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Query

  • 06-02-2019 5:55pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Does anyone have any experience of wanting a relationship but at 33 having no idea how to go about getting one? I've had dates with assholes, nice guys etc but they never lead anywhere. Now I know a lot of these are to do with me and ,my barriers; I've worked a lot on myself in the last few years, so I'm fully aware of my fall downs.

    I went to counselling, have been advised I don't need cpd. Tried holistic methods, self help etc but I just can't seem to overcome this last step.

    I do know a lot of my issues stem from sex and having no experience, for some reason its held me back since I was a teenager.

    Sorry for the ramble, so any advice or programs to help? Thank you


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    alongwaytogo wrote: »
    Does anyone have any experience of wanting a relationship but at 33 having no idea how to go about getting one? I've had dates with assholes, nice guys etc but they never lead anywhere. Now I know a lot of these are to do with me and ,my barriers; I've worked a lot on myself in the last few years, so I'm fully aware of my fall downs.

    I went to counselling, have been advised I don't need cpd. Tried holistic methods, self help etc but I just can't seem to overcome this last step.

    I do know a lot of my issues stem from sex and having no experience, for some reason its held me back since I was a teenager.

    Sorry for the ramble, so any advice or programs to help? Thank you

    Just posting to let you know you are not alone. I am male, 40 and caught in a similar position.
    I stepped away from dating for a period and feel now that I don't know how to.

    All I can tell you are the normal things of focus on enjoying your life, try and do things which give you joy and that hopefully it will lead to a connection with someone.

    That's what I'm trying. Any day now.....


  • #3
    joeguevara
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,175 ✭✭✭joeguevara


    Ok. Everyone is normal in their own way. You admit that you have barriers but allow a person who really has no clue about you say you don’t need CBT (I’m presuming that’s what you meant by cpd). Now I am not saying you do but you need to break down these barriers in a healthy way.

    Most of life’s problems stem from sex but that doesn’t mean that people can’t have a meaningful relationship. Don’t label guys as aresh0les or good guys as most people are a mixture. You are you. Go for it. Have good days and bad days. That’s what’s living. Don’t allow anyone to rule your life. Jump in. Get wet. Have fun. That’s life.


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