An nonconsensual pregnancy

HmmmGirl87

I have 3 children and after the last I wanted to wait a while. My partner (not married) came inside me over a period 3 times when i asked just before the act to not. He disrespected my wish and now I am pregnant. I want to end the relationship but he refuses. I dont have family or close friends where I am. Our relationship is toxic, we fight often and I cry often. Can I hear your advice please?

Edit: all three children are from the same man

uberwolf

what you're describing is rape. Do you have state or medical support services available to you?

Ken.

Mod-Unhelpful post removed. Keep it civil please.

HmmmGirl87

uberwolf wrote: »

what you're describing is rape. Do you have state or medical support services available to you?

Even if the intercourse was with mutual consent?

Johnnyhpipe

uberwolf wrote: »

what you're describing is rape. Do you have state or medical support services available to you?

Huh??!!

dudara

You didn’t give him permission to ejaculate in you. It technically is rape as he did not have your consent.

Even if you don’t want to call it rape, he abused your trust and now you’re pregnant, even though you didn’t want to be. You need to seek external help ASAP.

HmmmGirl87

dudara wrote: »

You didn’t give him permission to ejaculate in you. It technically is rape as he did not have your consent.

Even if you don’t want to call it rape, he abused your trust and now you’re pregnant, even though you didn’t want to be. You need to seek external help ASAP.

Thank you very much

banie01

Asking someone not to ejaculate in you in the course of penetrative sex is not contraception.

To be blunt pre ejaculate and depending upon when he last wanked, viable sperm are likely to be introduced.

If you didn't want to get pregnant, contraception rather than hope should have been used.

You still have the option of abortion available.

I know other posters will jump on the "consent" issue as being key.
I would be very wary of separating consent for penetrative intercourse, with consent for the location of ejaculate and I certainly would not rely on that as the basis for claiming a non-consensual pregnancy.

Any penetration without a barrier method or hormonal contraception is a risk of pregnancy!

Ken.

Mod- Thread moved to personal issues. Read the local charter before posting. Very strict rules apply here.

Dial Hard

Do you want to continue with the pregnancy? You don't need to tell us but it's the first thing you need to decide.

Secondly, he doesn't get to decide whether the relationship ends, that's your choice. If you want to end it, then end it.

Where are your family and friends? Are you in a position to reach out to them before you tell him it's over and have a support system in place?

This has absuive relationship written all over it. If you are too isolated from your friends and family to make contact with them then I strongly suggest you contact Women's Aid immediately.

HmmmGirl87

I understand but we were practicing a form of contraception. I was planning to follow my menstrual cycle but needed to wait first for my cycle to rebegin. This is why I specifically asked him each time to not come inside me. Of course the risk is there but its not as if he pulled out but I became pregnant, he disrespected my wish.

Abortion is not my favorite route (I am pro-choice) but I have made an appointment nonetheless. This makes me very sad and is against my morals but I am not physically nor emotionally ready to have another baby. One would hope that two adults copulating would have enough respect and maturity to consider the others needs/wants/desires

pwurple

Yes, avoiding penatrative sex for ovulation periods is a perfectly valid method of contraception and often used in committed relationships. It does need the man to treat his partner with respect. I would consider this to be a crime, the same as deliberately infecting someone with HIV.

I know you said you don’t have family or friends nearby, but can you phone them for support? This is an unsafe situation for both yourself and the children.

You are in a vulnerable position and are being abused. You need a way out for all of you, one that is safe. His refusal to listen to you rings all sorts of alarm bells. In extreme situations men like this have been known to kill their partner and children.

As already advised , phone women’s aid for advice local to you. Here is their number.
tel:1800341900

dellas1979

He does not have to come inside you for you to get pregnant.

Pre-cum can contain sperm.

You say this happened 3 times. Yet after the first time, you both continued to do the same thing.

It is not only up to him to make sure you are safe and guard against unwanted pregnancies. It is also your responsibility.

I do get the feeling from your post though that you are scared of him, or scared to say no to him. Maybe that is why the above happened 3 times?

HmmmGirl87

dellas1979 wrote: »

He does not have to come inside you for you to get pregnant.

Pre-cum can contain sperm.

You say this happened 3 times. Yet after the first time, you both continued to do the same thing.

It is not only up to him to make sure you are safe and guard against unwanted pregnancies. It is also your responsibility.

I do get the feeling from your post though that you are scared of him, or scared to say no to him. Maybe that is why the above happened 3 times?

It just means that I am a naïve trusting fool.

HmmmGirl87

Hi Admin can you close this post now please?

I do not wish to go further into conversations/dbate with this subject, although my request has been duly fulfilled.

Thank you everyone for your advice, i truly do appreciate it.

dudara

Closing as per OP’s request. If you ever want to reopen it, just let one of the PI mods know.

dudara