Mid Life Career Crisis

LegacyUser

I'm currently working as a childminder. It was something that I liked and enjoyed for quite some time. Not any more.

I'm working in a family's home.
The children range from toddler to teenager years.

I could go into all of the different scenarios that I experienced over the past few years. I'm expected to be a childminder, a cook, a cleaner, a laundry person - washing, drying, ironing and folding clothes. The hours are long, the load is too much and the pay is too low. Generally, I'm expected to be some sort of a miracle worker for this family. It wasn't always like this. Over time more and more was expected of me. Not only that, I get so much grief from the teenager and the mother of the family isn't much better.

I feel any other job there would be an end to a working day.

All the passion and joy that I once had for this is all gone. It impacts my life in different ways:

I can't afford to move out from my parents house. I can't afford rent nevermind a mortgage.
A lot of neglect happening in my own life from losing friendships and relationships because I wasn't ever available.
My own jobs and duties neglected at home until I have time to work on them.

For all my years working, I think I should have something to show for it. I can't even afford a car.

I'm at a point now thinking - what next? I'm so lost with what to do now. What to branch into from here. I like the idea of hairdressing but I suspect getting into that would be hard. I see it as somewhat superficial with many hairdressers in nice fashions, heels, makeup done and I'm none of that.

Other areas I might be interested in is animal care, dental assistant, secretary work.

Has anyone made a career change? I'd love to hear from those that did? How did you make it work? How did you make it work financially? I don't know how I feel about uni.

I'm just so lost.

messy tessy

CareerCrisis wrote: »

I like the idea of hairdressing but I suspect getting into that would be hard. I see it as somewhat superficial with many hairdressers in nice fashions, heels, makeup done and I'm none of that

Depends really on the salon. If you go to a large chain invariably you will see those glamazons strutting around. I much prefer my local place though, very relaxed atmosphere, and the girls are all in black casual clothes with runners. (if I was on my feet all day not a chance I would be in heels!)

Could you try to get a job in a creche or something? You have no one to share the responsibility, it is all on your shoulders. In the meantime I would have a word with the parents, explain that there has been an increased workload that is unmanageable.

klm1

Could you do college part time or take a springboard course? Maybe training up with Fetac and getting a role in a creche would bring back all the things you love about childminding without as much grief from the family. It would also harness your experience to date.

beertons

A friend of mine has a Spanish au pair living with them. She minds/collects 3 kids. That's it. She does no other jobs. All foods/meals are pre-made. She has a separate cleaner call once a week to do a job on the house.

seamus

Tbh, it sounds more like the family is the issue than the "career".

Here's a handy checklist for au pairs. Although you're not an au pair, these are universal rights that apply to all workers - this is just a handy list:
https://www.mrci.ie/blog/au-pairs-in-ireland-facts-myths/

Use this a basis to figure out whether you're being taken advantage of. I'd wager you are.

But don't go to your current family demanding improvements. Find another family. Demand for in-house childcare has never been higher, you can realistically charge €15 an hour, do five hours a day only minding the kids and people will take your hand off.

Once you have a new job lined up, they'll probably want a reference. Tell your current employer that you're moving on; be nice about it, say that you need something easier and more relaxed, make up some bull about your parents getting old and needing more help at home. Get a good reference from them, and run.

LegacyUser

Seamus,

Some of them conditions are met but it's only on paper, it's very different in reality and practice though. For example Sunday premium pay is nil.

I don't have the stamina to do what I'm doing anymore. I never want to work in another childcare capacity again. Either in a home or in a creche.

beauf

I think you have to work out what it costs you to live. Them how much it costs to do the stuff you want to so.

Then look at jobs that earn the money you need. Then work out how to get there.

In the immediate term get a job doing what you do now but for less hours and more money.

LegacyUser

I'm going to need work with a 27k salary just to have and ok standard of living. I'm never going to get that working in childcare.

Is there anywhere online with a list of jobs and salaries I can have a look at?

seamus

CareerCrisis wrote: »

Seamus,

Some of them conditions are met but it's only on paper, it's very different in reality and practice though. For example Sunday premium pay is nil.

This is kind of my point then.

They are in breach of your statutory rights.

In other words, they are exploiting you.

The question is what you want to do next.

I don't have the stamina to do what I'm doing anymore. I never want to work in another childcare capacity again. Either in a home or in a creche.

I expect that while you're being exploited and overworked, you'll find it difficult to get any headspace to figure out what you do want, and all you'll feel like is just throwing in the towel and walking away.

A change is as good as a rest.

And what I mean by this is that if you move yourself into another job that has less work, then you give yourself the space and time to think about the future. You might find that without the mountain of housework, you regain the joy of childcare.
Or you might still feel the same way, but at least you'll have a less stressful position and more hours in the day to have a good think about what you want to do.

You're stuck in a rut where you are at the moment and the only way out of this rut is to find another job. So for the time being, find a job doing something that you know you can do, like childcare. Then you can think about what you want to do.

heretothere

CareerCrisis wrote: »

Other areas I might be interested in is animal care, dental assistant, secretary work.

.

These are all quite different areas! I know you might feel you're too old to, but would you consider contacting a local vet, dentist and office to ask for some work experience?

JustAThought

How mid-life is your career crisis? There is no way of telling from your post if you are 24 or 44!! If you have gone and trained as something before or just fallen into an adult au-pair /paid houswife role. If you have not gone to college and are past a certain age you might well qualify for a mature student grant for college - this could change everything - train in IT or as a physiotherapist or as a social worker or speech therapist or in eyesight or as a solicitor... your choices are endless. One thing you know for sure - you will grow old poor working as a servant nanny for a family and unless you own the business there is no money in childcare/"montessori". Dont get sucked into workjng for free for "experience" or a springboard course - maybe google the CAO results and this might give you a quickstart to the courses that are out there without the grief of going to a low expectation Intreo officer who will only recommend a lifetime of menial labour and lowly paid roles . Dream big. Dont let your past hold you back.

pj12332

I went to college and got a master's in 2011. Graduated in the downturn in a construction reliant field and got nowhere after years of trying to get experience/work. I resent the area now which may be childish but I've changed so much over the years ( graduated at 21 and I'm 28 now). Have worked in retail for years to make ends meet.

My issue was that I persued something that was a lost cause for far too long. In 2014, 3 years after graduation I was diagnosed with symtopatic anxiety and depression. I seriously sturggled since 2014. I mean things got really bad with my head. Finally went to the doctor in November 2018. Got medication and feel a lot better now. In 2016 I had let myself go and luckily I found fitness. Dragged myself to the gym every single day.

In November gone I got the medication as I said and I had lost 4 stone by that point (from 2016-2018). I'm now 13 stone, feel great and went for an interview just today for a role in a fitness club. 4 months ago I could never have dreamed of being able to do it.

Moral of the story, don't waste too much time if you are unhappy. Try new things and see if you like them. If what are now doing is meant to be you will gravitate back to it anyway. I fell into a rut and wasted so many years. Thankfully I found fitness and with medication I'm now able to persue it as a career.

GO FOR NEW THINGS! YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE. That's my suggestion anyway.

All the best.

BuboBubo

How about a factory job?

Ok it's not your "dream career" but - fixed hours, decent regular wages (you will be able to afford a car), and very fair working conditions. There's a ladder you can progress on if you're interested in management/HR/quality assurance/lab technician/engineering amongst others. Most companies will subsidise college fees if the course is applicable to the work.

It would also free up a lot of your time to seek career guidance or study for a career you really want. In fact, many manufacturing companies have an employee assistant programme (EAP) where you can access confidential professional career guidance for free.