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ending friendship

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  • 30-04-2019 3:13pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I have just stopped talking to someone that I have been friends with for over 30 years.This has been a long time coming as I have felt bad in their company now for a long time.
    He is extremely passive aggressive and always cutting me down with nasty remarks.
    When we would meet for a pint over the years for some reason you could feel the tension and anger off him.He would also do crazy upsetting stuff like we went out for a few pints one night and the next day he had put up a picture off me up on our whatsapp group alongside someone who had cancer showing a comparison for a laugh there was a lot of friends and family in that group.That was after i was in hospital for a week and going through a divorce so i was fairly run down .
    Anyways i hadn't been in touch with him much over the last year but found out last few months that his father was very sick. So i rang and asked after his father and yet again some where in the conversation he got in another biting remark something that had been going around in my head for days and annoyed me in all fairness.
    So now I have just decided to get this lad out off my life altogether and have ignored him when I seen him in the local its just that part off me feels bad as he will being having a hard time with his auld lad sick but part of me also thinks i shouldnt have to put up with his shiiite
    any longer.I don't like letting people down either !!!


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    #2
    Walter Bishop
    Registered Users Posts: 557 ✭✭✭Walter Bishop


    Your 'friend' sounds like a twat so best off shot of them.

    The thing to consider when wondering if you should cut someone out of your life is ask yourself 'what positive things does this person bring to my life?'. It's a surprisingly short list a lot of the time, and if they are only bringing negativity, then get rid.


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    #3
    wiggle16
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 3,022 Mod ✭✭✭✭wiggle16


    He sounds like a prick. And just because his da is sick doesn't make him any less of a prick.

    If you had a tapeworm, do you think you should feel bad if you took a tablet to get rid of it? In fact I'd have more sympathy for a tapeworm, at least it wouldn't post picture of you comparing you to a cancer patient.

    You're not letting him down. He's treated you poorly. You have the right to decide who gets to be in your life and why. You don't owe him anything.

    You reap what you sow, at the end of the day.


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    #4
    Ursus Horribilis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,168 ✭✭✭Ursus Horribilis


    I've seen variations of this come up again and again here on boards. Someone whose long-time friend is now being pretty horrible to them and they're confused. I think that the longevity of these old friendships can blind people to what's happening right under their noses. Someone who was nice and who you got on with 20/30 years ago might not be that same person now. If you were to meet this guy now and he treated you like this, would you want anything to do with him?

    I doubt he'll miss you if you cut contact with him. He probably has been hoping you'd take the hint and go away anyway, going by what he has said and done. It's sad that his father is ill but that doesn't take away from the fact that he's a bit of a knob and he doesn't like you.


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    #5
    Caranica
    Registered Users Posts: 10,047 ✭✭✭✭Caranica


    A dear departed friend put it to me in simple terms. In our lives we have drains and radiators, we all need more radiators and fewer drains. That made it so much easier for me to cut someone out of my life and I've never looked back.


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    #6
    Nikki Sixx
    Closed Accounts Posts: 426 ✭✭Nikki Sixx


    I know the type, they knock you down to build themselves up. I have one such college “friend,” who like that will publicly give a very cutting comment at a reunion, to boost his own ego. Usually conceited bastards too, that type.


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    #7
    Rubberchikken
    Registered Users Posts: 5,083 ✭✭✭Rubberchikken


    his insecurity and low self esteem are bolstered by treating you like crap. youve been fair but now its time to let him go.
    people like that are to be pitied. maybe hes angry for some reason unknown to anyone but himself. thats his issue to fix.


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    #8
    heretochat
    Registered Users Posts: 533 ✭✭✭heretochat


    I had a "friend" like this once. I thought he was the best friend ever and there was nothing I wouldn't do for him.

    When I had my Damascus moment and cast him aside all my other friends told me they never knew why I put up with his cr%p for so long.

    You are well rid OP


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    #9
    tawnyowl
    Registered Users Posts: 510 ✭✭✭tawnyowl


    You haven't let him down - he has let you down with all the insulting comments.

    You tried to support him when his father is ill, but this "friend" couldn't have a conversation about his father without being obnoxious.

    It's sad that his father is ill, but you tried to support him - you tried to help and he insulted you. He's not helping you or for that matter his father with that attitude.

    You have nothing to blame yourself for - you tried to help.


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