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Getting over feelings friend

  • 24-04-2019 1:32pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I thought this stuff was supposed to be for teenagers but here I am in the wrong end of my 20s having great difficulty getting over feelings for a friend. I told her a few years ago I had these feelings so it's not a case of repressing them, I just hoped they would go away once I had gotten it off my chest but that doesn't appear to be happening. I'm at a bit of a loss as to what to do next. I don't want to cut off contact as we're good friends and also have numerous mutual friends. We live in a small enough area too so we'd regularly just see each other around.


Comments

  • #2
    Xterminator
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,782 ✭✭✭Xterminator


    Hi

    2 pieces of advice.

    1. be kind to yourself. if you need a cry, have one, don't beat yourself up. if you feel sad, allow yourself to do so without putting pressure on yourself to get over it etc. there is no timetable on this.

    2. get on with your life. even if you don't feel 100% don't sit at home and cut off social ties etc. get yourself out with your mates, and fake being in good form if you have to.


  • #3
    Yellow pack crisps
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 564 ✭✭✭Yellow pack crisps


    You haven’t got over her because you haven’t met someone else. You say you live in a small enough area? Maybe if possible you could widen your social life and focus on what makes you happy. Your friends is all, all those romantic notions you have of her are imaginary. You’re letting life stagnate for no good reason. Start dating and see what happens.


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thanks for the advice. Thankfully I'm fairly good at going out and enjoying myself even when I'm not in the best of form overall, it's when I'm on my own that stuff starts getting to me. I definitely need to stop being so hard on myself for feeling down too.

    I'm definitely not putting off dating others over this, I've had a go a few times but when we break up (for unrelated reasons), my thoughts tend to go back to the same person. You're 100% right in that any romantic ideas I have are imaginary though, and I think I needed reminding of that!


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