Is this rude?

noubliezjamais

Last week I was shopping in Tesco and came across one of my former secondary school classmates who hangs out with a other lads that lived nearby our old school

I saw him in the far aisle talking to his three friends and just went shopping as normal. He looked busy so i just went on as normal. He didn't see me but then obviously joined me a few minutes later. I said hello to him and his friends but we didn't make much small talk. He's is and always was bit of a joker (not in a bad way like a messer just non serious guy) so I just talked to him for a bit then finished.

It's only yesterday that I got a message from him on Facebook saying I was quite rude. I'm shocked as I don't think that I came across like that (well not intentionally.) People say I have aspergers (mainly psychiatrist) but this wasn't a case of not reading body language or avoiding him, I just wasn't in a speaking mood.

Do you think I'm in the wrong or he's a bit too much?

never_mind

Hi OP,

that guy is over-reacting. I would reply to the message and just say you have a lot on your mind and in a rush and leave it at that.

Since he is no longer a friend I really wouldn't sweat it but jaysus... that was ballsy of him!

Rubberchikken

not really nice for someone you actually dont mix with posting that comment.

tbh id say forget about it and carry on with your life.
maybe he thought he was being 'funny'. some peoples sense of humour can be odd to others.

zapper55

If it happened exactly as you said then no you weren't rude. But if your psychiatrist thinks you have aspergers then your read of a social situation mightnt be correct.

Even if you were rude you could have been having a bad day, in a world of tour own etc I do think its ott for the guy to send it. Could there be something else behind it, were you ever in a relationship?

Why not reply to the guy and say that you are surprised he thought you were rude and it was good to see him (if it was).

And leave it at that. Arguing the point with him will get you nowhere

noubliezjamais

zapper55 wrote: »

If it happened exactly as you said then no you weren't rude. But if your psychiatrist thinks you have aspergers then your read of a social situation mightnt be correct.

Even if you were rude you could have been having a bad day, in a world of tour own etc I do think its ott for the guy to send it. Could there be something else behind it, were you ever in a relationship?

Why not reply to the guy and say that you are surprised he thought you were rude and it was good to see him (if it was).

And leave it at that. Arguing the point with him will get you nowhere

Well I don't have trouble reading social cues but I think when "push comes to shove", I can say some very inappropriate things (mainly sexual stuff).

leggo

I care less and less about stuff like this as I get older. The other week I was on a good buzz heading into work and fancied reading while I was on the bus. A lad who I went to school with got on and made a beeline for me. I’d have got back talking to him a bit through an old housemate who’d have been close to him, but we don’t live together anymore, and I’ve never felt fully comfortable around this lad. He’s a lot and has form for **** stirring, trying to mess with people’s relationships (an ex once told me she saw him out and he tried to bitch about me to her, so mine included) and just other needless drama. I did the basic niceties of “hi, how are you?” then just kept reading as he sat there in front of me confused. I said goodbye as I got off and he was frosty, then it occurred he probably thought I was rude. Then it occurred to me that I didn’t care if he did. I answered everything put to me by him then just did my own thing. If he decides he doesn’t want to make smalltalk next time we see each other, grand, more time for reading and stuff that matters to me.

Same applies here really. You don’t owe anyone anything. You were polite when required then just lived your life. Now granted, if you want a future, active friendship with this person or if you ever need a favour, you might have to apologise or you could be left waiting. But, if you don’t, then I wouldn’t spend an extra moment worrying about this.

SusieBlue

I agree with the above, reply saying that wasn't your intention, you were in a rush & you didn't mean to come across that way, and it was good to see him.

Maybe he's over reacting, maybe you were stand offish, I would say somewhere in the middle is the truth. You were probably a bit colder than you intended to come across & he's probably oversensitive.