Low sex drive

Helloitsme123

IV been hurt in the past and The past 4 years I have gotten into about 2 or three relationships and I have lost my sex drive I can't feel no sexual desire I can't feel the need for sex difficult to get an erection or to even feel "horny" I don't think it's my partner's fault I did go to the doctor got my testosterone levels checked and they were fine but the doctor said that testosterone levels can fluctuate I am with somebody now and I have the same problem at times I feel in love with this person but other times I feel so empty and it's not because I don't love this person back it's because I can't get horny I get trouble getting an erection too I do believe that there is something wrong with my testosterone because it's not normal im a guy in my mid 20s non smoker non drinker no drugs I have been hurt in the past but I refuse to believe me being hurt in the past is the reason im like this... I just want to be happy and in love

Dial Hard

Can you arouse yourself? As in, can you/do you masturbate?

milli milli

Helloitsme123 wrote: »

but other times I feel so empty

OP what do you mean by ‘feeling empty’? Is this related to your arousal? In that you don’t feel turned on at all?
Or is it an emptiness about life in general?
If it’s the latter, could you be stressed or depressed? How are things with you in general - your job, your relationships, your feelings about yourself, your health and your quality of life? Are things good or good enough there?

tedpan

No smoking, drink or drugs is not 'normal' for the average Irish adult. The majority of adults do at least one of them. Hope you get sorted soon..

milli milli

tedpan wrote: »

No smoking, drink or drugs is not 'normal' for the average Irish adult. The majority of adults do at least one of them. Hope you get sorted soon..

How on earth is this kind of post helpful to the OP? So on top of his issue, you are singling him out as being ‘abnormal’?
OP ignore this post. How you choose to live your life, is up to you.

Hoboo

tedpan wrote: »

No smoking, drink or drugs is not 'normal' for the average Irish adult. The majority of adults do at least one of them. Hope you get sorted soon..

Trolling isn't normal. Hope you get sorted soon.

Helloitsme123

My sex drive is non existent is comes and goes .. the things that usually turn me on I notice them but I don't get sexually excited by them ..my partner and I have sex I can get erection but very hard to ejaculate...

Paddy Cow

Helloitsme123 wrote: »

IV been hurt in the past and The past 4 years I have gotten into about 2 or three relationships and I have lost my sex drive I can't feel no sexual desire I can't feel the need for sex difficult to get an erection or to even feel "horny" I don't think it's my partner's fault I did go to the doctor got my testosterone levels checked and they were fine but the doctor said that testosterone levels can fluctuate I am with somebody now and I have the same problem at times I feel in love with this person but other times I feel so empty and it's not because I don't love this person back it's because I can't get horny I get trouble getting an erection too I do believe that there is something wrong with my testosterone because it's not normal im a guy in my mid 20s non smoker non drinker no drugs I have been hurt in the past but I refuse to believe me being hurt in the past is the reason im like this... I just want to be happy and in love

You've had your testosterone levels checked and they are normal. When a problem isn't physical, it can be mental. You mention more than once that you've been hurt in the past and sometimes feel empty. I'm not a doctor and this is not medical advice but it might be worth speaking to a doctor/therapist about your mental health. There is no shame in this. You'd be surprised the amount of people who are on anti-depressants and/or seeking therapy. It takes a strong person to realise they have an underlying issue and seek to resolve it.

It would be easier for you if there was a physical problem because then there'd be a tangible solution. Please don't get hung up on your testosterone levels. They've been checked. They're fine. Refusing to believe that the hurt you experienced in the past has anything to do with it, is only going to continue to cause you hurt in the future.

If a woman had been hurt in the past and couldn't get aroused in future relationships, she would be advised to seek counselling to get to the root of the problem. It's 2019 and we don't still think that men are up for it 24/7 and are sex machines without emotion. Men also have emotions and sex is very intimate. If your emotions are all over the place and you are burying them deep down because you think you shouldn't have them, it could be manifesting in your bedroom problem.

If you want to be happy and in love, then that means exploring every avenue, including mental health. You don't mention how you were hurt and I don't expect you to post it here but have a good think on what happened in the past and how it has shaped you. We all like to think we are strong and can deal with the crap other people put us through but sometimes they can leave scars that don't heal. The other people walk away but we have to deal with the fallout.

If an ex gave you an STD you'd go to the doctor to remedy it. You wouldn't leave it untreated and start a new relationship and hope the problem just went away. If an ex left you with mental scars, you need counselling to resolve it, otherwise you're just carrying the same problems. Your partner is not the problem here. I'm not saying you are a problem but you do have issues and I hope you resolve them so you can be happy and have a good relationship.

MartyMcFly84

Most doctors in Ireland want nothing to do with Testosterone. They don't like checking for it , and if they do unless its chronically low they will say its fine. We are 20 years behind the USA on this medically.

There is a "normal healthy range" for Testosterone levels. However this means you have enough to keep your body functioning, that doesn't mean you have levels to have a great quality of life.

Being in the normal levels can mean you have the levels of the bottom 5% of the "normal rage" and that range is huge. You could be in the top 5% with Testosterone replacement therapy. Definitely would recommend speaking to Doctors specialising in this therapy.

Western Lowland Gorilla

MartyMcFly84 wrote: »

Most doctors in Ireland want nothing to do with Testosterone. They don't like checking for it , and if they do unless its chronically low they will say its fine. We are 20 years behind the USA on this medically.

There is a "normal healthy range" for Testosterone levels. However this means you have enough to keep your body functioning, that doesn't mean you have levels to have a great quality of life.

Being in the normal levels can mean you have the levels of the bottom 5% of the "normal rage" and that range is huge. You could be in the top 5% with Testosterone replacement therapy. Definitely would recommend speaking to Doctors specialising in this therapy.

Agreed. That range is a joke. They don't factor in age in it. Literally for all adults.

You could also be stressed about work, money, your own physical self and just not be that interested in sex as a result. Could manifest in low testosterone, could be a vicious circle.

LegacyUser

Helloitsme123 wrote: »

IV been hurt in the past and The past 4 years I have gotten into about 2 or three relationships and I have lost my sex drive I can't feel no sexual desire I can't feel the need for sex difficult to get an erection or to even feel "horny" I don't think it's my partner's fault I did go to the doctor got my testosterone levels checked and they were fine but the doctor said that testosterone levels can fluctuate I am with somebody now and I have the same problem at times I feel in love with this person but other times I feel so empty and it's not because I don't love this person back it's because I can't get horny I get trouble getting an erection too I do believe that there is something wrong with my testosterone because it's not normal im a guy in my mid 20s non smoker non drinker no drugs I have been hurt in the past but I refuse to believe me being hurt in the past is the reason im like this... I just want to be happy and in love

Hey OP,

This may be completely unrelated to your situation but I have had erectile dysfunction problems in the past and I am only in my early 20's and I really sympathise with your situation as it can be incredibly demoralising.

To cut a long story short, it turned out my problem was watching too much porn. Completely messed with my head & my ability to get aroused from normal sex. No doctor told me this and told me the same story with testosterone levels being normal.

I don't know if this is an issue you have or even if you watch porn much but if it is, cut porn out completely. Masturbation for at least a month. I cut it out and today I have no more issues with sex drive or getting aroused. Can ride away to my hearts content.

Look up the TED talk titled 'your brain on porn' on YouTube if you think this could have anything to do with it if you want more info on it.

Hope this helps.