What to do about my therapist?

dublingirlx

Hi there. I just want advise really? I have found myself in a really awkward situation (well to me it is) and i don't know what to do. I finally plucked up the courage to go to therapy a month ago and have been a few times. It is in the therapist's home, in a private room at the side of her house. I have just recently found out quite by accident that my therapist is the mother of a guy i know quite well and would see 2-3 times a week and who still lives at home. Ever since, I feel quite weird and while I don't want to give up on therapy so early on, I would be mortified if I bumped into him arriving to therapy. I don't know whether to say it to my therapist or not because I feel very private about going and now the fear of him seeing me there is really getting to me and I don't feel relaxed about being there anymore! What should I do?

Mr. Incognito

Ring her and explain this situation and ask for her recommendations to meet a neutral venue or recommend another therapist.

Personally I see a therapist and while I wouldnt broadcast it I'm not ashamed of it either.

I dont see what the issue is personally. Would you be afraid to bump into him in the doctors waiting room?

dublingirlx

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

Ring her and explain this situation and ask for her recommendations to meet a neutral venue or recommend another therapist.

Personally I see a therapist and while I wouldnt broadcast it I'm not ashamed of it either.

I dont see what the issue is personally. Would you be afraid to bump into him in the doctors waiting room?

I'm not ashamed of it at all, but still getting used to the whole therapy thing that's all. It took me a long time to pluck up the courage to go to. I can't explain why it makes me feel uncomfortable, all I know is, that is how I feel. I certainly wouldn't be afraid to bump into him at the doctor's but I think this is a little different. Well to me it is! I am nervous that he is in the house, or that I can be heard etc etc! I just don't think I would feel relaxed enough and also I might withhold certain things in sessions because of thinking he might be there or can hear what is going on! I am sure my therapist is professional but these are just some of the worries I have!

Ursus Horribilis

I think you should say it to your therapist and see are they amenable to seeing you somewhere else. Or if not, recommending somebody else. Unlike the person who posted above me, I very much get where you're coming from. I'd not be comfortable either and your concerns are legitimate. Talk to her and see what she has to say.

Rubberchikken

i think id be the samw in the circumstances.
as you've finally been able to go for therapy it wouls be upsetting and maybe a step back if you were to encounter him.

could you talk to the therapist and explain the situation and maybe get a recommendation for someone else.

Cash_Q

I'd be very uncomfortable too. One therapist I saw had been in school with my older brother, and I got such a fright when I met him that I burst into tears and told him. He understood where I was coming from and left it up to me if I wanted to see him again or not, and it turned out to be the best therapeutic process I experienced. He hadn't seen or spoken to my brother in years and hadn't really been that friendly with him in the first place, and I grew to trust the professional nature and confidentiality of the situation.

I don't think the doctor's waiting room is a fair comparison. It's impossible to know why anyone would be in a doctor's waiting room. Of course it's impossible to know why any individual seeks therapy but it's apparent that that is the service they're availing of. There's nothing to be embarrassed about but it is a deeply private and personal thing.

I think you should tell your therapist and see what they think. They may be able to offer reassurance that their son is out of the house during their hours of work, or some other reassurance. I can't see how they could meet you at a neutral venue as someone else suggested, it would probably require them hiring a private space..you can't exactly have a therapy session in a coffee shop or the library.

Down the hatch

Speak with therapist. They can schedule appointment when son not there.

Purple Mountain

Well done on taking the leap and making the decision to start therapy.
I can 100% understand your discomfort around this situation.
I would be the same.
Definitely be upfront with her and tell her the truth and see if you both can reach an agreement.
Whatever you do, don't do nothing because your sessions will be counterproductive.

LegacyUser

Firstly, well done on taking that step. It's huge. One of the best things I have ever done was seek help via counselling. It takes a lot of courage to take that very first step, picking up the phone and walking in the door for the first time.

Secondly, I totally understand what you mean. I would mention it to your therapist. She has probably foreseen this possible issue with clients and other members of the family are more than likely under strict instructions to avoid any possibility of bumping into clients arriving or leaving.

I attended my counsellor in her own house and it was very well set up. I never saw or heard anyone else. I don't think an alternative venue would work, as this is her set up, and she is unlikely to have an alternative. It's a very valid concern, so do air it with her.

I wish you all the best and I hope that everything turns out well for you.

ChrissieH

Hi OP,
As most of the other posters have said, you can absolutely bring this up with your therapist and the chances are that she will be able to reassure you that there's no chance of bumping into her son - I have friends who are therapists and they try, as much as possible, to ensure that family members are not around when they have appointments scheduled. It's the same with their clients; most therapists don't schedule back-to-back appointments, so it's not comparable to the doctors surgery - unless the therapist is extremely busy, most will leave a gap between clients to make sure that people aren't passing each other on their way in and out.

Therapists are very sensitive to their client's privacy and I'm certain that your therapist would much prefer you to voice your concerns and continue the relationship than to say nothing and eventually withdraw from the sessions altogether.