Pregnant after Third Degree Tear

oopsies

Hi all,

This has been wrecking my head for the last few weeks. Im 13 weeks with no2.

My first was born after a 33 hour intense labour. I had an epidural eventually and at the stage of pushing I couldnt feel contractions so I just pushed when they told me to and bang goes my perinium! 3B tear with quite a long recovery.

Sorry I dont mean to scare anyone, but I have no idea what to do for this labour. After my sons birth I was told by a midwife and consultant that they would offer an elective section this time around.

One day I feel like I'd like to go natural but Im terrified of it happening again. Next day I'm all for the section but also nervous about the recovery!

Anyone been in the same position and what did you do?

Im public in the Coombe if that makes a difference...

ainy

I had a similar experience but didn't have a 3rd degree tear, I had an episiotomy on which the stitches broke down after 5 days and meant I had a prolonged recovery, antibiotics and hospital visits.

When I got pregnant on my second, I initially felt like I could do vaginal delivery again, As my pregnancy went on though I developed vulvular varicose veins, I was so swollen down there that I got petrified of a vaginal delivery.

When I was at my hospital visit around 36 wks, they noted the veins and given my previous delivery offered me the option of c section. I broke down in tears with relief, I didn't realise how anxious and terrified of delivery I was until I was given options.

It still took me 2 weeks to come to the decision of having a c- section as i thought im choosing to have major surgery and felt guilty but it was the best decision ever, despite again having a wound infection requiring antibiotics after.

I am not having any more children but if I was I would choose section again.

pwurple

So, I had a 3rd degree tear as well, but on my second daughter. Head was fine, shoulders came out with a twist the midwives weren't ready for... anyway I had to go back and get the repair reconstructed afterwards. Everyone is different there, it does depend on what kind of repair was done, and how everything functions now.

If it was me, I would go and ask for expert advice to be honest, as what you need is advice based on your specific anatomy and medical history. But it sounds like you've already had that medical advice from the OBGYN consultant... ? Did they advise the section, or what was their reason for offering it? You could go back and ask for more clarity there if you're unsure about what they meant.

CheerLouth

If you are feeling really anxious about the whole birth regardless of whether you decide on vaginal or a section, perhaps consider doing GentleBirth & getting a doula who can help to support you during the birth. It's perfectly normal to be anxious after a traumatic delivery - it drives me mad that people just expect women to get over these things. The line "oh sure you've a lovely baby, that's what really matters" makes me so cross.

javagal

pwurple wrote: »

So, I had a 3rd degree tear as well, but on my second daughter. Head was fine, shoulders came out with a twist the midwives weren't ready for... anyway I had to go back and get the repair reconstructed afterwards. Everyone is different there, it does depend on what kind of repair was done, and how everything functions now.

If it was me, I would go and ask for expert advice to be honest, as what you need is advice based on your specific anatomy and medical history. But it sounds like you've already had that medical advice from the OBGYN consultant... ? Did they advise the section, or what was their reason for offering it? You could go back and ask for more clarity there if you're unsure about what they meant.

I had an almost 10lb baby girl 7 years ago and ended up with an episotomy..suction, a pph and internal stitching. They said her size was the issue but didnt necassarily mean it would happen again.
Then, I had a 10lb big headed boy almost 3 years ago and ended up with a "severe 4th degree tear"
Needed 2 surgeons to repair it and ended on physio for 6 months.
Im 11 weeks pregnant now and as much as i am petrified of the recovery of a c section, theres no way it can be as bad as the recovery from my last tear. It still feels tender down there now but also, problems with pelvic floor is the most realistic risk. The thoughts of Peeing/pooping myself when im in my 40s far outweighs the fear of c section recovery.
Im just making sure my hubs takes at least 2 weeks off and then will ask my mam for another few nights. Do whats right for your body but I will not be risking it.

oopsies

pwurple wrote: »

So, I had a 3rd degree tear as well, but on my second daughter. Head was fine, shoulders came out with a twist the midwives weren't ready for... anyway I had to go back and get the repair reconstructed afterwards. Everyone is different there, it does depend on what kind of repair was done, and how everything functions now.

If it was me, I would go and ask for expert advice to be honest, as what you need is advice based on your specific anatomy and medical history. But it sounds like you've already had that medical advice from the OBGYN consultant... ? Did they advise the section, or what was their reason for offering it? You could go back and ask for more clarity there if you're unsure about what they meant.

I havent seen a consultant at all this pregnancy yet. I was told in the wards after my last birth pretty much by every midwife and doctor that came near me that I could have a section next time if I wanted. At that stage I was like no way am I having anymore kids but here I am!!

I know I do have to speak to the consultant when I am back in, but its just always at the back of my mind. Just wondering about others experiences..

Thanks for sharing. xx

oopsies

CheerLouth wrote: »

If you are feeling really anxious about the whole birth regardless of whether you decide on vaginal or a section, perhaps consider doing GentleBirth & getting a doula who can help to support you during the birth. It's perfectly normal to be anxious after a traumatic delivery - it drives me mad that people just expect women to get over these things. The line "oh sure you've a lovely baby, that's what really matters" makes me so cross.

That does annoy me too! I had post natal depression afterwards also that I feel was caused by the birth and recovery.

CheerLouth

oopsies wrote: »

That does annoy me too! I had post natal depression afterwards also that I feel was caused by the birth and recovery.

You poor thing I really hope that this birth will be a healing birth for you x

shesty

I have not had the experience but I have two friends who had c sections on their third in recent months.One due to a botched second delivery, one for another reason.Both recovered fine, just took it easy the six weeks.That's almost the hardest part when you have other kids....enforced taking it easy.
That said, you are 13 weeks.You do not have to make this decision now.See how you go and maybe start talking to your doctor in the third trimester.There are a lot of things to weigh up here, for you.It's your decision at the end of the day (unless obviously it becomes a medical issue).I have given birth three times and at this stage I have realised that your mind definitely goes through a coping phase in the few weeks after birth....I get flashbacks starting a few days later, and my mind persists in replaying it over and over and over until it kind of makes it's peace with it.And mine have been uneventful and natural.It is a traumatic thing that happens to your body when you are kind of out of it, and it takes time to process it.I think it's also a deeply emotional thing.You don't realise the extent of it til afterwards.So I think, take your time and don't commit to anything right now, maybe do your thinking over the coming months and see does a gut feeling start to emerge on it.

Penny Dreadful

I haven’t had an experience like yours but both of my sisters have had. One went on to have a vaginal delivery on her second and it was much better and much easier for her.
My other sister insisted on a planned section for her second and she got it and was very happy with her decision and outcomes.
I’m currently pregnant with my third and I’ve noticed that the Coombe now offers a service run by midwives for women who’ve had traumatic pregnancies or birth experiences. It may be worth booking in for that and discussing your experience and options available to you.

jlm29

I’ve had an episiotomy, a second deg tear and a third deg tear on my 1st, 2nd and 3rd deliveries respectively. For my next baby, I fully intend to have a vaginal delivery again, it hadn’t even dawned on me to look for a section, though I was aware that it was an option. To be honest, I would say that my recovery after the third deg tear was the easiest by far, while the labour where I had the episiotomy was the hardest by far.
I would say that you don’t need to decide now. Try (I know it’s easier said than done) to put it out of your mind, ask your doctors opinion closer to the time, and see how things are going, there’s so many variables, it could be a totally different story next time

sheepeee

I had a 3rd degree tear on my first and at my 6 week checkup my consultant said I would be offered an elective section if I went again. I had a second baby 2 years later and decided to go natural again. I couldn't have had a more different, or better, labour experience to the first. It was much quicker, I didn't have an epidural and I felt in control for the entire thing. I had a minimal few stitches but nothing like the tear on my first. I'm expecting my third baby now, going for a natural birth again, and hoping for an experience like my second birth again.

My recovery from the tear wasn't too bad, I didn't need physio and the stitches didn't cause too much grief. I didn't feel right down there for a good few months though. The second was completely different. Talk it through with your consultant and midwives over the next few months.