Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

Obsession and alcoholism

Options
  • 03-02-2019 12:40am
    #1
    myofasciality
    Registered Users Posts: 11 ✭


    Where do I begin?

    I'm obsessed with a friend of mine. Not a sexual obsession, but an attention one. Whenever I receive a message from him, it makes me feel good. When he doesn't message me for a certain period of time, I become paranoid and passive-aggressive. This has happened on and off for 2 years.

    At the same time, I drink. A lot. At present, I drink perhaps 6 cans of beer per week for at least 5 nights per week. I find it almost inescapable. Even during the days that I don't drink, I think about wanting it.

    I want his attention.

    I want drink.

    So, realistically I can see something is wrong. I'm constantly looking for those two 'feelings' to make me feel like the day is a good one.

    The thing is - I can't see my day or future without either of these. What do, or can I, do in these circumstances?

    I really don't know what to do. Any help is much appreciated!


Comments

  • Options
    #2
    joeguevara
    Registered Users Posts: 8,048 ✭✭✭joeguevara


    myofasciality wrote: »
    Where do I begin?

    I'm obsessed with a friend of mine. Not a sexual obsession, but an attention one. Whenever I receive a message from him, it makes me feel good. When he doesn't message me for a certain period of time, I become paranoid and passive-aggressive. This has happened on and off for 2 years.

    At the same time, I drink. A lot. At present, I drink perhaps 6 cans of beer per week for at least 5 nights per week. I find it almost inescapable. Even during the days that I don't drink, I think about wanting it.

    I want his attention.

    I want drink.

    So, realistically I can see something is wrong. I'm constantly looking for those two 'feelings' to make me feel like the day is a good one.

    The thing is - I can't see my day or future without either of these. What do, or can I, do in these circumstances?

    I really don't know what to do. Any help is much appreciated!

    Do you like him as a potential boyfriend? If so say it to him and see if he feels the same. If he does then that’s perfect. If he doesn’t at least you know that your obsession (your word) is pointless. You will then have to cut down on contact. As the trigger for your emotions is telephone contact or message it might be a good idea to restrict access to your phone so you won’t be constantly checking it. Work your way up from let’s say 1 hour to 2 to 3. If you can go the whole day all the better. Reward yourself every time you resist checking.

    You then need to fill the obvious void in your life that he currently fills. Are you choosing him because then you won’t have to meet someone else which may be scary. Broaden your social circle. If your time is filled with other people then you won’t be obsessed with him. It may sound kitsch but look at a positive meme in the morning and before you go to bed at night. It helps when you read positive words.

    It is a horrible feeling when your happiness depends on another person especially when it appears that they are oblivious. Try and realize that if he doesn’t call or text it isn’t because of you but more than likely stuck at work or in the gym.

    If you think he knows and has done nothing to help you then this should be considered and dealt with. I hope everything works out.


Advertisement