free coke) - if he wants to meet up with you, he'll arrive earlier, he can do that (get his free coke and give you a lift home) - that's his choice.


Btw, buying a drink for someone who is driving you home is fair. Them expecting you to wait for them, to buy their drinks and pay for a meal for them on the way home is not.

devlinio

zoobizoo wrote: »

Leave the pub when you want to not when he wants you to. That's your choice.

Tell him that you can be home by X time - whether it's by train or a lift from him.

If he wants to stay and chill at work he can do that and miss you guys (and miss out on his free coke) - if he wants to meet up with you, he'll arrive earlier, he can do that (get his free coke and give you a lift home) - that's his choice.


Btw, buying a drink for someone who is driving you home is fair. Them expecting you to wait for them, to buy their drinks and pay for a meal for them on the way home is not.

I've no issue buying people coke if they're driving and not drinking. But expecting us to wait for him, and stay in the pub when we can't get a bus/train is taking the biscuit imo.

woodchuck

Stop staying out late when you don't want to. Get the last bus/train home instead of taking a lift from him.

Let him buy his own drinks and fast food.

wiggle16

Agree with woodchuck and zoobizoo here.

He sounds like the kind of person who expects something in return for anything he does, even with friends. So as far as he is concerned, once he is giving you a lift you're beholden to him until he gets something back.

Buying him a coke when he'll be giving you a lift is fair trade. Buying food is taking the p*ss. He's the one suggesting McDonalds like. He's a chancer.

Stop staying out with him, or make your own way home if you've to stay out late.

MartyMcFly84

Just explain you need to get the last train home.

Fair enough if he is giving you a lift home you buy a coke or whatever. However you don't Have to stay if its not convenient for you. Get the train and avoid the issue.

LolaJJ

Just wondering OP- Does the lift home bring him significantly out of his way?

Either way, I'd second what the other posters have said, go home in time for the last train/bus and when he moans tell him it's cheaper than a mcdonalds

valoren

What would happen if he came in after a text invite and found that he was to pay for his coke?
Would he be annoyed? Is his friendship, his time conditional? As in he'll only come in if someone buys him his drink?

This good friend is chancing his arm and getting away with it too. A moocher.

Purgative

I agree with Valoren. Going by what you say, this guy is a user, not a good friend.



How many others in the drinking / lift home group? Do they feel the same way?

volono

hi o.p.,
This is such a non issue imo, you say this person is ''a good friend'', well open your eyes, they're not!, by any means. Whatever about offering someone a drink, alcoholic or not when they get to the pub wouldn't be too important in my eyes but to turn around and basically tell you that your paying for their meal on the way home because they're giving you a lift is a joke. I'd consciously make it a point to order a taxi the next time when your leaving the pub and tell them to forget about their ''lift''. Friends , real friends don't act this way to each other, ever, maybe that's a lesson you'll have to learn o.p., the sooner you cut these type of people out of your life the better imo, you wouldn't be worrying and posting about it on boards to begin with, food for thought,

leggo

I don’t understand what’s stopping any of you from just calling him out on this? If a mate did this to me they’d get an unmerciful slagging for being a scab and that’d be the end of it. Are you too nice to speak up for yourself or something? It’s okay to say this stuff to people.

“Ah now buying McDonalds for you, that was in the smallprint!”
“I’m giving you a lift.”
“I’ll get a taxi next time so. Go on, if you’re hungry pay for yourself, you’re a big boy.”

dobman88

leggo wrote: »

I don’t understand what’s stopping any of you from just calling him out on this? If a mate did this to me they’d get an unmerciful slagging for being a scab and that’d be the end of it. Are you too nice to speak up for yourself or something? It’s okay to say this stuff to people.

“Ah now buying McDonalds for you, that was in the smallprint!”
“I’m giving you a lift.”
“I’ll get a taxi next time so. Go on, if you’re hungry pay for yourself, you’re a big boy.”

Same as this.

If one of our group tried this with the food he would be laughed at. Absolutely no issue buying a coke or whatever in the pub. But I wouldnt be waiting on him in the first place, I'd go home when I wanted and I sure as hell wouldn't be buying him a McDonalds.

antix80

He obviously think he deserves it because a taxi would cost €7 or whatever.
Best you can do is get the train and refuse his lift. Just don't burn your bridges if you actually like the option of getting a lift with him. Nothing ruins a night out like having to keep an eye on the clock so you don't miss the last train.