Same-sex marrige

skippy123!

Hi guys,

Made a horrible mistake - married someone and figured out that she got married with me only for Visa (she is Brazilian). We split after aprox. 3 months of marriage after I found out that she was performing sexual services for money in Dublin.

Considering that we don't have children, we don't have together any assets (cars, apartment or anything else....) and during our time together I have payed most of the things around the house.

As well - during the time of marriage she was not working for few months as she had to wait for her visa so I was paying most of it. I don't want anything from her but just a divorce.

Does anyone sees this as a straight forward divorce without any special requests from court? I would assume that there can't be any maintenance payments as well as we were married for such a short time?

Appreciate all the help.

Iscreamkone

You will still have to be living apart for 4 of the last five years before a divorce can be granted, I think.

ELM327

Yes, you need to wait 4 years and be living apart for 4 years before a divorce can be granted.
Would go down the legal separation route now first.

Ken.

Most important question. Did you marry in Ireland?

Cloudio9

If the OP reports to the Gardai that she has been conned in to a sham marriage, can it be annulled ?


edit: new poster, sham thread more like it

EdgeCase

Skippy123,

First of all sorry to hear about that. However, don't be too freaked out about the divorce process here. It's long but it's not based on finding fault.

The gender of the spouses makes no difference at all. Ireland has absolute constitutional equality for marriage law.

Ideally, you might be able to go for a consent based divorce. That usually works by drawing up a separation agreement and then using that as the basis for a divorce.

The current constitutional requirement is that you need to be separated for 4 of the previous 5 years. There's a referendum due this year to change that but the details aren't clear beyond its being discussed but the likelihood is that a time limit will be removed from the constitution and legislation will probably reduce it to something like 2 years or possibly maybe even quicker were there's definitely no hope whatsoever of resolving the situation without divorce.

A court will accept that the date that you both agree you separated on is when you did. They don't go delving into your life unless there's some dispute about that between the two parties. You can even be separated while living under the same roof (courts have accepted this).

While the system of divorce here is fairly friendly, it still views the spouses somewhat as if they're codependent financially, if you think she may chase you for assets or maintenance, I would suggest that you get a solicitor. Typically a good solicitor will tie off all loose ends and ensure things like someone can't chase your pension very easily.

If you're both in agreement it's possible to do it by DIY processes that are fairly straightforward and cheap but, I wouldn't suggest that if there's *any* legal risk. It's usually where a couple divorce in a totally non disputed way and are being totally sensible about it. It happens that marriages breakdown and the two parties decide to go their separate ways without any conflict. Basically they have broken up but still trust each other.

In general though, just remember that it's not like a US movie court drama in most divorces here. It's typically a fairly dry discussion with solicitors and getting everything hammered out before you go anywhere near a judge. if there's no dispute and a very well put together agreement, it can be literally a minute in front of a judge to make a decree.

Because there's a legal issue around the immigration aspect and the possibility of it being a sham marriage, you might be best to seek legal advice though. I'm not sure what the grounds would be for annulment there which would basically deem the marriage to have never happened.

I don't think anyone here can offer you advice on that. You would need to speak to a solicitor with familiarity with both family law and immigration law. It would be worth having at least a consultation with one to find out where you stand legally as it's potentially a bit more complex than a typical divorce.

The main thing is to ensure you legally protect yourself and that is why I would definitely suggest getting a solicitor involved asap.

NB: If there's visa fraud involved, you need to be legally represented too. This could turn into a parallel legal issue.

TheBoyConor

That is true in theory, but the reality is different. In practice the courts are heavily biased in favour of women and against men.

You might be forced to pay her alimoney.

If if ye both get a divorced without any dispute with everything apparently closed off. There is always the possibility that she could, even decades in the future, decide to challenge the terms of the divorce and try to come back at you for pension, money or inheritance. Divorce is never "final". There is no such thing. It can always be re-opened.
From the day of your divorce you need to always keep your cards close to your chest. Don't ever let her find out where you work, live etc and instruct family and close friends not to ever divulge information about your situation or whereabouts to the ex or anyone who might be potentially connected or talking to her. Keep anything on facebook, linkedin etc private and out of public eye.
The reason for this is if you were to get a very good job, or come into a lot of money, you don't want her hearing about it, tracking you down and deciding she wants to challenge the divorce agreement so she can take a slice.

This is why I will never, ever get married nor cohabit for more than 5 years. For a man, marriage is an exceedingly risky move. There is literally no going back from it fully.

Tbh OP, the second a non-EU national expresses an interest in marrying it should be setting of big massive sirens and alarms in your head. But that's your business.

Apiarist

TheBoyConor wrote: »

...the courts are heavily biased in favour of women and against men.....

It seems like this is unlikely to be an issue in this case (look at the thread name for clues).

TheBoyConor

opps. sorry. reading the OP i forgot it was a same gendered union

skippy123!

Thank you guys for all reply's so far... The main concern that I have here is that she is working now full time and are able to take care of herself. She is not on a high wage but can sustain herself enough (a lot better and more then she was able then we were together). We have separated more then 3 years now and by this years referendum I would assume that applying for a divorce would be the best option.

If someone is asking for any kind of maintenance - I heard that this is a separate application process that she would have to pay up to 15000 euro in solicitors fees to get it processed far enough to get it applied? Does anyone know a bit more on it? I'm worried that I won't be able to continue my life and getting really depressed about it. I have a feeling like my whole life is being in hands of someone who used me for their benefit.

Xterminator

Hi OP

Can you clarify. Is your partner asking for maintenance or your worrying about it, but she hasn't asked for it?

Family Mediation service in ireland costs nothing. i suggest you look into it.

http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/birth_family_relationships/separation_and_divorce/family_mediation_service.html

It allows for non confrontational discussion of these issues and aims to reach consensus agreement without solicitor fees.

skippy123!

Hello Xterminator,

She is not asking for any but I have a feeling she will based on an argument that we had just after we split up. I have attempted separation agreement with her but she refused to sign (no reason for it as it was defined in a sense where no one looses anything). In court - will this have any value? The fact that I have attempted to resolve matters outside of court but other side refused to cooperate?