Does a guys looks matter in a relationship?

noubliezjamais

Just wondering if this is the case. You here the mantra "women aren't attracted to/don't care about looks as much as men".

On the other hand, I know a guy who's pulled 3 girls all from pubs and he approached them all. When I first met him I thought he was good looking so wasn't surprised at that.

Even if women don't get physically aroused by looks like men, I'd say that matter quite a bit don't you think?

Pawwed Rig

They matter initially but after the first couple of months they don't really.

Feisar

So pulling three girls means what exactly. Quasimodo would manage that given enough time.

FFred

They matter. There has to be some physical attraction in a relationship.

noubliezjamais

FFred wrote: »

They matter. There has to be some physical attraction in a relationship.

So would you say that being short/non white affects your chances?

Pawwed Rig

Short probably
Non white probably not

bullpost

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

Short probably
Non white probably not

Well some people try to pick up girls
And get called assholes
This never happened to Pablo Picasso
He could walk down your street
And girls could not resist his stare and
So Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole
Well the girls would turn the color
Of the avocado when he would drive
Down their street in his El Dorado
He could walk down your street
And girls could not resist his stare
Pablo Picasso never got called an asshole
Not like you
Alright
Well he was only 5'3"
But girls could not resist his stare
Pablo Picasso never got called an asshole
Not in New York
Oh well be not schmuck, be not obnoxious,
Be not bellbottom bummer or asshole
Remember the story of Pablo Picasso
He could walk down your street
And girls could not resist his stare
Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole
Alright this is it
Some people try to pick up girls
And they get called an asshole
This never happened to Pablo Picasso
He could walk down your street
And girls could not resist his stare and so
Pablo Picasso was never called...

Plopsu

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

They matter initially but after the first couple of months they don't really.

That just means that they do, since the first couple of months won't happen otherwise.

Pawwed Rig

Plopsu wrote: »

That just means that they do, since the first couple of months won't happen otherwise.

There has to be an initial attraction. But attraction will get you nowhere longterm without compatibility.

Attractiveness is also subjective (or else I would never have gotten the ride). What I like does not necessarily match your tastes.

Attractiveness is not just looks either. It is your manner, what you say etc.

NSAman

Money is a major attraction for some, so the "looks" may not be the most attractive feature for a percentage.

Looks matter, attractiveness is something that can vary wildly from person to person, what you find attractive someone else will find off putting... that is why Trump has had a few women *cough*.

Honestly, for me, (looking at ladies) attractiveness comes from the personality of the individual. I have met and gone out with fantastic looking ladies, who have ultimately the personality of a wet rag. Currently, my partner is someone who is very attractive, divorced and has a warm engaging personality, people gravitate to her due to her sincerity and absolute warmth. Money means little to me, its all about the individual.

Plopsu

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

There has to be an initial attraction. But attraction will get you nowhere longterm without compatibility.

Attractiveness is also subjective (or else I would never have gotten the ride). What I like does not necessarily match your tastes.

Attractiveness is not just looks either. It is your manner, what you say etc.

Yes but the compatibility won't matter without the attraction either. I get what you're saying but the upshot is looks do matter.
Attractiveness is absolutely subjective (and sometimes of the moment) but I do think there are some people who are kind of universally attractive. These people always do well with the opposite sex (and sometimes the same sex) but (to the OP) it is a bad idea to compare yourself to them unless you are one. There's always a section of women who'll find you attractive, the issue is finding them.

One eyed Jack

noubliezjamais wrote: »

So would you say that being short/non white affects your chances?

Of course a guys looks matter in a relationship. To what degree they matter depends entirely upon the other individual (or individuals, in some cultures) they’re in a relationship with. Being short and non-white are of course immediately observable physical characteristics which are guaranteed to affect your chances one way or the other - again it simply depends upon the other person and what they, not you, find physically attractive.

In a relationship, it’s just a good idea anyway for your own self-confidence and your own health, longevity and mental health to maintain your physical appearance in reasonable condition, no different than you would expect your girlfriend/wife to maintain themselves in reasonable condition.

Maintaining attractiveness between couples is never just the extremes of physical or intellectual attraction, it’s a combination and a mix of the two in varying degrees at various stages throughout one’s life, or in the case of a relationship - throughout one’s life which they share with another person or persons.

lukin

As I always say when this question is asked; judge by a person's actions, not their words. How many times have you seen a 5 foot nothing, overweight, balding guy with crooked teeth walking down the street with a stunning blonde?
That's right; zero times.
During my time on this earth, whether it was in college or in the workplace or in the social circles I have moved in, I have never seen a stunningly beautiful woman in a relationship with an unattractive man. They have either been single or hooked up with a guy who had none of the traits I listed above. OK the guy may not have been a ten out of ten, Ryan Gosling lookalike but he certainly wasn't ugly either.
Women love this idea to be out there that they don't care about looks at all and they are more impressed by sense of humour, wit, personality etc.
It gives the a sense of moral superiority over men; "All men are interested in is breast size, having an hourglass figure and face like Scarlett Johansson but we're not like that, oh no"
But where's the evidence of this? There simply isn't any, or at least very little. They are every bit as shallow as men but will never admit it.

milli milli

Yes looks matter but I think the whole package deal is what counts (personality, achievements, etc).
Confidence and charm count for a hell of a lot, so if a guy is lacking in looks, working on your confidence can really take you places.

Also having the confidence to approach women in a ‘sound’ way (i.e. not in a pick-up artist or sleazy or drunk-and-disorderly way) - an average-looking, confident guy who approaches women will probably do better ‘pulling’ than a shy, good looking man.

And as everyone knows looks are totally subjective anyway. Women and men are into all sorts of ‘looks’ and they’re not all pin-ups.

Just to add something in my own opinion, but I think a beard improves the appearance of most men (not a Dubliners, hipster one, but a nice tidy one) - it gives more definition to the face and just looks ‘manly’

milli milli

lukin wrote: »

How many times have you seen a 5 foot nothing, overweight, balding guy with crooked teeth walking down the street with a stunning blonde?
That's right; zero times.

There’s too much of a gap in looks in this setup and wouldn’t be sustainable. Generally couples match up looks-wise. You might get one part of the couple being better-looking than the other, but the other would probably not be that ‘unattractive’ and they’d have something else to make up for the ‘discrepancy’ - money, humor, status.
I don’t know the name of the Formula 1 guy who was the opposite of a ‘looker’ but had supermodels hanging off him - so this would have been one of the people you describe but he had status and money. But I’m not sure if he ever married any of the supermodels?

And then looks are subjective so one persons ‘stunner’ is another’s ‘meh’.

lukin

milli milli wrote: »

Generally couples match up looks-wise.

Precisely.

s7ryf3925pivug

There's a minimum standard usually. Anything beyond that is a bonus rather than important. Confidence is generally more important. Short guys definitely have a tougher time.