Losing friend?

LegacyUser

Hi all,

Just looking to get an opinion on what I should do regarding a friend that has been getting me down as of late.

In truth, she has been acting in ways that I feel have been insidious for years. It starts with small things such as differences of view on topics such as politics, religion or other current affairs. I am fine with differences in points of view but she constantly tries to debate me on these things and get me to change my mind - when I don't, I am not as 'worldly' as her or there are patronising sniggers and smirks.

When she does anything somewhat positively, I am delighted for her. I try to be positive for her by organising dinners or whatever if she passes her exams. The other way around, she rarely gives more than a cursory 'well done'. She has deliberately told me that she 'actively does not give out praise'.

I have been a little overweight for a number of years and because of that and some social anxiety, I have struggled in finding a partner. I'm still pretty I think, or so I'm told. On two particular occasions, she has broken up me flirting with a guy and has actively gone after him under the guise of it suddenly then being a group chat. On one occasion, she went home with one guy and tried to tell me all about it the following week. On a number of occasions she has offered her 'help' with fellas because 'she is good with these sorts of things'. This is all unrequested help and is more like her trying to brag.

On another occasion a supposed mutual friend invited her to her wedding and not me, despite us all supposedly being friends. While my friend said it was poor form on the mutual friend's fault, she didn't say anything to her and went along to the wedding as if everything was fine.

My point is - this is a woman who I have been friends with for a long time however I feel that over time we have drifted apart. Not only that, I feel as if she insidiously breaking down my confidence.

Tell me I am wrong and my imagination is acting up on me?

Thanks,

J x

road_high

Sounds like the biggest favour you could do yourself is ditch this “friend”. Jealous, undermining and selfish hardly begin to describe!
I’ve seen this before in groups of girls I’ve been acquainted with- particularly one who kept another over weight friend down in similar ways. She lacks a lot confidence herself but needs to validate herself by keeping you down.
The two “friends” sound well matched so let them at it!

iamwhoiam

Do yourself a favour OP and read your post as if it was a stranger who wrote it
You would advise a stranger that this girl is not a friend . Friends support each other and praise each other
This girl is using you to prop her her own self esteem and she will drag you down
You don't need that kind of friendship in your life . Lift your head up and be proud of yourself and know you don't need her

Ursus Horribilis

If you met this woman now and she treated you like this, you wouldn't be long ditching her. Sometimes people try to keep old friendships going just because they've known each other since they were 5. Maybe this was a genuine friendship years ago but it certainly isn't now. She doesn't sound like a nice person and she's not your friend. You probably serve some role in her life but it's not as a friend.

Your Face

She doesn't sound like a friend.