I had a meltdown

6541

I have worked 12 hrs solid 5 days a week on salary, no let up since Christmas. This is to get a project over the line. Bull**** American multinational. I made some decisions this week just to move projects, timelines on etc, my boss calls me today and completely disagrees with a decision I made yesterday. Lots of shouting. I am normally a Alfa male, during the call I melted. I couldnt take the pressure anymore. I said I needed 5 minutes and hung up. Walked outside and had a melt down.
Things have utterly changed in my mind. I realise I cannot take the pressure. Why am I writing this, because I am still melted over a ****ing job. I nearly lost my mental health today.

Wanderer78

American multinationals couldn't give a rats arse about your well being, I've seen managers going on stress leave after having break downs, but be thankful that high level managers stock value increases by multiples of millions year on year from your efforts. Get out before your dead. Best of luck

Doctors room ghost

A thing I saw lately that stuck with me was,don’t let the companys problems become you’re problems.

Slow things down and relax.if you dropped dead in the morning god forbid the job would still be there and they would just get someone else to do it.fcuk the deadlines.relax and look after yourself

Ardent

Sorry to hear it, sounds like a nightmare job. Nothing is worth that level of stress. I've been where you are. Trust me, not all roles and environments are like that, they are the exception rather than the rule. Dust yourself off, get your CV out there and get through the next few weeks or so until you find something better.

lbc2019

Lifes too short. Work hard play hard is bs.

Alpha Male is bs. Dont put yourself into a box.

punisher5112

No job is worth that stress.

You should look at other options.

I would be slowing down a bit and looking after no. 1 more.

nlrkjos

Work to live....don't live to work, take a time out, pull some sick leave and re-evaluate where you are, talk to your mates go for a few pints, do what you enjoy. Always works for me, stress is a silent killer bud,but you can see it coming.

The Specialist

6541 wrote: »

I have worked 12 hrs solid 5 days a week on salary, no let up since Christmas. This is to get a project over the line. Bull**** American multinational. I made some decisions this week just to move projects, timelines on etc, my boss calls me today and completely disagrees with a decision I made yesterday. Lots of shouting. I am normally a Alfa male, during the call I melted. I couldnt take the pressure anymore. I said I needed 5 minutes and hung up. Walked outside and had a melt down.
Things have utterly changed in my mind. I realise I cannot take the pressure. Why am I writing this, because I am still melted over a ****ing job. I nearly lost my mental health today.

Forget the alpha male stuff, nobody is immune to stress. I’ve been there and done that man and it’s not a good place, spent 2 1/2 months out in 2016 due to a situation similar to yours. For your own sake, make an appointment with your doc ASAP and honestly consider taking some time out. No job is worth that stress and you need to look after yourself.

One of my friends was like this for years. Saving for his daughter. We warned him and pleaded that he relax so he'd be alive for her. Had a stroke last year at 37 from it all.

Work is just a way to get money to live life. Take sick leave, be honest and say why, and judge your future with the company based on what they say, and how you feel with some time off.

Wildly Boaring

A lot of us have been there.

I lost 2 stone in 4 or 5 months trying to get a building done by a deadline in 2011.

The thanks I got for handover 2 days early?
None. I quit that day.

You are only a number to these clowns.
Breath and take the weekend to enjoy a bit of nature.

Along with getting the CV polished up I would actually seek professional help. Talk to the GP they probably have someone locally they can recommend.

You get one crack at this life. Why do it under duress?

6541

Thanks all, really appreciate the input. I totally see a readjustment is required. American multinational 1 - Irish chap 0.

Etc

Everybody has a tipping point. You reached yours today. I've been there before, it's liberating in one way and on the other hand you feel like it's a failure on your part.

The thing is it isn't a failure, you now realise the bullsh1t of the organisation. And that's you re balancing the power. You're back in the driving seat so set your own parameters, achieve the objectives you agreed with your manager at the start of the year and make sure that you can show you're hitting them.

After that your boss can say what he/she likes but you've taken back the control of the situation.

Sometimes a situation like this is actually a good thing because it makes you stop, think and see things with a new clarity.

Wildly Boaring

The Specialist wrote: »

Forget the alpha male stuff, nobody is immune to stress.

I have found to my cost that being the one in charge and seeing yourself as responsible for everything is not healthy.

I found that I was actually projecting that image due to insecurity and ego. It's a "work on" as Joe schmidt would say.

6541

6541 wrote: »

Thanks all, really appreciate the input. I totally see a readjustment is required. American multinational 1 - Irish chap 0.

your work may have some counselling service thing buried in the small print / in health and safetly outlines.

many companies have them anyways these days.

give them a ring - they are anonymous.

The Specialist

Wildly Boaring wrote: »

I have found to my cost that being the one in charge and seeing yourself as responsible for everything is not healthy.

I found that I was actually projecting that image due to insecurity and ego. It's a "work on" as Joe schmidt would say.

Absolutely, same situation I had - overloaded with tasks and calls and reports, everybody looking to me for answers after a catastrophic “go-live”. Felt I had to say yes to everything thrown at me. I ended up burnt out with a side dose of GAD & depression.

The time away from work was a game changer though - you appreciate parts of your life so much more and realise what is actually important, when the threat of meetings or deadlines aren’t on your back or your mind.

ExoPolitic

If it has affected you in such a way, I'd speak to a lawyer and get a psychiatric consultant to see you and make a report...

Rubberchikken

everyone really needs to realise that life/work/deadlines/whatever do carry on when we're dead have left for another job.

if that was engrained in all of us the world of work would be a much more relaxed place.

OMM 0000

Looking at your last 5 posts on boards:

I had an experience in a Spanish Police station where I was reporting a lost wallet. The cops thought I was a hooligan and were in general fairly aggressive.

In an Irish bar in Sydney, Salvation Army came in looking for money. I was drunk, I called them English protestants etc. Didn't give them any money, they left the bar.

It seems you have some sort of anger / aggression issue.

Worth looking into?

OMM 0000

Deleted User wrote: »

Link?

Sorry I have no idea why I said Reddit, I meant boards.

I'll fix my post now.

joeguevara

What you want out of this thread?

Yes they will have your job advertised quicker than an obituary.

No one is better than their job. As a CEO I haven’t had a holiday since June 2016. Is that cool? No it’s not. IS it cool you had a shouting matching. Fcuk no.

What you want? Take it. Don’t die being a martyr.

The Bishop Basher

I’m 22 years working in American multinationals and friends often comment on how easy I have it.

The situation you’re facing has nothing to do with it being an American multinational and everything to with having a bad boss.

Your “alpha male” comment is also quite telling.

None of us are robots. We all think and feel. Considering yourself alpha would suggest you’ve been gritting your teeth and not facing up to this issue so it’s come to a breaking point. That’s as much on you as it is on your boss.

Either move onto another role within the company or leave and get a job elsewhere but don’t think for 2 seconds this can’t happen in an Irish company because it can and it does.

I agree with all the other posters that family, health and your life should always come before work but taking stress leave is likely to impact future prospects so it’s worth bearing that in mind when weighing up your options.

I wish you the best of luck whatever you decide but no matter make sure you put your health first, no job is worth dying for.

Yamanoto

6541 wrote: »

I am normally a Alfa male

More of a Saab man myself.

Steer55

6541 wrote: »

Thanks all, really appreciate the input. I totally see a readjustment is required. American multinational 1 - Irish chap 0.

Take a long holiday and consider a less stressful dole, life will go on regardless so don't waste your time working yourself to an early grave.

my3cents

Steer55 wrote: »

Take a long holiday and consider a less stressful dole, life will go on regardless so don't waste your time working yourself to an early grave.

Freudian slip?

Rx713B

Take some time - re-evaluate - push forward and watch your health / mental health. My father was the same worked every hour available and was dragged through the dirt by his employer. It soon came to a halt though with a heart attack. Stress was a cause along with many other other things. Just remember you are not stuck. You control your own happiness no one else.

Feets

Sorry to hear your bosses are being unreasonable. I feel companies are expecting more as we are marching to the beat of their drum..is it realistic to do the hours that you are paid for? Be upfront with them at the start of projects about the misleading timeline...dont change half way through or at the last minute. Transnational corporations do not care about anything but the bottom line...they are set up to work that way.

Wabbit Ears

I had a burn out last year, took 6 weeks off to get my head together.

The world didn't end, the company didn't collapse, The projects continued.

the important thing to remember is its not the company's fault. Its not your managers fault. Learn how to manage your own time and the expectations of others smartly. There is loads of courses you can do on it, It doesn't come naturally to a lot of people, but is a skill easily learned.

NotWorthIt

I feel your pain OP. A lot of people here seem to have been through similar, myself included.

I had a bit of a melt down myself a couple of years ago. Again, working for a large American multinational. Our team was small but our workload was huge. The few experienced members of staff left, were replaced by relative newcomers to the industry who were not given sufficient training. Broke my heart to see how much they hated the place, how scared they were to be asked something they knew nothing about. Really nice people, but it was awful to have a front row seat seeing their decline from "aspiring new hire full of motivation and wanting to impress" to "angry, scared and depressed office zombie", and it happened so quickly too.

I was trying my best to manage a project that should have had 4 or 5 dedicated resources working on it. Instead, there was me and one of new starters mentioned above. We absolutely hated it. There was just so much work, so many meetings and so many calls. Felt like we spent more time talking about the project than actually working on it. Our department head was deliberately avoiding the project, and one of the final straws for me was finding out he had booked his holidays to go coincide with a week either side of the go-live date. That, and a promotion I really felt I should have got was taken away from my line of work, and instead given to another team member who was terrible at their job, but who was a regular golfing and boozing buddy of the manager.

We also sat in an open floor office surrounded by other teams, and it was embarrassing having your boss berate you and your colleagues in front of 20/30 other people from around the company.

My hours were crazy, and it got to a point where I was getting phone calls to my mobile from work asking me about certain things. Was regularly working late into the night, I think the worst was when I was going on holiday - I had a flight at around 6am in the morning. I didn't finish working until close to 3am that night. Not being able to enjoy the holiday either knowing what I'd be coming back to.

I was utterly miserable. My weight ballooned, and my overall mood deteriorated. I don't really talk about how bad things were, but I was in bed at night in tears, a big 6ft 2 lad such as myself, crying because I was so depressed. Thoughts I'd never had before entered my head every night, some completely unrelated to work - how everyone I care about will die some day, how I'll cope when it happens to my family or someone I care about, how will I manage without my mother, what did my fiance see in me, how has life not worked out how I planned, how utterly meaningless everything was. Balling my eyes out every night trying not to wake my fiance beside me, having to sneak into the living room or bathroom at night while she was asleep so I wouldn't wake her and so I could cry.

Granted, there's probably some underlying issues there but I the stress and pressure I was under was the big contributing factor. I started getting crippling migraines for the first time in my life and would get shortness of breath at my desk as the emails kept rolling in. Couldn't concentrate or focus on anything by the end.

One day, we had an argument in the office - partly prompted by how utterly miserable and unapproachable I had become. And I snapped. I told my boss and his buddy to fúck off, got my jacket and walked out the door.

That was the last day I worked there. It took easily 2/3 months for my health to recover. My mental and physical health have improved dramatically since then, and I made a promise that work would never be anything other than a 9-5 that I could forget about as soon as I put on my jacket every evening.

IJS84

We've all been there, well I have.
I worked as chef for 15 years, every weekend, came in on days off, covered guys sick days and burst my gut for the place. The stress pushed me over the edge and the exhaustion.
The penny dropped for me when I had an accident and they didnt want to know.

stayed at it for 12 months more after I came back to work but was looking elsewhere, realised I didnt want to be in that situation again and done my research to retrain myself to get another job, hence the 12 months later.

I made the move and now working in a completely different sector, I clock in and clock out. I only do the extra work if it suits me and not the company, the company I work for hasnt got the best rep, but I took a position with them as they pay for exams for a qualification, so essentially Im using them for now for my retraining.

Moral of the story. Look after No.1. at the end of the day you will ALWAYS be just a number to company.
Best advice I ever got was from a friend of mine when I had the accident
''If you died in the morning, you rjob would be posted before your obituary, stop killing yourself for someone else''

do what makes you happy and keeps your mental health, not just for you but it can effect your family aswell, and if you have kids - they look up to you and take guidance from you and mirror what you do.

The 1st step is that you've admitted it to yourself and you can now make a change

stay strong and best wishes for whatever move you make

Tomw86

I had similar, except I did not let work take over my life & health!

Basically, was brought in at the start of a take on that was due to go live in a couple of months - I assessed the team I had (I had worked for the company before so knew management, systems, etc) and what was required during a testing and go live phase. One of my small team had been given a full month off during a crucial period.

I went to Management with a distinct report - Introduction, assessement, resourcing, conclusion and told them we were desperately short and needed 2 or 3 more headcount, even if a couple were internal and on a 3 month basis. They hired 1 guy with NO RELEVANT EXPERIENCE who was going on Paternity leave and combining it with annual leave to take a month just after go live.

Long story short - I had communication on all this with my manager, we did very long days, 10-12 hours as a team throughout the testing period. When we went live daily deadlines were being missed and my Manager, as well as his Manager were leaving every day while we stayed. He pulled me up on it one day on the floor in front of the team as the client raised it as an isssue and I challenged him - he didn't expect it at all, I gave him dates of emails, meetings I'd had, points I'd raised and asked him why he never addressed them or offered assistance himself. He never approached me on the floor again but continued to put the blame on me with other Managers.

I made a point of ensuring my team only did 1 hour overtime a day unless they wanted to do extra.

When the client raised an official complaint I went to a meeting as the Team Leader and had all my correspondence in order for Senior Management, I had even logged the confrontation we had had on the floor. They sided with me and agreed Management had turned a blind eye to resourcing until it was too late.

I left the role as the salary for responsibility didn't match up, I ended up in a much more rewarding role and I know that company is struggling to recruit now as so many of their experienced staff left.

Basically - don't take any ****. That saying of Work to Live don't Live to Work is the best one you can take. Stress will kill and alienated you. It changes who you are.

no.8

Absolute nonsense... Your post (Joe Guevara)



OP, the feedback you have received here is fantastic (on the whole). I think many of us have been there, or are there and as has been said, look out for no.1. You cannot trust that your team will be fully resourced or that management will back you if your project gets into deep water so back yourself to complete as tasks as best you can and within reason + keep your actions well documented. Not saying I'm good at this but it's something to fight for.

Steer55

6541 wrote: »

Thanks all, really appreciate the input. I totally see a readjustment is required. American multinational 1 - Irish chap 0.

Go on a holiday or even a hike.up a mountain, take stock of your life. Look at whats important to you, family and friends. The rest does not matter, be.careful and all wlll be.fine.

Sir Oxman

lbc2019 wrote: »

Lifes too short. Work hard play hard is bs.

Alpha Male is bs. Dont put yourself into a box.

^This
I used to believe that BS once, no more.


OP, reset your mind if you can and make plans to move on - doesn't have to be soon.
Once you know in your head you are out of there, it makes the world of difference.

4068ac1elhodqr

Have also heard of similar stories as above, fairly healthy lads in their early 40's (having strokes) from overwork.
One lad: Pure straight-A, 1st class(hons), sober, slim, smart chartered type is now selling his v.large house to pay for the sudden increase of caring for his family due to this.

Another (early 40's) walking round with a chest scar from open heart surgery, not even sure if he'll even be able to spend that planned golden pension, and they keep increasing the qualifying age threshold.

The only time you should be working regular 12hrs is as a 3-day weeker or freelance contractor/consultant, whereby can invoice and take the next week (or 3mths) off.
Even then, have seen coffee-laden folks walk into office doorframes and falling asleep in toilets, all from lack of focus and sleep deprevation.
The natural circadian rhythm is also taking a beating if you can't alpha-wave/powernap even for 20mins within that 12hrs.

The sooner folks such as uk's Labour introduce the 32-hour full-time working week as standard (with no loss of pay) as an example, the better.
France had the opportunity via Mélenchon, but opted instead for the wee lad and thus now have weekly inequality protests.
In the US, Yang is running for POTUS mainly on the offer of $1k free for everyone, everymonth (UBI) for the coming gig-automation world.