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How important are weight and looks

  • 11-04-2019 10:06pm
    #1
    Jane7939
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 57 ✭✭


    Hi I'm just curious what men think.....im a 40 year old seperated lady who in the future wants to date again but I've gained a good 3 stone and I wouldn't be the most attractive woman with or without weight and I also have a facial disfigurment I do know my chances of finding a partner are more then halved because of this but do you think there is even a small percentage of guys who could see past all that and see the real me?im just curious thanks all


Comments

  • #2
    Ursus Horribilis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,168 ✭✭✭Ursus Horribilis


    please don't even think about dating at the moment. Get proper legal advice about divorcing your ex husband instead of trying to do it on your own.

    You can't do much about the facial disfigurement but you can lose the weight and work on your self esteem. They should by your priorities, not finding another man. Don't even think about trying to date while your weight and disfigurement are what define you. You should be of the mindset that you're a great catch, not hoping that some man will look at your twice. It's obvious that you are very eager to date again and I think it's too soon.

    Edit: Sorry Mods!


  • #3
    .......
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,057 ✭✭✭.......


    Unfortunately as long as your true self consists of someone who thinks so badly of themselves you are probably going to find it difficult to meet someone. If you dont love yourself why would anyone else?

    Attraction is based around far more than looks in my experience but how you approach finding someone can depend more or less on it - something like Tinder will have heavy filtering based on looks while meeting someone in a group setting will be less looks based.

    If you are unhappy with your weight why dont you take steps to change it?


  • #4
    ShaShaBear
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,528 ✭✭✭ShaShaBear


    If by any chance you are the lady who has recently separated from her non-Irish husband, you really need to focus on yourself and stop obsessing about what other men are going to think of you. You've been through two traumatic relationships were your rock-bottom self-esteem has been used against you, don't even think about dating until you get out of that mindframe.

    If that's not you, most of the above still applies. Every man is different and they do not all conform to the same idea of what they find "attractive". One thing I can say, constantly putting yourself down, having no self-worth etc, is not something many people find attractive. If your weight is something that bothers you, get into a diet plan. Slimming World would likely help you as it has group image therapy sessions and would be a good way for you to get out into a safe space and meet some new people.


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