Bereaved after the suicide of my son 11 weeks ago

Georgina1

It feels one step forward 10 steps back. My heart is shattered

snoopy84

I am so sorry for your loss. please take advantage of the supports and organisations out there for families in your situation. although I know they are under resourced they really do care and want to help you

punisher5112

As snoopy84 says use services out there and talk to someone.

I can't even imagine what you are going through and can't relate or tell you it's going to be ok but definitely reach out and please look after yourself.

Have you a o/h or close family and friends that you could talk to also?

Give these people a call, OP xxxx

Irish Friends of the Suicide Bereaved

Information
Support Group for people who are bereaved by the suicide of a relative or friend. Grief support programme including residential weekend, Spring/Autumn 8-week Bereavement Courses also available.

Contact Details
P.O. Box 162, Cork
Tel: 021-4316722

Meetings
Meetings every Wednesday at the Planning Office, St. Finbarr’s Hospital, Douglas Road, Cork.

Georgina1

punisher5112 wrote: »

As snoopy84 says use services out there and talk to someone.

I can't even imagine what you are going through and can't relate or tell you it's going to be ok but definitely reach out and please look after yourself.

Have you a o/h or close family and friends that you could talk to also?

Lots of supportive friends and family so we are lucky that way. I just want my child back

_Brian

This is tragedy beyond words and no family deserves to be visited by this terrible event.

FrancieBrady

I speak from experience of this in my own family and it is hard and the journey is excruciatingly painful but you can come through it and something beautiful, in it's own way, can emerge. Lives are transformed totally by suicide, but stronger lives can emerge and a certain contentment too.
Accepting that life will never be the same again and that you are never really going to understand why, seems to be the first hurdle to cross. But only you can decide what that life is going to be.

The very best wishes on what is going to be a journey but remember, you are not alone, there are many out there who have made it. Reach out and take every bit of help you can, it is there.
In fact, one of the amazing things about our tragedy was the amount of care and support there is.

punisher5112

Georgina1 wrote: »

Lots of supportive friends and family so we are lucky that way. I just want my child back

That's a good thing and please do reach out if you need to.

On the wanting them back that's something you will have to come to terms with but really you need to take time and look after yourself.

I wish you all the best and hope you can get over the worst.

Was just thinking about you, Georgina. How you doing today?

x

Georgina1

Strawberry Milkshake wrote: »

Was just thinking about you, Georgina. How you doing today?

x

Hey moving between being numb and anxious xxx

Georgina1

Georgina1 wrote: »

Hey moving between being numb and anxious xxx

God Bless you. Sending you prayers and good wishes.

SaltSweatSugar

Georgina, first of all I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s absolutely heartbreaking losing someone to suicide. Unfortunately I know how you feel.

It’s horrible. You’re going to go through a wide rage of emotions over the next while, but just know that it’s a completely normal reaction. You might feel heartbreak, sadness, anger, and even blame. But know that it is not your fault.

It’s ok to cry. It’s ok to scream, or shout, or bawl your eyes out. It’s ok to not talk about it if you don’t want to. But if you do want to, please talk to someone. A close friend,other family member, or any of the groups other people have mentioned here.

When you feel up to it, maybe think about attending grief counselling. I only started going before Christmas, 9 years after my mothers suicide because I didn’t feel ready until then. I should have done it sooner but you can’t force it. It’s really helping me so I would highly recommend it.

Be kind to yourself.

Mollycam

Georgina. So sorry for your sad loss. No words can console you right now. Sadly I have been through a similar situation several years ago so know what you are going through. 11 weeks ago is so recent. You need to be around people who understand what you are going through, unless you have lost a family member by suicide it is not possible for someone to understand how it affects family left behind. I attended group therapy sessions , there were 6 women who had lost their fathers, brothers and in one case a husband and it was the only place I felt safe, understood and able to say out loud how I felt. Might be a bit soon for you yet, but bear it in mind. You WILL get through this. It will be desperately difficult some days but do what you have to do on a bad day. Scream, shout ,cry, wail whatever.... Perhaps you could talk to your GP who might advice you where to get help. Take care of yourself.

AndrewJRenko

So sorry for your loss. Having seen similar loss on a family close to mine, the only suggestion I can make is to take the time and very, very tough effort that it will take to work through the grief through therapy when things settle down a bit. Without this, there is a very serious risk of permanent psychological harm to the remaining family members. It will be very, very difficult, but please take on the challenge. It will provide some help in the coming years. Sweeping things under the carpet doesn't work.