Girl who rejected me before kissed me drunk, asked why I liked her, I didn't respond.

JohnW1993

Full Title: Girl who rejected me before kissed me drunk and asked why I liked her and if I love her. I didn't respond, and she appeared to got angry/upset?

She was from my Masters class. We "dated" about a month but ultimately rejected me. We remained friends as she was 3 months out of a 7 year relationship at the time and because we started off as friends. Nothing really went past holding hands when we dated.

She invited me to her hometown to go drinking with her friends and I met her family because I was staying over at her family home. In the kitchen her brother asked "what is this" pointing at each of us... Her reply was "you and Ciara", a reference to one of his friends. This was a mixed signal because she told me in the past that her brother has a gal friend that mutually like each other, but nobody (or he) hasn't made a move. It may not be the same girl as her response but I how will i know?

Afterwards we go pubbing an clubbing. We get very drunk, grabs my hand and interlocks my fingers and walks me the the dance floor. We started dancing, she started grinding me and she made a move. We go for shots and start kissing again.

She asked me why I liked her and if I love her. I didn't respond due to fear of a second rejection and tiptoeing around our friendship as she is dear to me... She appeared to get upset and I didn't see her for an hour after the incident.

She didn't want to talk to me for the rest of the night even when we returned to her parents house... There were tears in her eyes but I thought she was upset that she crossed the line and she was giving me the wrong signals and didn't want to hurt me again.

The next morning she comes into bedroom and lies beside me acting embarrassed and talking about lack of inhibition and why it is so unattractive. We slept/napped on the bed and her hair was basically in my face!!!! I didn't make a move due to past occurrences because usually when a girl means no, she means no and in case it ended badly. I was in her parents home in a completely different town.

She got a call from her sister later that day asking did we talk which I overheard. She got a similar message from a friend asking did we sort things out.

I ask her if there was anything there after we parted ways through text, but I was rejected for a second time and made it very clear there was nothing beyond friendship... What gives?

thefa

It’s hard to know exactly without the background of your month dating, the original rejection and previous relationships but on the face of it, it looks like two people too afraid to get hurt and going about things the wrong way. She went to the effort of inviting you over but didn’t decide to discuss feelings until you two were very drunk and wanted you to admit love for her at that point and your non answer clearly wasn’t the answer she wanted. If she was being cruel and just wanted you to admit unrequited love, I’m not sure it would make sense for her to be so upset and to then come in the next morning beside you in bed and discuss inhibitions etc. At the same time, she’s presented a fair few opportunities for you to bring up your feelings but you decided to try to bring up it by text after parting. I think there’s some truth to fair heart never won fair maiden. I know from experience how confidence can get shattered from rejection especially when you’ve built something up so much in your head but you have to be willing to put it on the line sometimes.

Big Bag of Chips

I think it sounds like she doesn't like you that much but wants you following her around wanting her. When you didn't give the answer she was expecting she got pissed off. Very bad form to invite someone to your home town, where we assume you know only her, and then disappear leaving you on your own for an hour. Very childish, attention seeking behaviour.

She's either incredibly immature and doesn't know how to deal with a relationship, or she doesn't want a relationship with you and just wants you following around like a loyal puppy so she can play with you whenever the mood takes her. Whatever this is, you don't have to put up with it. Plenty of other girls around who won't leave you standing wondering what the hell is going on.

If you like her and think you'd like a relationship with her be honest about it. If she faffs around again and doesn't commit to something then walk away from her for your own sake. You don't have to remain friends. She's just messing you around.

Mr. Incognito

You both sound very young and or immature.

I think a straight forward chat to say look, I like you but I feel that you are blowing hot and cold and you rejected me previously so I am protecting my feelings here would be fine.

wiggle16

She sounds like a messer who likes the idea of someone chasing after her.

The whole situation sounds quite strange and it's compounded by the fact that neither of you seem to want to define your terms. She's blowing hot and cold and you don't know what she wants. But at the same she asked you if you liked her and you didn't respond, for no real reason. So you're left with two people who are attracted to each other but won't be up front about it.

All that being said, she still sounds like a messer and I think you would be better off moving on and forgetting about her. You clearly like her a lot and she knows this, which is why she is playing with you.

suicide_circus

classic head melter, nothing but trouble, keep well clear.

suicide_circus

suicide_circus wrote: »

classic head melter, nothing but trouble, keep well clear.

As simple as that. Spare yourself the aggravation and stop kidding yourself. She’ll break your heart if you let her muck you around the way she will.

Xterminator

You cannot control how she thinks and reacts. And quite possibly this is not the girl that will make you happy.

But i think you also can learn a lesson from your own behaviour here.

I didn't respond due to fear of a second rejection and tiptoeing around our friendship as she is dear to me.

I am guessing that you wanted to tell her you liked her, but held back. My advice to you is that you decide now, that in the future you risk embarrassment, that you take any opportunity like that and don't be a passenger in your own life. you can protect yourself from being hurt by hiding your feelings, or you can fight for what you want. Who knows what might have happened if you had seized the moment?

Paddy Cow

She doesn't want to date you but keeps you around for attention and an ego boost. She knows you liked her and her behaviour is totally inappropriate. She got mad when ye were out because she wanted you to say loads of nice things about her to give her an ego boost. Friends shouldn't deliberately play with your emotions. She's a head melter and you should phase her out.