Manager has issue with me talking with my hands

TrustedApple

Hi all,

Bit of background about myself i am mixed race and part of my mixed race our culture talks with our hands when we talk or chat about things.

So today my manager brought me in a room and told me he does not like me speaking to him or others with my hands as its not nice.

I said it's part of my culture and i can't help it. He said there is people from that culture in this office and they don't really do it like you.

I am like they are from another part of the country and depending on the part is how people act just like in Ireland different part of the county different cultures.

He said he does not care about culture and to stop it.

He also told me that I said to a Co worker that he stole someone but I have on camera that I asked him a quastion do you know where something is in the room or have you moved it?

He also told me to think about another job or move into another job that I don't speak to people in.

I reported a Co worker of his another manager for bullying I had maybe 20 plus examples of the bullying and his Co workers screaming at me in the office when I asked them a quastion about where is this or that.

What should I do?.

Danger781

This sounds like an awful environment to work in and you should not need to tolerate their behavior. I would start looking elsewhere but continue working for the current employer and exploiting any potential benefits you can take advantage of in the mean time.

Nobody should care if you speak with your hands as long as you aren't insulting or threatening anyone.

Nobody has a right to scream at you.

myshirt

Why are you recording stuff on camera? You're only going to come across as a twat if you continue with that practice.

TrustedApple

Danger781 wrote: »

This sounds like an awful environment to work in and you should not need to tolerate their behavior. I would start looking elsewhere but continue working for the current employer and exploiting any potential benefits you can take advantage of in the mean time.

Nobody should care if you speak with your hands as long as you aren't insulting or threatening anyone.

Nobody has a right to scream at you.

There you go I wish I could just get on with my work with out any issue.

A Co worker (it support) refused to help a user left laptop at home and told the Co worker to go home and get his laptop. They contacted me told me what happened and in less then 5 mins I had the user on a loaner laptop with a tickit opened as well. I got giveing out to for helping the user as I was wrong to make sure he can do his job.

I have been told by manager why has he hired me?. Why am I so driven?. Stop being blunt with people and finding issues (becking policy's, seractry breaches, spoofing audits, decomm) the list go's on and he said I am paintong a target on my head over this.

I could go on for hours again I am no angal myself and I had to stand and fight my grounds but today is the day I wonted to cry.

Not me recording they are in the rooms for security and I did not fit them the company did like every office there is cameras

Thanks

drunkmonkey

What do you mean you talk with your hands. That's a skill to help people understand you and visualize what your saying.

Videoing co workers though, I'd be tempted to push you out a window, can understand why you were asked to move on.

OldMrBrennan83

myshirt wrote: »

Why are you recording stuff on camera? You're only going to come across as a twat if you continue with that practice.

Yeah, that's the issue here.

gmisk

It doesn't sound like you are a good fit for this organisation.
Are you permanent or on a contract?
Are you being blunt with people as your manager puts it?

Allinall

myshirt wrote: »

Why are you recording stuff on camera? You're only going to come across as a twat if you continue with that practice.

drunkmonkey wrote: »

What do you mean you talk with your hands. That's a skill to help people understand you and visualize what your saying.

Videoing co workers though, I'd be tempted to push you out a window, can understand why you were asked to move on.

OldMrBrennan83 wrote: »

Yeah, that's the issue here.

maybe read the thread before making nonsensical comments.

Sardonicat

drunkmonkey wrote: »

What do you mean you talk with your hands. That's a skill to help people understand you and visualize what your saying.

Videoing co workers though, I'd be tempted to push you out a window, can understand why you were asked to move on.

The OP is not videoing anyone and has explained why they uses their hands when communicating.

OP, it sounds like you are very conscientious and want to do things properly but you are working for a company that doesn't have this as an ethos. It also sounds like an attempt at constructive dismissal.

Start looking for another position and in the meantime just make sure your own work is up to par. Don't pick up the slack for anyone else or highlight anyone else's failure to do their job properly.

Being called out for gesticulating when you speak (plenty cultures do this to a greater or lesser extent) is harassment, pure and simple.

OldMrBrennan83

Allinall wrote: »

maybe read the thread before making nonsensical comments.

Your sarcasm detector needs calibration.

It does indeed sound like an awful environment but if It's very hard to get anywhere if a manager takes a personal dislike to you. I'd stay on the lookout for something else but document as much as possible in case they try to get rid of you for nothing in the meantime, the current harrasment definitely isn't above board.

endacl

drunkmonkey wrote: »

What do you mean you talk with your hands.

Gesticulating?

Or, and I’m not suggesting this is the case in this instance, but I’ve never had an appropriate opportunity to use the word.... testiculating!

Which is gesticulating while talking bollocks.

Charles Ingles

Why don't you just do as your manager asks?
When in Rome and all that!!

Mickeroo

When you say talk with your hands do you mean you just move your hands a lot when you talk? That's a really strange thing for a manager to call someone up on if that's the case.

red petal

There is no real answer without 2 sides to the story but by the tone of your post, it sounds as though you are being intense and overstepping peoples personal space with your manner. Maybe your want to impress and help people is undermining other's authority.

.......

In what sense do you "talk with your hands"?

Are you wildly waving your hands around?

While you may maintain it is part of your culture, I would put to you that it is YOU who needs to fit in with the culture in the workplace.

It may be that you are coming across aggressively or "in your face" if you are waving your hands at people.

And just a point for future reference - in a professional environment if someones addresses a point to you about your behaviour, dont immediately jump to "its my culture" - it really sounds antagonistic. You can tone down your physicality, it is not necessary for you to indulge in cultural specific behaviour in the workplace.

I work in a multi cultural environment and we have had problems with people from other countries, an example I will use is that we had a Turkish guy who would stare at people, women in particular. It was reported that he was making people uncomfortable. When addressed to him he maintained that it wasnt rude to stare in his culture. Great - thats nice for him, but the office isnt in Istanbul so it is HIS responsibility to behave in a culturally appropriate manner when in the workplace.

Das Reich

One time one co worker also Brazilian like like was asked to find another job because his manager asked something and he did a two with the fingers (index and middle finger), then he said in Ireland that not means a two but a f.off. But the reason had nothing to do with that, he was not a good worker and our boss just finded a reason to ask him to go.

Cordell

It sounds like something not important being blown out of proportion, but "it's my culture" it's not a justification either. In the workplace your culture is not important, the rules are.

TrustedApple

Talking with my hands is me you know like the classic italian way of acting out what your saying. So examples are if I don't know what your on about my hands go out confused. Or that was what I say saying my hand shakes and I click my fingers. These are actions I picked up growing up around itlains and now I am paranoid about the actions I am doing with my hands.

At one stage a person came up to me to ask me a quastion my manager would jump out of his seat and ans the quastion for the person before I said a thing.

My manager has told me I have said things on emails I asked what emails and there is no emails and I find emails he is on about I think send them to him and go look i did not say the things you said I said.

permanent been there two years. Also not recording anyone on camera the company is just like any company does.

Again two sides to every story I know I am no agenl myself but the other manager who I reported for bullying laughed in my face many a time when i tryed to speak to him and ask him quastions

Sardonicat

Have you been onto your Union Rep?

Stheno

Op

Just looking at your posting history in this forum. In the past ten months you have at least five different threads about issues you are having at work.

I'd be considering finding another job tbh

Mrs OBumble

OP I'm a foreigner too.

In your private life you can communicate however you want.

In the workplace, though, you need to fit in or fúck off.

Pawwed Rig

If you're good at IT the country is awash with jobs. I would move on. Who needs this kind of stress in their lives?

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

Charles Ingles wrote:

Why don't you just do as your manager asks? When in Rome and all that!!

Is it a reasonable request? I think not.

Stheno

Alisa Bald Vaseline wrote: »

Is it a reasonable request? I think not.

It could be that some people find it intimidating or aggressive?

Pawwed Rig

Stheno wrote: »

It could be that some people find it intimidating or aggressive?

??? How exactly? Unless the guy is jabbing his finger in the face of colleagues* or clearly being threatening**then I can't see how a hand gesture could be intimidating.

*which to be fair doesn't seem to be beyond the realms of possibility in this case.

**moving his finger in a cutting motion across his throat.

ForestFire

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

OP I'm a foreigner too.

In your private life you can communicate however you want.

In the workplace, though, you need to fit in or fúck off.

I don't know if it a good or a bad thing I had to laugh at this...
Advising someone how to communicate correctly and then telling them to F-Off....:D

I guess you consider Boards (Correctly) as you private life

Stheno

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

??? How exactly? Unless the guy is jabbing his finger in the face of colleagues* or clearly being threatening**then I can't see how a hand gesture could be intimidating.

*which to be fair doesn't seem to be beyond the realms of possibility in this case.

**moving his finger in a cutting motion across his throat.

We don't know what he is doing to be fair. I've several colleagues who don't respect people's personal space and gesticulate a lot which can be intimidating. Some combine it with speaking quite loudly, one of whom is an Italian and it can come across as being quite adversarial when that is not the intent

OldMrBrennan83

Stheno wrote: »

We don't know what he is doing to be fair. I've several colleagues who don't respect people's personal space and gesticulate a lot which can be intimidating. Some combine it with speaking quite loudly, one of whom is an Italian and it can come across as being quite adversarial when that is not the intent

You seem to have made up your mind by creeping through his post history without really knowing what he's doing too.

It's all turning into yet another case of shoot the messenger on here, but there seems to be a very clear case of personal dislike coming from the manager from the information we have.

Stheno

OldMrBrennan83 wrote: »

You seem to have made up your mind by creeping through his post history without really knowing what he's doing too.

It's all turning into yet another case of shoot the messenger on here, but there seems to be a very clear case of personal dislike coming from the manager from the information we have.

No to be honest im just familiar with the post e r due to all his threads. I was giving an example from my workplace of how some behaviours such as gesticulating can be perceived wrongly by those on the receiving end

TrustedApple

I don't think I am being threatening with my hands as I noticed on vc meetings I talk with my hand and with my pen in my other hand. Then when in meetings with my manager when I have to show him something on my laptop I point it to him with my finger on the screen.

To me this is normal?. Maybe to others this isn't?.

Eric Cartman

Stheno wrote: »

It could be that some people find it intimidating or aggressive?

or even distracting. I know its the done thing in call centres to tell people to cut it out, many new starters will be gesturing while speaking on the phone, go silent while typing and then go back to talking and gesturing, inefficient, slow, annoying and distracting to some other employees.

No idea what OP's line of work is but if it involves taking phonecalls at a desk and retreiving/entering info into a computer, hands on keyboard only while on the phone.

Sardonicat

I worked in a call centre and was never told this!

Is that why so many customer service opetators/techies sound like bots now?
"Hands on the keyboard, stick to the script. Whatever you do, don't sound like a considerate, capable employee."

mrcheez

Hmm it might offensive

https://youtu.be/XfCPIDj1eFo

banie01

This is easily the 4th or 5thwork issue thread from the OP.
If work is that troublesome, change roles.

If similar problems persist, then OP the issue isn't is the job.

TrustedApple

Request to close thread

bingbong500

Wow this thread is super racist

myshirt

bingbong500 wrote: »

Wow this thread is super racist

No it's not.

The op comes off as a pain in the ass and a stickler for my way or the highway. They've been pulled up by the manager and haven't listened to a word. On their bike I'd say. They are not going to get on anywhere with a piss poor attitude.

Dial Hard

bingbong500 wrote:

Wow this thread is super racist

I'm almost 100% sure the OP is Irish.

Stheno

Thread closed at ops request