Re-entry

LegacyUser

Hey so yes this is another one of those whats the scene like question but bear with me..

I'm just out of a decade long (gay male) relationship. Monogamous (and he had some strong issues around the gay scene and culture and community - pretty much anything with a rainbow flag or LGBT attached). So I am well off the scene and online dating game.

When I came out I was heading to college, there was an LGB soc that I joined and that's how I met friends and partners. When I was leaving college I met my ex, moved away or grew apart from friends and avoided anything to do with the LGBT community to keep him quiet (but yes, my choice). There was the dating website Gaydar but no smartphones, no dating apps.

I am where I am now and feel completely overwhelmed by the thought of re-entering the scene, as well as alone. I know that there are apps and sites and bars and stuff out there but I can't find an Irish run-through or a comparison of them. I'm not the type of person who can easily walk into a bar and start chatting to strangers. I've no appetite for one nighters.

I am prepared for it to take time and some trial & error, but how would you advise me to start moving on? Whats your experiences of the apps and bars?

Goodshape

Was in a similar situation myself a couple of years ago. I tried the apps and bars thing. Occasionally fun, more often not. Although I've always had a short patience for late bars or clubs or any of that anyway. Just not really my thing and for a while it was a bit depressing to think that this was all the "gay scene" had to offer. But it's not, of course.

I had more fun (and better luck meeting friends and partners) by going to a few gay groups I found on meetup.com. They can be a great way to meet other gay men who share your interests – be that sports, art, meditation, theatre, board games, just about anything really.

I do recommend giving it all a go – the apps, the bars, the clubs, the groups – because why not? . But it's the meetup.com groups that worked best for me. Made some great new friends, and a new partner ;-)

imme

Things like meetup.com are a good start, they offer a broad view as to what is available in terms of groups that might like to go along to to broaden your social circle.

Some might be more age particular, some will have an age range that they aim to.

Others have no age range but tend to attract a mostly older or younger audience.

Apps or websites don't do much for me, but that is me.

Good luck to you.

LegacyUser

OP here again, thanks for your replies. They've given me some hope.
I think I'll start with a meetup event or two and go from there.

Anteayer

Similar situation here too lol

Bi guy in my 30s back to Ireland and also single following a long relationship. I'm just finding Irish cities a extremely focused on <25s which is a bit disappointing compared to some continental cities.

Dickie10

is there a gay district in dublin per se, like places with cafes etc and not just bars?

Heebie

Dickie10 wrote:

is there a gay district in dublin per se, like places with cafes etc and not just bars?

Oh, I so wish! There are gay owned and operated businesses, but no concentration of them. No concentration of us living in proximity to each other, either. We seem to be there only city ever without a "gay ghetto"

Annasopra

Dickie10 wrote: »

is there a gay district in dublin per se, like places with cafes etc and not just bars?

Ish. Capel St, Georges St, Parliament St all fairly gay friendly